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[V-Adore]

Started to get a new thread underway.

I sort of like the singular "herpe," if only because of its total uselessness.

[AlohaDawg]

I liked the designation of "Fool's Herpes" to the ingrown pube. That's awesome.

Also, who among us has not felt like Beef in the dildo store? Especially the description of the clerk. This is truth. I'd love to see Pat's take on service in the dildo store.

[MattFish]

I sort of like the singular "herpe," if only because of its total uselessness.

I love how it makes me think of multiple possible ways to pronounce it, or misspell it depending on how it's probably meant to be pronounced

for instance herp or herpay, or herpee or herpy respectively.

Never mind me.

[Suckin_Dick]

i've had one of those ingrown hairs!  Not pleasant!

also

"yes please just one real basic manageable dildo"

[CortJstr]

"yes please just one real basic manageable dildo"

He should've added "and without an insulting name like 'My First Dildo'"

[aparrish]

aparrish's brief review of sex toy stores he's been to in his life.

Good Vibrations in Berkeley, CA: A+!  Friendly staff did not make me feel like a dick.

Toys in Babeland in New York, NY: F!  Exactly like Beef's experience except I was there with my girlfriend.  Staff seemed to wish that we hadn't even come into the store, actively avoided answering questions, eyed us suspiciously as if we had no right to partake in their lurid, pierced Lesbian world.  F!

[CortJstr]

Man sometimes I'm really glad that I don't know anybody like Ray. And I'm pretty much always glad that I don't know anybody like Lyle. So do people seriously get like this when they smoke?

[V-Adore]

I am very fond of the phrase "dang endoplasmic reticulum."

[Imperator Severn]

Man sometimes I'm really glad that I don't know anybody like Ray. And I'm pretty much always glad that I don't know anybody like Lyle. So do people seriously get like this when they smoke?

Yes.

I know one Ray, and about ten Lyles.  The machete-themed party seriously sounded like something the "Ray" I know would instigate.

[andalucia]

Man sometimes I'm really glad that I don't know anybody like Ray. And I'm pretty much always glad that I don't know anybody like Lyle. So do people seriously get like this when they smoke?

Yes.

I know one Ray, and about ten Lyles.  The machete-themed party seriously sounded like something the "Ray" I know would instigate.

Ok, it's pretty commonsensical, really.  You know those people you know who are idiots/assholes when they drink?  They're probably idiots and assholes when they smoke weed.

[CortJstr]

Dammit, I'm trying very hard not to post in a crude way a question about how balls figure into Pat's breats=dancing equation and it's very hard to do.

[Imperator Severn]

I like to keep orange juice in my pocket.


OK, no I don't.  Is this like stuffing your crotch with a sock, or what?

[side_show]

Dammit, I'm trying very hard not to post in a crude way a question about how balls figure into Pat's breats=dancing equation and it's very hard to do.

Don't worry CJ it's just like the whole barbed c*ck thing, sometimes you have to be... direct.  Again harkening back to when I taught sex ed to teens, sometimes using the medical jargon helps to work these things out.

I would think that the testicles, being liquid filled, would really be a good tool to work with, but I doubt that Pat would even be able to make the leap to focusing on his testies while dancing.  I mean, he's already doing a fairly non-sexual form of dancing.  If you look at the sort of dancing that focuses on the crotch area, the Lambada is central, and it's pretty obvious that Pat could not handle the Lambada.  Even when he's thinking about a women's body, he's thinking about it with anger.  But then, I could argue that a higher centre of gravity - the breasts- are more benificial to dancing than a groin level centre of gravity.  

But I've just spent a paragraph talking about testicles and breasts and gravity, so I sort of want to stop.  Still, I remember about five years ago there was a whole dick-for-a-day thing that was really popular, where famous women wrote about what they would do if they had a dick for a day.  I remember thinking in my own case, how it would probably drastically effect how I move.  And also that I would really take the time to enjoy peeing out doors.  

Did I already talk about the feminine urine despenser here?  I don't think so, but sorry if I'm repeating myself.... Anyway, when I was a teenager, my mom regularly got this catalogue of random shit, and it had all sorts of stupid stuff in it.  Crazy inventions like tools for complexly braiding your hair and those towels that are compressed into the size of a credit card - "great for travel," and one time, one of the items in it was a feminine urine despenser - a crotch funnel, with a container and release drain - "great for travel."  I cut it out and took it to school - showed it to everyone I could.  I was deeply facinated by the whole thing, especially since the Mike Watt song "Piss Bottle Man" had come out around the same time.

Anyway, back on topic - What Pat is forgetting is that breasts impede the ability to dance for one very important reason:  It's way harder to see your feet, and feet are the most important part of dancing.

Also, I have my own story about trying to buy a dildo.  But it's almost midnight, and I don't want to get into a long story about why I had to call the Mastercard people right now.

[V-Adore]

"Simple, easy-to-have breasts" is a fabulous line. You go, Pat.

[Doc]

I know the whole Phillipe suffering thing has been done and everyone is probably over it but I'm just sitting here waiting for the horrible horrible thing that is going to happen to that bird.
Or possibly to Phillipe. I'm half-waiting for the post where Teodore talks about having to take Phillipe to the emergency room because he was mauled by the hawk he kept trying to play with.

And Molly has odd takes on relationships, I'm not sure whether she intends the 'stick his hand in some macaroni' advice to be serious or not, sometimes she seems messed up enough that it would be.

I cannot decide whether advice given by a cartoon cat was sincere.