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[pmcd9]

The idea for this post has been sitting in the back of my mind for quite a while now.  I think it's time to set it free.

As i'm sure all of you know, my hometown team just qualified to play in the World Series for the first time in it's 44 year history.  I'm very excited about this.  It's been a lot of fun so far and everyone is happy to be watching a winner.  I've been turned off of professional sports for a long long time and I'll never be able to really care about that again, but I do love the game of baseball and while this playoff run has been going on I have been able to divorce myself from the reality of what a cesspool major league sports are.  Anyway, enough about that Go 'Stros.

What I really wanted to talk about is my shameful rationalization over the names of Houston's sports stadiums.  I hate that corporate America can basically buy and sell virtually anything.  I hate that the citizens of our town have to pay for these stadiums, especially when our town already had totally awesome facilities before.  But I like the names Toyota Center and Minute Maid Park.   I'm a Toyota driver and Ford and Chevy p/u trucks aside, a quick glance at Houstons streets will show you that Toyota is clearly the most popular vehicle in this town.  So i'm all for having a Toyota Center.  Why the hell not.  My most favorite food in the world is the tomato, I just love 'em and it's rivaled in my mind only by the orange.  I just love oranges, they are so delicious.   So naturally i've partaken of Minute Maids product on many occasions.  There are a lot of things that could be much worse than having a baseball stadium with huge  oranges on it.

~Paul

[AugustWest]

Fuck you man, I'm a Cardinal fan.

[Bozack]

As i'm sure all of you know...

I did not know this.
Now, I thought that dogs, that dogs came out of eggs. So, you know, we all learned something.

[Imperator Severn]

I still call it "Enron Field."

[Golfhaus]

Since learning to appreciate NASCAR, I have actually stopped going to Lowe's and started going to Home Depot because of who they sponsor. This is the first time that I've been this conscious of the fact that I have succumbed to marketing.

I was one of the people pissed off when Dan Snyder changed the name of the stadium from Jack Kent Cooke Stadium to Redskins Stadium, especially when we all knew that was just a stopgap before someone came along and stuck their face on the place (as FedEx soon did). It was like Snyder just couldn't stand having the old man's name on the building, and didn't want to wait until a sugar daddy came along.

I'm surprised no one has gone after Shea Stadium yet... but then, I guess most people have forgotten the Mets even exist. Except me. Sigh.

[Carlos del Vaca]

I went to a Rockets game at the Toyota Center a while back.  The most amusing thing is the "Tundra Zone," a section on one of the mezzanine levels where a Toyota Tundra pickup is parked there.  You can watch the game with a truck!  One guy seriously leaned on the truck the whole game; you could tell he was loving life.

In Philly, we make our wonderful sports memories at the Citizens Pank Park-Lincoln Financial Field-Wachovia Center sports complex.  Wheeeeeeeeeee.

And you want to know why the Redskins suck so bad and will for the foreseeable future?  Jack Kent Cooke built the stadium (partially with his own money, partially with public funds, natch) and it has its name on it.  When he died, his heirs sold the team, but one of the conditions of the sale was that the stadium remain Jack Kent Cooke Stadium for all of eternity.  Fuckhole Daniel Snyder bought the team, and not wanting to give up a single dime of potnetial revenue, announced that it was now "Fedex Field at Jack Kent Cooke Stadium," but media outlets had to call it just "Fedex Field"; any using the whole name would have their credentials yanks.

DICK.  Now JKC has cursed the Redskins from beyond the grave.  They will not get to the Super Bowl until such time as Snyder leaves.

[CortJstr]

I was just about to post what Carlos did. I thought nobody remembered that but me. He just took the college system and tweaked it. Where it's like John Smith Field at Scott Stadium at Rich Dickweed Arena. But hey, considering the tickets already explicitly forbid you from describing the game to a friend I guess Snyder can do whatever he wants. Oh, and don't forget that he got everybody to use a fake town name. The stadium is in Raljohn but he makes all the reporters say Landover. I guess it's kind of like AOL claiming to be based in the fictional town of Dulles. You're in Sterling, fuckers.

I like it when companies buy stadiums but the rename never catches on. I never once heard a real person say US Air Arena. That shit was always the Cap Center. It took like a year before even radio announcers consistently said 1st Mariner instead of the Balitmore Arena.

At least Heinz Field makes sense.

[arkabee]

At least Heinz Field makes sense.

see, i don't get that one because is he really that good of a receiver?

[Golfhaus]

Ding!

I think they should make him change the spelling of his name to that for the duration of his time with the Stillerz.

I'm willing to bet one drunk Burgher has made a "Go Heinz Ward" sign for every game since his first.

[aparrish]

I think the whole system is ripe for some conceptual art.  Let's raise $300M or however much it takes to name one of these things and then go have a hot dog down at, uh, Engorged Genitals Stadium.

Then again, maybe the private sector can take care of this for us.  If only Nad's had enough money to sponsor a stadium ...

[CortJstr]

The not-yet-built stadium for the Nationals is already selling it's naming rights. One of the groups bidding wants to name it Taxation Without Representation Stadium. But the army is way out bidding them.

[pmcd9]

Lakewood Church will always be The Summit to me.  That's where I smoked a two foot joint with my friends, ate too much acid and saw the Devil (at an Ozzy show), and watched a drunk girl piss in the sink.

Good times...

~Paul

[pmcd9]

Fuck you man, I'm a Cardinal fan.

Me too.  I'm a hometown fan all the way.  So I have affection for The Cards because even though I was yet to be born, before the Astros (or Colt .45's as they were originally named) Houston was the home of one of the Cards farm clubs.  The Houston Buffs they were called.  There is a Furniture store where old Buffs stadium used to be.  There is a museum to the Buffs inside the store.  Anyway, my Dad was a big Cards fan when he was growing up.  Dizzy Dean was his favorite player.  So yeah I like the Cards

~Paul

Edit:  1500 post.  Yay!!!

[JorgeFabregas]

I went to a Rockets game at the Toyota Center a while back.  The most amusing thing is the "Tundra Zone," a section on one of the mezzanine levels where a Toyota Tundra pickup is parked there.  You can watch the game with a truck!  One guy seriously leaned on the truck the whole game; you could tell he was loving life.

At U.S. Cellular Field (The Cell, for those of you favoring non-corporate names) they have the Pontiac Fundamentals Zone where kids can fool around with a tee and other things while in close proximity to a Vibe or some such.

Much worse, though, is, the Chevy Pride Crew. Twice a game bouncing women, Southpaw (the mascot), and prospective future presidents throw and hurl t-shirts into the stands while gigantic Chevy pick-ups drive from behind the centerfield wall onto the warning track, then reverse themselves when the time comes.

They do have 13th highest payroll in baseball this year, however, despite having the 17th best attendance (on a good year). Their attendance has been between 21st and 25th in the last few years so the fact that their payroll seems disproportionately high makes me think that they are actually investing the money netted from ridiculous advertising into the team. This makes it much more palatable in my mind.

[pmcd9]

Just before the game began tonight Wynonna Judd, Michael McDonald and a couple of others I don't know sang a song that was so totally treacly and sickening.  What the hell was that.  It was so bad it made Lee Greenwood seem low key by comparison.  Again, what the hell was that?

In better news, they just ran an advert for a new movie about Young Johnny Cash.

~Paul