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[drew]

Did the first-person views of the contents of the tent give anyone else the feeling they were in a RPG like Kings Quest?


\\You enter the tent

\look Around.

\\Inside the dimly lit tent there is a flimsy card table and a single chair. On top of the table there is a SafeWay Roast Turkey, a bottle of cheap brandy and a spork. On the floor, there lies a piece of paper.

\look at the paper

\\It is a receipt from Safeway. Good Deal on Turkey!

\Fuck Turkey

\\I don't think that's what it is for...

P.S Thanks for the tiny can of DP, whom ever it was that bestowed it.

[robot_god]

I just woke up from a four hour nap in which I actually dreamt about eating a whole Boston Market turkey with a spork.  The food was distributed from a U-boat (like a wherehouse shopping cart) and I was disapointed to find that I was to go without mashed potatoes while some chick got one of those styrofoam containers the size of a bowl, full of potatoes and gravy.  I proceded to eat it on a desk outside of my third grade teacher's class (Ms. DiGruccio) while accompanied by an old friend who I see maybe three times every two months.

Later, I played a video game that was like a sequel of Mario 64 in an oddly lit room.  The game was pretty detailed, I played only one level repeatedly, but it was a pretty diverse level.  One area of the level involved skiing along water in a gondola and somehow that segued into me effing around with these thin metal skis that traversed carpet like a snowboard, indoors.  I have never before skied or snowboarded.  Then my alarm rang and I snooze alarmed for two hours until Dire Strait's "Money For Nothing" came on.  I had to listen to it because I haven't heard it in like a year.

[theinevitable]

mann.
so, I signed up to help the local newspaper with this online thing.
it's like... a collecter of RSS feeds. and I put achewood on there.
and these classmates of mine are sitting there staring at me
and the charlotte observer guy keeps asking for more detail, for some reason. "is it just a few characters? is it in any newspapers? what is it about, in general?"
and this lady is just taking furious notes

and I really really wanted to say it was about a cat who rips people's faces off, and then eats safeway turkeys.
but I didn't.

and I'm just imagining getting the next issue of Southpark Magazine (it's a magazine basically based on a rich area of charlotte. I dont know what it's ever about... but southpark is "that rich neighborhood with the nice mall". the magazine is owned by the same company as the newspaper) and having a picture of me, and a comment about being obsessed with an online comic about alive stuffed animals.


also: tryptophan in turkey is a myth. the amount actually present wouldn't have any effect on your sleeping. the reason you sleep after eating thanksgiving dinner is that you just ate a huge amount of very filling food.

[Immortal]

Somebody must have gone several hours out of their way to get this meal considering there are no Safeways in Bakersfield (looks like there used to be one) ... I don't know if there are even any left in California for that matter.  Perhaps Safeway is an affilate of the GOF from long ago in the before time and they are still providing the catering?

there are no Safeways in California, true... but the Safeway company owns Vons in Southern California and Nevada, Carrs in Alaska, Genuardi's in Philadelphia, and Randall's/Tom Thumb in Texas. While most of the stores are under their previously-known name, I think that some do use the Safeway name.

education.

incidentally, there are seven Vons stores in bakersfield, california

[CortJstr]

also: tryptophan in turkey is a myth. the amount actually present wouldn't have any effect on your sleeping. the reason you sleep after eating thanksgiving dinner is that you just ate a huge amount of very filling food.

If you eat your weight in buttered foodstuffs you're going to feel a bit nappish. Turkey or no turkey.

[mrchee]

there are no Safeways in California, true... but the Safeway company owns Vons in Southern California and Nevada, Carrs in Alaska, Genuardi's in Philadelphia, and Randall's/Tom Thumb in Texas. While most of the stores are under their previously-known name, I think that some do use the Safeway name.

education.

incidentally, there are seven Vons stores in bakersfield, california

There are indeed Safeways in California, although there are many more Vons stores.  I live in San Diego, before anyone asks.

[pmcd9]

There used to be Safeway in Texas, Houston at least.  Suddenly they turned into Appletree, then just as suddenly went out of business.  The one I infrequently shopped at is now a 24 hour fitness that I also infrequently use.

~Paul

[Drastic Action]

I live in new jersey, and I've never seen a safeway.  I just assumed it was some kind of convenience store with a name that does not make me want to buy turkeys.  Basically, if you can buy medicine at a given store, you might think twice about their culinary focus.

I'd be surprised if he even eats it, actually.

[L.J. Anonymous]

There are indeed Safeways in California, although there are many more Vons stores.  I live in San Diego, before anyone asks.

Where are these Safeways located ?  I'd like to know their going rate on a pound of turkey ....

According to wikipedia, the last ones in CA were in Fresno and had been bought out in the mid 90's.  And we all know wikipedia is never wrong.

[sOOp]

There are indeed Safeways in California, although there are many more Vons stores.  I live in San Diego, before anyone asks.

There were Safeways in San Diego in the 70s up until the early 80s if I can remember correctly. I know there are still Safeways in SF.

[CortJstr]

There's a bunch in the DC area but I've never seen turkey in that form, just chicken. But maybe I just don't look hard enough

[jough]

Genuardi's in the Philly area used to be awesome - they were family owned and had a great produce department, good meats, specialty items like dried porccini mushrooms, etc.

Then they got bought out by Safeway and immediately sucked.  Everything that was good about them died that day, my friends.  Died died died.

[littlefox]

There might be a Safeway in the Underground, though.
I'm not sure how extensive an underground there'd be for Bakersfield, but whatever. Most of the restaurants that Beef and Molly say they go to in the blogs don't exist at all, so I figure Chris just makes stuff up and throws in a few real restaurants based on what works. It was artistically significant to have the Turkey be from Safeway. ::nods importantly::

It seems like eating turkey with a spork would be kind of difficult. Maybe if you had a knife too.

Also the No-Doz indicates that there is no sleeping allowed over the course of the three days. Everyone goes insaaaannnne.

[pmcd9]

No one has mentioned the fact that there isn't any No Doze in the tent.  Was the No Doze intened for Ray?  Was the reciept just a discard from the delivery or was it meant for Ray to see it?  No Doze will keep you awake, but you'll be too jittery to be very effective.  I can't believe how great this story is.  Dare I say it, it's Wil Eisner great.

~Paul

[jough]

Paul, people did mention that the bird is likely stuffed with the No-Doz.