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[Biz Markizzle]

Hi

So I hate to bring up past drama, but lately on this board I have been reading all the arguments and whatnot and being greatly amused by them, partly at the foolishness of people who seem unable to follow what seems to me a fairly simple Internet protocol, and partly at people who talk as though things like "tiny cans of Dr. Pepper" have any actual value in this world (a world in which important things are happening, such as Chinese villagers protesting, and Eminem getting remarried).

But then! Last night I had a dream that I logged onto my gmail account, and I had an e-mail from every user of this board telling me that I now had negative two thousand cans of Dr. Pepper. The e-mail did not say why. But in my dream, having such a low score led to disastrous results: the entire Internet stopped working. Forever. After that I forget what happened basically, but I know I spent some time panicking and trying to figure out what I was going to do without the Internet, and eventually I ended up in Borders, where a band called "Roxanna and the Rox" were playing.

So, apparently, in a mental test of strength between my slightly condescending attitude toward the Internet and my fear of being disliked by large groups of people, the latter has taken the Victory. Just wanted you to know I'm having dreams about you. Hopefully in the future they will be more sexy and less anxiety-based.

Biz

[Golfhaus]

Last night I had a dream that I logged onto my gmail account, and I had an e-mail from every user of this board telling me that I now had negative two thousand cans of Dr. Pepper. The e-mail did not say why. But in my dream, having such a low score led to disastrous results: the entire Internet stopped working. Forever.

That would be awesome - "Newbie, we at TOUAMB have decided that your lameness is a detriment to online society as a whole. We are not banishing you from our board. We are banishing you from the entire online realm. Please give your computer to the nearest library. While you're there, find a nice book or three. You have the time now."

[Roger]

I've been noticing too that sometimes these things like post count and tiny can quota end up taking center stage, while they're actually just accessories to a discussion around drawings of a cat in a thong.
But anyway, here's a can for you, just in case.

[V-Adore]

There. That's one can towards the "make sure Biz Markizzle continues to have tne Internet" drive. Yay!

[AlohaDawg]

Minus 2000 is paltry. I've seen the bottom of the hole.

I haven't seen where post count and tiny cans take center stage - at least not among the people I talk to the most around here. The problems I've seen pop up where people either take things too personally or try to attack people personally. Sort of like in real life.

The other problems happen when people display a high level of asshattedness.

[wombat]

Wait - the internet stopped working for you only?  Or you ruined the internet for everybody?

[pmcd9]

Wait - the internet stopped working for you only?  Or you ruined the internet for everybody?

It's OK Wombat, with your 88 cans you are in no danger of losing your internet privileges.

~Paul

[wombat]

Shhh!  You must never mention my tiny cans.  You might frighten them away.

[misterqueue]

Shhh!  You must never mention my tiny cans. 

Naaaah... too easy.

[wombat]

See!  Now there are only 87!

[V-Adore]

See!  Now there are only 87!

When I read that post, there were 85. I gave you another to get you to 86.

Whoever is taking away Wombat's soda, you are not rad!

[Golfhaus]

I'm pretty sure it would have come up by now if it were so, but I have to ask anyway - Jough, is there a Pepper log to see who gives and who takeths away the carbonated karma?

[misterqueue]

That's okay.. someone just took one or two away from me just for replying to your tiny cans.

I feel wombat's pain.

[miles]

Naaaah... too easy.

Booooo!

Edit:  I didn't steal a can, man.  I know what they mean to you.

[jough]

There is no log, nor a way to keep track of who gives what cans to whom.

HOWEVER

There is a separate count of cans given and cans taken away.  We could set up the board to show either the individual achievement or the total (Given - Taken = Number of Cans).

I think the latter is best.

While my can count is pretty low, I think I have the highest number of given and taken away overall.  Wombat, though, has a huge number of given, and probably the best ratio of given-to-taken cans.