Ho hum. How about a menu for Greenland's only Chinese Restaurant? Since, you know, moo shu whale is funny.
My favorite:

Happy Celebration giraffe: Wild salmon or arctic charr prepared like a pineapple in shape and sweetness
I'm a big fan of the strange:
102) Kangaroo on an iceberg: kangaroo filet in a sweet and sour tomato paste
Now, I know because I have been monitoring this site as part of my plan to take a trip to Greenland and eat everything on that menu at least once, that the kangaroo was part of a special festival related to the Prince of Denmark marrying someone from Australia, but a first time browser wouldn't have ANY idea why the hell there is KANGAROO in GREENLAND.
I'm also a big fan of the obvious lies:
62) 鱼香鲸鱼肉丝
Whale as fragrant as giraffe: whale meat, bought from the hunter,cooked in a spicy Sichuan sauce, popular throughout China
First of all, I can buy whale being popular in the coastal areas of China, but definitely not "throughout" and certainly not in an inland province like Sichuan.
And then of course the stuff that makes the menu from
Temple of Doom look like candy by comparison:
82) 北极人冰淇淋
Akutaq (“akusaq” in Greenlandic): a traditional Inuit favourite sweet for special occasions, called “Eskimo ice cream” - prepared from caribou fat, seal oil and blueberries。 Something like a cassata but with a whiff of seal oil.
WITH A WHIFF OF SEAL OIL PEOPLE.
Look, I'm a foodie, Onstad is a foodie, all you motherfuckers are foodies and we ALL HAVE A HARD ON FOR THIS PLACE. I say PONY THE FUCK UP and we can charter an Achewood Greenland trip. Flights to Greenland unfortunately are on the little pontoon planes and run about $5,000 from Newfoundland. The other option is to go to Denmark and back via Iceland and that costs more money.
Flight information:
From Canada (I think this is one-way)
Everything else is
from Scandinavia.