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Once you been to a few weddings, you realize ain’t nobody gives a damn if you readin’ custom vows or the 1987 “Let’s Go!” guide to Bahrain. Just use that stuff about Do/Don’t and Sickness or Health and you gonna get the job done.  -=RAY=-

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Author Topic: pu$$yid, or, FREE pu$$y!  (Read 13188 times)

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Bozack

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pu$$yid, or, FREE pu$$y!
« on: January 18, 2006, 06:04:40 pm »

Gather around, chilluns, and let me tell you a story. A story...about pu$$ys.
Seems ol' Bozack "Polecat" Swensonsonson got hisself some ideas and went off to high-falutin' art school up in New Yahk Siddy. He didn' care for it all too much, but he met some mighty nice folk. One of them was a lady who we gonna call Sarah.
Now, Sarah had herself a problem- a septate hymen. See, when Sarah was developin' in her momma's womb, the layer of tissue covering her pu$$yl openin' didn't thin out like they usually do- it left a thin band o' tissue stretchin across her pinkest of secrets. If Sarah were ever gonna lie with a man in carnal congress, she was gonna need to get herself one a them "hymenectomies," when a gynecologist would surgically remove her hymen. It's a routine surgery, ain't too much trouble a'tall.
But Sarah's momma was onea them Roman Catholics, and she was pleased as punch that her daughter had a built-in device to protect her maidenhead. She told Sarah that she'd get her hymenectomy when she got a husband to pay for it. Sarah, bein' a modern college lady in the big city, wasn't happy about this at all. To make matters worse, since the hymenectomy would cost under $2,000, Sarah's insurance provider wouldn't cover it.
There's a reason they call ol' Bozack "Polecat"- he's crafty like one, and don't smell too nice either. He started thinkin' and thinkin', and before long, he happened upon an idea. The Internet.
The Internet helped that one idiot girl get rid of her credit card debit, and helped thousands of people get laid. Why didn't they see what it could do for Sarah?
Thus, the seed of pu$$yid was born. Bozack & Sarah are still workin' on the particulars, but he's ready and willin' to donate time and money to see Sarah get that hymenectomy.
And that's the news from New York City. Where the men are ugly, the women are mean and the children eat human flesh.
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CortJstr

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Re: pu$$yid, or, FREE pu$$y!
« Reply #1 on: January 18, 2006, 06:14:06 pm »

I knew a girl in college with basically this same exact problem. Weird. Eerie.
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misterqueue

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Re: pu$$yid, or, FREE pu$$y!
« Reply #2 on: January 18, 2006, 06:21:25 pm »

The question though is how to pull a return on people's investment?  With crazy credit card lady, dudes were thinking they were helping out a poor lady.  Dudes are always suckers for that.

With getting laid, uh, the return is getting laid.


I guess what I'm getting at is will there be before and after pictures?  Cause really, that's what we're all thinking about.  Right?  ....right?


Dammit, once again I'm the Sick Fuck.

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CortJstr

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Re: pu$$yid, or, FREE pu$$y!
« Reply #3 on: January 18, 2006, 06:24:52 pm »

I always feel a little cheated when the real name of an operation is the normal word with -ectomy on the end like lumpectomy. It sounds made up. Like people who just add -o to words to speak fake spanish.
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V-Adore

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Re: pu$$yid, or, FREE pu$$y!
« Reply #4 on: January 18, 2006, 06:25:11 pm »

Truly, Bozack, you are a noble soul. May you and this lady friend of yours have good luck in freeing her pu$$y from the scourges of extremely minor birth defects.
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wombat

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Re: pu$$yid, or, FREE pu$$y!
« Reply #5 on: January 18, 2006, 06:59:34 pm »


I guess what I'm getting at is will there be before and after pictures?  Cause really, that's what we're all thinking about.  Right?  ....right?


Dammit, once again I'm the Sick Fuck.



Q you are a sick fuck in full size type.  Be true to yourself.

If you really need any return other than to assist in this most worthy of causes...  one more pu$$y in the world, one more possible chance to get laid, right?  My momma always told me that that's how you guys on the Innernet think.



