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[Imperator Severn]

Liebot is the greatest.  He reminds me of me.

[side_show]

Christ, does everybody here whine like a woman?

But I am a woman... I have fluffy bouncey breasts and soft silky skin, and lovely flowing hair.  That is what makes up a woman, in case you didn't know.  If I were to whine, I would hope, with all these accoutrements, that I would then whine like a woman.  And I am certainly not in any way ashamed of being "like a woman."  Too bad you are too stupid to even recognise a woman when you meet one.  It must be a lonely life for you.

or:

Ha, ha, ha.  Fuck you, you fucker!  Try to take a look at any other part of the forum and figure out how things work around here before you post an off-the-cuff comment like that.  You.  fuck*ng.  Idiot.  You can sure as hell bet your mother whined when she shitted you out.  And she probably whines now looking at the waste of space she brought into the world.

Shut the fuck up.

Sorry folks, but I seem to remember concern that we are being soft on the newbies, so it's come to this.

[Imperator Severn]

It was a yes-or-no question, bitch.

[side_show]

It was a yes-or-no question, bitch.

Actually, it was a fairly obvious attempt to incite a reaction, just like your post is.  

I was attempting to respond in as sarcastically as possible a method as I could.  I am not insulted.  I couldn't care less.  Again, meh.

[Imperator Severn]

Bitch.

[jough]

I don't get why people even bother making up accounts and posting just so they get banned.  You know how long it takes to ban a user?  Like four seconds.

Seriously - it's two clicks.

I know it has to take a lot longer than that to sign up for, activate, and then post obnoxious crap using that account.

So WTF, dude?

W

T

F

?

[V-Adore]

Christ, does everybody here whine like a woman?

Bitch.

Girls, girls, you're both pretty...

[Imperator Severn]

Do you really think so?  You're a mensch.

[Bozack]

Wha...what...what in the FUCK?
I can't even tell what's happening anymore. I can no longer separate fantasy and reality. Sarcasm has died.
Also, I like to talk about my sloppy wet pu$$y as much as anyone, but "bitch"?

Mickey, that's what my father used to call me! I thought you'd be a little more creative than that!

[pmcd9]

So I have to ask: V - who measures bun length? surely we are talking about bun width/breadth in this context? I mean if I'm looking at some booty, I'm not concerned about how close to the back of the knee it gets (which would be, um, interesting although only in a clinical/freakshow kind of way) but more in the Sir Mix-a-lot kind of way, that is, side to side/front to back - the whole junk-in-the-trunk thang, you know - I mean, if she's a 6'4 Amazon she might have some long hams too but still the interest is in the other proportions -

I spoke to my friend Sue the Hippo lover today and she was unaware that Hippo's had the largest buns.  However, she's a member of a Hippo appreciation society of some sort with a membership of over 600 and she's vowed to get to the bottom of this matter.  I'll report back with her findings as soon as I have them.

~Paul

[CortJstr]

So I have to ask: V - who measures bun length? surely we are talking about bun width/breadth in this context? I mean if I'm looking at some booty, I'm not concerned about how close to the back of the knee it gets (which would be, um, interesting although only in a clinical/freakshow kind of way) but more in the Sir Mix-a-lot kind of way, that is, side to side/front to back - the whole junk-in-the-trunk thang, you know - I mean, if she's a 6'4 Amazon she might have some long hams too but still the interest is in the other proportions -

I spoke to my friend Sue the Hippo lover today and she was unaware that Hippo's had the largest buns.  However, she's a member of a Hippo appreciation society of some sort with a membership of over 600 and she's vowed to get to the bottom of this matter.  I'll report back with her findings as soon as I have them.

Paul knows everybody. Well, everybody who's vaguely scary and weird anyway. Which explains why we all know him too.

[side_show]

I don't get why people even bother making up accounts and posting just so they get banned.  You know how long it takes to ban a user?  Like four seconds.

Seriously - it's two clicks.

I know it has to take a lot longer than that to sign up for, activate, and then post obnoxious crap using that account.

So WTF, dude?

W

T

F

?

See I love you jough, because no matter what, I know two things for certain:

1) you do not tollerate bullshit
2) you love women in their lingerie, not matter what their size.

I always remember these two things, and this is why I make TOUAMB my message board home.  Maximum cuddles and bon frotage to you, daddy.

[Imperator Severn]

Bon frontage-- that's French for "full frontal."

[miles]

ObFunLink: abandoning Scandinavian Rap for the moment, let's see what the Indian subcontinent can provide us....

It's not working Bobby.  And I'm excited to see it, because the last link you posted still gives me a hard-on just thinking about it.

[jough]

See I love you jough

Oh yeah, you say that now, but I sleep with just one of your friends and you get all huffy with me.

1) you do not tollerate bullshit

I don't tolerate bullshit either.  Or typos.

2) you love women in their lingerie, not matter what their size.

Well, within reason.  I mean, as a man of gravity I know better than to wear things like speedos or pretty much anything tight fitting.  And I expect women of gravity to know where those limits are too, because limits are important.

However, I think my previous point was that women can be sexy no matter what their shape or, um, form.  And really, any time a woman whose company you find even vaguely enjoyable trots out in the lingerie for your pleasure I don't see how anyone could complain about such a thing.

I'm not such a huge fan of lingerie as it'll just get ripped off before the action starts anyway (seriously - who was the first jaded man for whom total female nudity wasn't good enough?  I ask you!) but I know enough to appreciate it vocally when a woman goes out of her way to play dress up and show an active interest in our sex life.

Did I just reply waaaaaaaay too much to that point?

Anyway, I get mega crushes on literate women with a sense of humour and a forgiving nature (it's a requirement of any potential mate, as otherwise the relationship won't last very long) and lingerie is really immaterial.

Also, speaking of women of "average" builds, has anyone seen the Dove ads with regular looking women (not airbrushed ridiculously skinny models) in their underwear?  They are about the hottest fuck*ng billboards I've ever seen.  

Also, gentlemen, have you noticed that the Playboy Playmates tend to never be very pretty?  They're all big haired and big titted, but dang, Hef and I sure do have differing opinions of beauty.

Okay, I'm rambling because I should be sleeping.  But 3AM is still an hour too early for me to go to bed (not really, but I've been going to bed later and later but tomorrow I have to get up early to take care of some things).

Okay, seriously, that's it.  Oh wait, there's a little more.

I always remember these two things, and this is why I make TOUAMB my message board home.  Maximum cuddles and bon frotage to you, daddy.

Not that I have a Lolita fetish or anything (well, I guess I do adore the Nabokov novel) but it's hell of hot to be called "daddy" like that.  But it's hell of cheesy to refer to oneself as "daddy" as in "Who's your daddy?"  Yeah.  Ultimate cuddles right back atcha.

Must sleep if I'm to function tomorrow/today.

Goodnight, women of all sizes wearing all sorts of things everywhere.