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[miles]

And Vegas, as already mentioned, is an easy drive.

It's actually probably 6 or 7 hours away, so if you're going for Vegas, don't go.

[Lister]

Weird.  It's only about 50 more miles to vegas from there than it is from where I am, but Google estimates two more hours to drive it.

Does Utah have a slowificator?  Or maybe a moseytron?

[Bozack]

Does Utah have a slowificator?  Or maybe a moseytron?

GOOD NEWS, EVERYONE!

[arkabee]

Not exactly Miami

this one time for some reason i decided to help this girl i had been meeting every friday night
for coffee that i knew from community college move from TN to Salt Lake City.  I ended up
taking a bus from Salt Lake to Sacremento to visit California and some weird people i knew
from the internet, so the drive to Salt Lake with a girl who apparently never understood that
i was attempting to date wasn't as sad as it could otherwise have been.

Other than the car breaking down on the giant uphill-curving-to-the-right section of the
interstate directly outside of denver, i will always remember burning the crap out of my
arm as i drove the car in the midday sun in that eastern part of Utah.

It was breathtakingly beautiful, that section of Interstate scenery that would appear to be
to the South of where you are headed. 

So, enjoy the view.  It's gorgeous.

And, the whole elevation thing apparently is real, so use sunscreen.

[pmcd9]

Mormons are Fat.

~Paul

[acoxcae]

Mormons are Fat.

~Paul

Of course they are, they've got like 10 wives cooking them dinner every night.

Sorry!

[Carlos del Vaca]

Utah has the highest per capita consumption of marshmallows of any state in the US.

Can't drink, can't have caffeine, can't do much else that's fun... might as well eat.

[lprkn]

I remember reading in Time or something a few years ago that Mormons have a higher average income than other religions. (Probably true as long as you don't count Scientologists)

[miles]

It was probably from a mormon.

Not that it necessarily wasn't true, mormons just like to tout this kind of stuff.

[lprkn]

Oh, necessarily.

They like to tell you that stuff, but if the Mormon population of my hometown is indicative of the overall state of the LDS church, they're just as enthusiastic about their faith as your average Catholic. (Just with less guilt)

[AlohaDawg]

They are pretty enthusiastic about it here. Probably because we have a BYU out here.

I was listening on the radio to an interview about a book written by an ex-bishop of the LDS Church who has written a book which basically accuses the religion of being a hoax due to scientific proof that a bunch of the foundational beliefs (i.e. that Polynesians and Native Americans are the remnants of a tribe of Israel) simply aren't true.

It makes their version of baby Jesus cry.

[pmcd9]

Sorry to bore you guys with this, but you'll have to bear with me.  I'm kinda looking to the past right now, but i'll be looking forward soon.  I leave for Utah tomorrow morning.  My bags are packed and I am ready to go.  All of my goodbyes have been said, and it's just a matter of a few hours before I head out.

Continuing what I started here.  No disection of my past would be complete unless it includes this guy.  That's my good freind Gerald.  I've known Gerald since I was about 7 years old.  He is responsible for turning me on to comic books, marijuana, beer, etc., etc.  We've even been in jail together.  He's the only friend from my drug and drink days that I still am in contact with.  He's still a heavy drinker though and it's starting to take it's toll on him.  Sometimes he'll call me when he's had a few too many and I won't understand a thing he's saying.  When he's fucked up he starts to sound a lot like Dale Gribble.  I haven't talked to him in a while however, in fact he doesn't know i'm moving away.  I think i'll give him a call tomorrow.  Also in the picture is Shelly, a girl I lived with for a brief period.  I didn't love her, I was just wasting time, but I was lonely and she was pretty good company.   In the first picture you'll see she's got her arm around another man.  That's Steve, the guy she eventually married.  She was with him before me, but they split up  and that's where I came in.  Apparently she was just wasting her time with me too because she left me to go back with him and they moved to New York together.  There's one other i'd like to show you, Cricket, but i'll be damned if I can find a picture of her.  I know i've got some somewhere, but I can't locate them.  I was stupid in love with her, but she couldn't be true to save her life.  There's also Beth, but I just realized the scanner is already put away.  That relationship had the longest build up, but then was over almost as soon as it started.  I suppose I should mention Lesley who I actually spent the longest amount of time with, but that was not so long ago in the past so i'm not feeling quite nostalgic about her just yet.  There is one last one, my friend Kelly from Seattle, but that's a story yet to be written.

~Paul

[jough]

Bon voyage and godspeed, Paul.  May you continue to meet and padoodle interesting women and men on your many adventures.

[Golfhaus]

What have we learned today, kids?

Paul gets hell of women.

[wombat]

  I was stupid in love with her, but she couldn't be true to save her life.

Oh, this is the saddest thing.