Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

@achewood Alright, America. I'm playing the underpants and pants game. If just for one more day.

Pages: 1 ... 34 35 [36] 37 38 ... 67   Go Down

Author Topic: Baby updates - ongoing  (Read 205842 times)

0 Members and 8 Guests are viewing this topic.

jough

  • God's Own Dick
  • Administrator
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 948
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 6871
  • If you've got the time, we've got El Guapo.
    • View Profile
    • poetry archives
Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #525 on: July 30, 2006, 12:47:56 pm »

It's not cheesy that his little girl wanted to hold his hand while they walked.  It's cheesy that he told us about it.

wombat

  • English-Speaking Pizza
  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 644
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12493
  • Yeah man, these are pugs, not some fuck*ng lolcat.
    • View Profile
Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #526 on: July 30, 2006, 01:28:38 pm »

It's not cheesy that his little girl wanted to hold his hand while they walked.  It's cheesy that he told us about it.

No, it would be cheesy that he told us about it, except that he told us to go fuck ourselves.  So it's OK.
Logged
What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

misterqueue

  • Sick Fuck
  • VIP
  • R I S O T T O ?
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 25
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 2011
  • I can do anything I want. And so can you.
    • View Profile
    • A Reason for Diseasin'
Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #527 on: July 30, 2006, 01:31:23 pm »

No, it would be cheesy that he told us about it, except that he told us to go fuck ourselves.  So it's OK.

Does this mean that if I actually went and fucked myself it would be cheesy all over again?


Oh my goodness the recursion might kill us all!
Logged
So it's satire, is it?  Well that changes everything!

Lockjaw is serious times.

AugustWest

  • Over Easy
  • Moderator
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 774
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 10549
  • Bulbous, also tapered.
    • View Profile
Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #528 on: July 30, 2006, 03:11:52 pm »

Enjoy it while you can, Onstad.
Logged
Infinitely vast, infinitely detailed.

elfbabe

  • Dr. Kisses
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 3
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 39
    • View Profile
Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #529 on: July 30, 2006, 04:30:39 pm »

Current toddler status, 7/30: Today she got up at five because she thought piano practice started then. Piano practice went until six-thirty.
Logged

theinevitable

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 486
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12139
    • View Profile
    • tweet tweet fun fun
Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #530 on: July 30, 2006, 04:36:46 pm »

goddamnit, I want a little baby to want to hold my hand.

don't babies kind of instinctually hold onto things, though? Maybe now that she is a Toddler she is hell of independent? do they do that?

I think it is cute that the small one likes to bang on the ivories.
Logged
Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

misterqueue

  • Sick Fuck
  • VIP
  • R I S O T T O ?
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 25
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 2011
  • I can do anything I want. And so can you.
    • View Profile
    • A Reason for Diseasin'
Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #531 on: July 30, 2006, 04:43:50 pm »

goddamnit, I want a little baby to want to hold my hand.

You see?  This is why you are creepy to mothers in your grocery store, you creep.
Logged
So it's satire, is it?  Well that changes everything!

Lockjaw is serious times.

theinevitable

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 486
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12139
    • View Profile
    • tweet tweet fun fun
Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #532 on: July 30, 2006, 06:39:50 pm »

goddamnit.

when I am much older, and have a loving wife, I would like for us to produce a baby, and I would like for the baby to grow into a young child, and I would like for the child to have the urge to hold my hand as he/she walks.

there is nothing creepy about the urge to one day procreate.

well... I suppose maybe there is. that lady was thinking "wow, it's so creepy that he enjoys babies. what a jerk... he'll probably want to have kids, like my creepy asshole husband."
Logged
Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

dejavroom

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • -=Ray=-
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 165
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1362
  • confused and angry
    • View Profile
Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #533 on: July 30, 2006, 06:54:37 pm »

"Today she got up at five because she thought piano practice started then. Piano practice went until six-thirty."

Is the girl getting piano lessons now? This is insufferably cute, dammit.
Logged
The absurdity is veiled by the poetic charm with which the poet invests it.

Mite

  • Motel 6 Kind of Girl
  • King of the Make-Outs
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 6
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 584
    • View Profile
Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #534 on: July 30, 2006, 07:13:09 pm »

I assumed by "piano lessons", he meant "banging on the goddamned piano at all hours in an endless, tuneless cacophony."
Logged
I'm no longer a Bankhead teacher, but I'll still take your cookies.

linnea

  • VIP
  • Ocular Shenanigans
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 168
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 3332
    • View Profile
Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #535 on: July 30, 2006, 07:20:52 pm »

I assumed by "piano lessons", he meant "banging on the goddamned piano at all hours in an endless, tuneless cacophony."

I was just about to write something similar when I got the red message across the top of my reply window advising me that another post had already been made while I was composing mine!

So now instead of a screaming infant waking Chris and Liz at all hours, the baby instead escapes from her crib to bang on the piano for an hour and a half. If I were the Onstads, I'd get a lock for the piano to prevent the sweet baby from opening it at 5AM and playing. Damn, am I glad that I have cats.
Logged

theinevitable

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 486
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12139
    • View Profile
    • tweet tweet fun fun
Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #536 on: July 30, 2006, 08:55:18 pm »

no, see, you don't get the parent mindset. at this age, banging on the piano is unbearably cute.

at least, I'd be all "oh man! she wants to make music! my daughter is going to be cool!"
Logged
Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

wombat

  • English-Speaking Pizza
  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 644
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12493
  • Yeah man, these are pugs, not some fuck*ng lolcat.
    • View Profile
Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #537 on: July 30, 2006, 09:28:03 pm »

no, see, you don't get the parent mindset. at this age, banging on the piano is unbearably cute.


At five in the morning?  Any of you parents of new babies want to weigh in on this one?  Or are you too sleep-deprived to be reading the messageboard?
Logged
What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

dejavroom

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • -=Ray=-
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 165
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1362
  • confused and angry
    • View Profile
Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #538 on: July 31, 2006, 12:22:58 am »

I'm sure it can be both, no? It depends whether the whiskey already is in the body?
Logged
The absurdity is veiled by the poetic charm with which the poet invests it.

theinevitable

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 486
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12139
    • View Profile
    • tweet tweet fun fun
Re: Baby updates - ongoing
« Reply #539 on: July 31, 2006, 04:17:38 am »

man, come on. we all know you can't wake up with the whiskey already in you.

and ok, you're right. at 5 AM it is not cute.
Logged
Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind
Pages: 1 ... 34 35 [36] 37 38 ... 67   Go Up