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[jough]

Yeah, misterqueue doesn't seem like a fuck*ng cock guzzler, which is more than I can say for some noobies around here.

[Bobby Isosceles]

 "phrot", "swordfighting", "cockrub", "c*ck fencing", "bumping dicks", "frication", "docking", "cock knocking", "the Woodberry Hello" and "the Princeton Rub".

'nuf said.

COCK RUB WARRIORS OF MARS!

(this link is NSFW and if you open it at work or in front of anyone you want to respect you ever again you are a fool with no vision)

Hey dudes

This is a site for guys into

COCKRUBBIN

FROT

COCK TO COCK

DICK2DICK

BONE ON BONE

FULL FRONTISM

SENSUAL FROTTAGE

COCK COMBAT

DICKFITES

SEX WRESTLIN

and

BOXIN

too.

And who are proud of what they like to do.

Also a future history of the Cock Rub Warriors of Mars here:

Part 3 -- The Cataclysm

Although their public exhibitions of cockrub prowess and their open celebration of sexuality made the warriors increasingly popular as the decade wore on, it was for their good works that the warriors were most beloved. Their efforts to correct economic inequalities (see Dude Robin and his Cockrub Warriors) and to ward off impending ecological disaster (see Greenpeace and the Rainbow Cockrub Warrior) were highly regarded by the general public.

But, sadly, the warriors were not successful. The Great Cataclysm of 2030-35, which began with devastating droughts in the breadbaskets of America and then the world and ended with disastrous coastal flooding, resulted in the seizure of power in 2036 in what was left of the North American land mass by the Posses of Christ Our Lord Militant, which established the fundamentalist and fanatical Christian States of America, commonly called the Protectorate. Once again, as so often in the past, gay and bi men, along with pagans, witches, and Jews, were forced to flee or go underground, and there are many stories from this era of courageous COCKRUB WARRIORS helping spirit other homosexed men and their wiccan (see Witchcraft) and Jewish allies to safety.

Not content with simply tracking down and killing homosexuals and other dissidents, the Posses and Protectorate vowed to eliminate homosex on the cellular level, and to that end Protectorate scientists were ordered to undertake a crash program to discover and alter that part of the human genome (see DNA) which underlies homosex.

But there were surprises in store for the Protectorate scientists. As they delved deeper into the genetic mysteries, they began uncovering links between the complex of genes which appeared to dictate sexual preferences and those which controlled the size of the genitals, links which had already been suggested by researchers in the late 20th century. This relationship was so pronounced that one of the leading researchers, S. K. Diebold, warned top Protectorate officials that, carried to its logical conclusion, the elimination of the so-called gay genes would result in a 75% loss of erectile tissue, producing a Protectorate c*ck that was about 2 inches long.

[jough]

Man, my life would've been GREAT had I just not clicked on that link.

I coulda been a contender.

[Bobby Isosceles]

Man, my life would've been GREAT had I just not clicked on that link.

I coulda been a contender.

I think your new UBB "rank" should be Dude Robin and his Cockrub Warriors.

[side_show]

Wow, I am totally for having pride in who you are, but that site just comes off as... agressively proud.  This is the high-testosterone world of queers, not the mincing gay theatre queers I'm used to.  Maybe it's the strange comic-hero-esque drawing paired with the lengthy, ALL IN CAPS LIST of names for mutual masterbation, and the application of the term "warriors" connected to sex.  It's a little too much for me.

[Bobby Isosceles]

Wow, I am totally for having pride in who you are, but that site just comes off as... agressively proud.  This is the high-testosterone world of queers, not the mincing gay theatre queers I'm used to.  Maybe it's the strange comic-hero-esque drawing paired with the lengthy, ALL IN CAPS LIST of names for mutual masterbation, and the application of the term "warriors" connected to sex.  It's a little too much for me.

Believing both in the sanctity and communal value of sex, the groups gave exhibitions of their skills in public sex-combat matches, which were highly ritualized, not unlike Japanese Sumo bouts (which unfortunately have vanished, along with the Japanese home islands - see Great Tsunami of 2026). A sand pit, decorated with elaborately painted mandalas, was used for these COCKRUB WARRIOR contests. (The WARRIORS insisted on sand because that way, they said, their blood, spit, sweat, and jizz could return immediately to the source of all life, Earth, who they called the Mother -- see Great Goddess, Cybele, Demeter, Kore, Kali, etc.) One warrior, the lictor, held a caduceus, a staff with intertwined snakes, and officiated. Once the other warriors had encircled the combatants and begun the rhythmic harsh chant of COCK-RUB! COCK-RUB! COCK-RUB! COCK-RUB!, the lictor would signal the start of the match. The two nude, wildly aroused cockrub warriors would then face off, usually in a test of muscular strength and no holds barred wrestling, snarling, grunting, and grappling strenuously before getting to the sensual and barbaric cockrub itself, a head to head and chest to chest lockup in which they would slam their crotches together repeatedly, rubbing, beating, pounding, and grinding their hard cocks against each other over and over, till, sometimes bloody and usually exhausted, one or the other came, and thus, lost the match.

Yeah. This is a step below Molatar in wacky juxtaposition.

[Imperator Severn]

Sex is like War, though.  One must consider mass (of my wang,) objective (to get tha poon-tang,) offensive (to some,) security (prophylactics,) economy of force (Don't chase dat tail too hard,) maneuver (a little to the left,) unity of command (ho's don' be tellin' me what to do,) speed (you like it fast or slow, baby?) and surprise (I generally walk out of the shower nude and then act surprised.)

[V-Adore]

So, Severn, how does it feel being a Cockrub Warrior? Is the dress code really strict?

[Imperator Severn]

The cockrub sergeant is always on my case, man.

[pmcd9]

I may need a moment to collect my thoughts.

~Paul

[side_show]

I'm sorry, I brought the frot into the house, and now it won't leave.  I guess I really shouldn't have fed it all those table scraps.

[pmcd9]

Something to cleanse the pallate.

~Paul

[AlohaDawg]

I was doing OK on that link until I saw the coming soon at bottom (of the page that is).

I think maybe I can get into this idea - hmmm - I think I could make the stems if someone else (maybe with 'fluffy bouncey' breasts) could make the flowers.

[andalucia]

See, the thing is, the paintings are incredibly mediocre, so basically one is paying to own something that has touched a breast.  That seems kind of sad.

[AlohaDawg]

Unless you look at it the other way - maybe someone with no skills or resources is actually making a small living they wouldn't otherwise have.

Maybe.

I guess it's still kind of sad but it could be worse.