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[Limmo]

That's good.

[Bozack]

It's only about 5 miles from our house in Enchanted Lake.

We can only pray that Peter Pan continues to keep the nefarious Dr. Hook at bay.

I'm certainly not trying to insult you, Aloha. I just really like the fact that your house is in a place called Enchanted Lake. It would be better if it were Enchanted LAGOON, but what can you do?

[jough]

I am jealous, as I have never lived anywhere even remotely enchanted anything.

The closest thing we have in Philly is Manayunk - which ten years ago was a slum but is now very gay and very "upscale" and all built up with crappy semi-chain yuppie bistros.

[Carlos del Vaca]

Dude, Longwood Gardens!  It's ENCHANTING AS ALL GET OUT

[jough]

But no one LIVES in Longwood Gardens.

I also find all botanical gardens to be over-rated, but that is only because I don't like plants and trees and stuff.

[AugustWest]

I think this is a great post, but it doesn't seem quite in character for Pat.  It's paranoid and all, but not self-righteously surly enough.  Good points, good writing, but I didn't believe it came from Pat.  This one probably belongs in Chris's blog.

I've pondered this question myself.  Why the hell can't you make a stir-fry that comes out like what you get at even the worst Chinese restaurant?

I have a theory.  I worked in a Chinese restaurant in college (I was an underaged bartender, it was a hoot.)  Here's my guess:  Higher heat + MSG + Corn Starch.

Higher Heat:  They had those stoves you see on the cooking shows occasionally.  The woks fit into a hole that flames shoot up out of.  I believe this allows the woks to heat faster and stay hotter.  Experience leads me to believe that these conditions lead to higher quality stir-fries.

MSG + Corn Starch:  These guys had like a 50 gallon drum of MSG in the kitchen.  I think it may have been half MSG and half Corn Starch which would explain how they thicken their sauces.

Everything else about the kitchen was pretty much the same as any other restaurant I ever worked in.

[AlohaDawg]

Amen to the higher heat. I just bought a Wok cookbook so my stir-frys have started to resemble restaurant stuff.

In a Chinese restaurant they have this jet engine mounted under an iron-lined hole in the stove. A normal commercial restaurant stove makes something like 18,000 BTUs on average where your home gas stove maxes out at 12,000. On the other hand, Thermador makes a wok 'Jet burner' for commercial kitchens that makes 150,000 BTUs.

Flash cooking things is much easier with that heat; also in a chinese restaurant they have such incredibly seasoned woks (from daily use) that nothing sticks and everything cooks perfectly. I've been using my wok for 7 years and only over the past year or two has it finally developed enough seasoning to really make cooking in it fun.

Funny story: we used to go to this Chinese place in Morton Grove, IL on Dempster St. We would eat there and the food was good. Then we realized that the Chinese people who ate there (we saw very few non-Chinese eating there) ordered off a completely different menu that was all in Chinese, and their food looked different too. Unusual vegetables and dare I say unidentifiable animal products.

Pat - you may not WANT to know. STAY OFF THE BEACH, PAT!

[Chris Onstad]

I think this is a great post, but it doesn't seem quite in character for Pat.  It's paranoid and all, but not self-righteously surly enough.  

Pat has been quiet lately, holed up with a pair of hyperextended knees. Who knows what's been going through his mind. In Pat's room, it might well have been two months' worth of that bedroom scene in Apocalypse Now where Martin Sheen flips out and cuts himself on things.  

Also, I aspire to create a character as perfect as Dale Gribble.

[CortJstr]

Alton mentioned the heat thing on his squid episode. He recommended the burner from a turkey friar since it produces more heat than a home stove.

I eat a an indian place all the time and they'll let anybody order off-menu. Or at least they let regulars, even if we are pasty white.

[Gimpson]

I've been eating at a local Korean restaurant so often that the waiter started suggesting off menu items to me that he thought I might like.  Just when I got in his good graces, they moved him to nights and hired a new lunchtime waitstaff which won't even bring me the Korean tea without warning me that it isn't like normal Iced Tea.  

At least they put out new menus this week that have a lot of the off menu items listed now.

[AugustWest]

Also, I aspire to create a character as perfect as Dale Gribble.

I think you've created at least two and possibly three.

[Silverberg]

Who in the world is Dale Gribble?

[Gimpson]

Who in the world is Dale Gribble?

He's the UN hatin' exterminator who lives near Hank in King of the Hill.

[jough]

I had to google that one myself.  Not really a KotH fan, although I've seen it and the Dale character is hilarious.

[AlohaDawg]

I'm a fan of Boomhower myself. But that is an excellent ensemble of cartoon men.

John Redcorn doesn't get enough storylines.