Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[side_show]

Come on, you know you've all done it.

My SO and I have recently both had to lie to our bosses, for the SO it was so he could have a job interview with a compeating company for a much better paying job, and for me it's was to get out of working a 24 hour teen playwritting festival that would have killed me with exhaustion!

You know you've told some whoppers, so share up my peeps.

That's right, I wrote "peeps" - what are you gonna do about it?

[Golfhaus]

I have an INSANE fear of falling. Not so much a fear of heights, I can go into tall buildings and what not. But I can't climb ladders unless there's something hell of sturdy to hold on to. If I'm at a mall where the center of the upper floors is cut away so you can look down at the floors below, I can't go anywhere near the railing. I have to be a good ten feet away if I don't want to get that oh-shit feeling.

I have lied to two bosses about this fear, that it's genesis came when I was a little boy and my dad made me climb up a ladder with something, and I lost my balance and fell. Because having a fear of falling sounds better when you attach some childhood trauma to it rather than the truth: I'm a wimp who can't control my own impulses.

[yu-huang]

"My tooth fell off, gotta go" (holding hand in front of mouth).

[misterqueue]

Terrifying things

I have also had this fear for a long time until recently.  It started with escalators when I was a kid, and mostly I was afraid because I didn't trust myself not to leap off/over/jump.  It was like my legs wanted to move of their own accord and I could not trust their self-preservation skills.  Recently it left.. I'll get little snippets of it sometimes, but not nearly as bad (usually I only get it when doing something ridiculous I'd never do in real life via a video game or something), which just goes to show that with booze, you stop caring... or something.

Anyway, as far as lying to my boss goes; every day my friends, when I tell him that I really care and want to do a good job.

[Golfhaus]

Oh don't get me started about escalators. I can't ride them if I'm carrying anything. I have to have both hands on the railings.

[miles]

I have also had this fear for a long time until recently.  It started with escalators when I was a kid, and mostly I was afraid because I didn't trust myself not to leap off/over/jump.  It was like my legs wanted to move of their own accord and I could not trust their self-preservation skills.

God, isn't that such a terrifying feeling?  I still get that in certain situations.

[pmcd9]

I have lied to two bosses about this fear, that it's genesis came when I was a little boy and my dad made me climb up a ladder with something, and I lost my balance and fell. Because having a fear of falling sounds better when you attach some childhood trauma to it rather than the truth: I'm a wimp who can't control my own impulses.

I actually fell off of a ladder, well more precisely, the ladder broke and I fell damaging my acl.  I now have a mild fear of ladders.  I'll still go on one, but I get a little nuts about checking it out for safety.  I've always been proud of my lack of irrational fears. I stood at the lip of the Grand Canyon, but now I get a little twinge of fear just looking at the pictures.

~Paul

[misterqueue]

I have also had this fear for a long time until recently.  It started with escalators when I was a kid, and mostly I was afraid because I didn't trust myself not to leap off/over/jump.  It was like my legs wanted to move of their own accord and I could not trust their self-preservation skills.

God, isn't that such a terrifying feeling?  I still get that in certain situations.

I hate it, but I feel a little better knowing that there are other people who don't trust their legs at times as well.

It is always.. ALWAYS terrifying to not trust a piece of oneself.

(Please no c*ck jokes about the last line, for it is a truth.)

[pmcd9]

Oh yeah, and everyone has lied to their boss, the whole relationship is based on lies called a resume?

~Paul

[miles]

It's rad that this is in Sports & Leisure.  Lying to your boss is fun!

So the other day my friend told my boss that I had lied about doing something she had asked me to do (it was all in good fun).  My boss looked at me and said "you don't seem like the kind of guy who would do that," and I said "no, I really did," and she replied, "no, I meant lie.  You don't seem like the kind of guy who would lie."  It was nice that she said that, and while I consider my self to be pretty honest, I'm not Kantian about it or anything, and will lie, you know, to save a life, or even to get myself out of a bad or sticky situation.  It makes me wonder if I have lied to her but can't remember it, and she has found out about it, and is trying to guilt a confession out of me.  Or maybe she just thinks I'm a great guy.

I do have a secret crush on my boss, and only the friend mentioned above knows.  My boss is intimidating, and I think it's a bit of a turn-on.  What can I say?  She terrifies me!  It's worrisome because this friend has a big mouth when she drinks, and sometimes my boss is around when drinking is going on, and it could lead to awkward situations.

[Bozack]

It's worrisome because this friend has a big mouth when she drinks, and sometimes my boss is around when drinking is going on, and it could lead to awkward situations.

Or disturbingly erotic ones. At least you've never had to work for this woman. I did. She would actually sort of jokingly flirt with her underlings in order to get them to take bad shifts, etc. She once got two of my friends to spend 8 hours, every Monday, cleaning the restaurant by saying please with her lip sort of quivering and showing up the first Monday in tiny, tiny shorts. She was a PRO.
I'm taking a shit shift today, but my boss isn't an attractive woman. Lucky for him, I'm just a total pushover. My latest boss lie is, "No, I'd be happy to work on Friday."

[miles]

Holy shit!  For her, I would spend 8 hours every Monday...well, let's not go there right now.  It's been far too long for me.

[CortJstr]

I'm good unless I stand at the edge and just look at it for a while. But the world supply of money/hooker/&c is no where near large enough to get me onto that Nightmare Bridge of Untimely and Shrieking Death they're putting up at the Grand Canyon.

[misterqueue]

I'm good unless I stand at the edge and just look at it for a while. But the world supply of money/hooker/&c is no where near large enough to get me onto that Nightmare Bridge of Untimely and Shrieking Death they're putting up at the Grand Canyon.

Just looking at that concept drawing is making my testicles ascend into my body for protection.

Luckily bozack has supplied an image of his old boss to help me coax them back out.  (I kid I kid.. not until my lunch break)

[jough]

Okay, I guess I'll tell the resume story now.

Every time I revise my resume I track which version it is by some ridiculous job included on it, like speechwriter for President Ford (he was so great at giving speeches), Submarine Salesman, Bongo Tuner, etc.

Right now my fake job is "March 1980-September 1984. Los Angeles Mental Rehabilitation Clinic.  Disco Deprogrammer.  Helped acclimate dancefloor divas from the dance and fashion styles of the 1970s disco era to then extrant fashions. Narrowed neckties, shortened collars, and reduced pant flares. Worked to transition patients away from ludes and smack to coke, speed, and crack."

Then if they don't ask me about the fake thing I know they haven't even read the resume.