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[BatzRadio]

Sure, this one's a toss-off. But it seems like it's a lot of good one-liners that just didn't fit into any of the comics.

Or maybe couldn't be stretched out into their own comic context.

Still, It's like getting a week's worth of quotables in a day. And that's pretty good! Yeah!

EDIT TO FIXING THE THREAD TITLE: Low quality gifs strike again!

[CortJstr]

Won't somebody please think of the hats!

[lloyd]

What does that even mean?!

Hee hee hee!

Oh the wonder of being five years old - you get all sorts of wondrous facts stuck under your scalp (among your scallops?) just long enough for you to wonder intensely for a few minutes, then on to the next thing!

Oh, the wonder of being five: No Tomatoes.

[jough]

I know what I'm doing this afternoon.

[BatzRadio]

What does that even mean?!

Hee hee hee!

Oh the wonder of being five years old - you get all sorts of wondrous facts stuck under your scalp (among your scallops?) just long enough for you to wonder intensely for a few minutes, then on to the next thing!

Oh, the wonder of being five: No Tomatoes.

I said goofy things when I was five. For instance, I tried having a conversation with a fern plant.

But still, my own inspired silliness, goofy facts, and such things were nowhere on the level of what Philippe has picked up so far in life.

I guess it's all in the company you keep.

[JorgeFabregas]

This is good stuff. Also, I wonder if Onstad has been browsing the Modern Humorist Archives: http://www.modernhumorist.com/mh/0008/zoomy/index.cfm

[MattFish]

Don't look at fat people! They know what you're up to.

I think that cracks me up the most out of all of these, but I love them all. Philippe-isms are always great fun in my head.

[lloyd]

I think that cracks me up the most out of all of these, but I love them all. Philippe-isms are always great fun in my head.

Oh, that reminds me of Homosexuals, definitely my favourite Philippe-ism.
 
Where are you now, Homosexuals? I've been through three elections since I saw you last... Come back!


(oh, and that's the American, Danish and English elections - in all cases the war-mongering party-in-power stayed in power. Homosexuals could well have made a difference, that's for sure).

[AlohaDawg]

Am I the only retard who read that as a "person with a damaged ear"?

It made sense to me.

I wonder what scallops brains (or whatever CNS tissue they have)  taste like. Human flesh?

[PinkStainlessTail]

Am I the only retard who read that as a "person with a damaged ear"?

It made sense to me.

That's how I read it too. In fact, why would a person with a damaged car need to stay close to a song announcer? Is it maybe a typo?

[BatzRadio]

Am I the only retard who read that as a "person with a damaged ear"?

It made sense to me.

That's how I read it too. In fact, why would a person with a damaged car need to stay close to a song announcer? Is it maybe a typo?

I had to hold up a magnifying glass to my monitor to verify it. But it is fixed now. Yes.

[V-Adore]

I am almost certain it is actually "damaged ear," but the subject is quaint enough that it's staying as it is.

Anyway, speaking as a verified Fat Person, Philippe is right. We know.

[Noah]

for some reason i imagined mitch hedberg reading all of this and it totally worked

[robot_roll_call]

for some reason i imagined mitch hedberg reading all of this and it totally worked

Well great. I was laughing, but now I am depressed.

[antioch]

A similar line to "What does that even mean?!" appears in mr. Bear's May 7th blog. Corneleus again has trouble coming to terms with MILF: "whatever that means." The old aloof and young innocents all fall to the mighty swears of young bears.