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AugustWest

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Re: pu$$yid, or, FREE pu$$y!
« Reply #6 on: January 18, 2006, 07:06:09 pm »

Q you are a sick fuck in full size type.  Be true to yourself.

If you really need any return other than to assist in this most worthy of causes...  one more pu$$y in the world, one more possible chance to get laid, right?  My momma always told me that that's how you guys on the Innernet think.


There, corrected that for you.
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misterqueue

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Re: pu$$yid, or, FREE pu$$y!
« Reply #7 on: January 18, 2006, 07:10:42 pm »

Q you are a sick fuck in full size type.  Be true to yourself.

If you really need any return other than to assist in this most worthy of causes...  one more pu$$y in the world, one more possible chance to get laid, right?  My momma always told me that that's how you guys on the Innernet think.





Thank you wombat for showing me the truth about my sick fuckery.  Full sized sick fuckery.

And here's one can closer to that glimmering 100 for you Miss.
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jough

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Re: pu$$yid, or, FREE pu$$y!
« Reply #8 on: January 18, 2006, 07:13:32 pm »

Bozack, aren't there other girls in New York City who have already broken their hymen?  I mean, this sounds like a long way to go just to get laid.

Also, if you were any kind of man, you'd break that hymen yourself - with your cock.

The bleeding is normal.

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Re: pu$$yid, or, FREE pu$$y!
« Reply #9 on: January 18, 2006, 07:27:36 pm »

So is there a website were people can go to learn more and possibly donate? Or is this by word of mouth only?

As much as I hate to admit it, I don't think many people will donate without something in return. It's not that people are selgiraffe, it's that this isn't a life and death situation so some people might not feel compelled to help. Ya know?
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V-Adore

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Re: pu$$yid, or, FREE pu$$y!
« Reply #10 on: January 18, 2006, 08:02:40 pm »

As much as I hate to admit it, I don't think many people will donate without something in return. It's not that people are selgiraffe, it's that this isn't a life and death situation so some people might not feel compelled to help. Ya know?

What you do is play up the "Roman Catholic mother" angle. A lot of people on the Internet will gladly donate money if they perceive it as Striking a Blow For Sexual Freedom in the face of The Man, who is typically a religious type and/or a parent. Never underestimate the financial impact of smarmy, self-important college-age atheists.
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Choop

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Re: pu$$yid, or, FREE pu$$y!
« Reply #11 on: January 18, 2006, 09:00:29 pm »

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Bozack

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Re: pu$$yid, or, FREE pu$$y!
« Reply #12 on: January 19, 2006, 12:34:46 am »

Yeah, I'm thinking t-shirts. Of course, the other option is just holding a party and passing a hat; I've already pledged $300. But wouldn't pu$$yid be an awesome music festival?
Wait....
Her ex-boyfriend, who she is on good terms with, is in a band that played at the Knitting Factory the other night. If he could convince his band to take out $2000 before divying up the nights returns...
I'm doing that Grinch smile thing.

Oh, P.S., it turns out that my actual computer has a problem with the power source, which will probably cost many simoleons to fix, as well as a bunch of time. I might be in and out for a while.
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miles

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Re: pu$$yid, or, FREE pu$$y!
« Reply #13 on: January 19, 2006, 12:51:28 am »

So is there a website were people can go to learn more and possibly donate? Or is this by word of mouth only?

As much as I hate to admit it, I don't think many people will donate without something in return. It's not that people are selgiraffe, it's that this isn't a life and death situation so some people might not feel compelled to help. Ya know?

Yeah, I mean, with, say, a $300 minimum donation, will you get laid?  Or, at least, is it tax deductible?

Otherwise, I'd give a few bucks in the name of the poor girl getting some cock.
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Re: pu$$yid, or, FREE pu$$y!
« Reply #14 on: January 19, 2006, 01:34:45 am »

This is for you Miles because you shouldn't always be the sick fuck.  I think what my tender young internet offspring is saying is... as pleasurable as it is, he's tired of always having to hit it in the butt.

Am I reading this right son?

~Paul
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