The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Man Pat you don't gotta talk to me like they teach you in that class for people with too much anger.

Pages: 1 [2] 3   Go Down

Author Topic: Man Forced to Marry Goat  (Read 6686 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

V-Adore

  • Guest
Re: Man Forced to Marry Goat
« Reply #15 on: March 09, 2006, 10:36:56 pm »
Wow, it's like our very own li'l freakshow. Watch as the thread CRAWLS UP ITS OWN ASSHOLE! In GLORIOUS SKEL-O-RAMA!

On the off-topic topic: I distinctly remember, as an elementary-school kid, asking my father why Texas was considered to be part of the Old West when it was basically in the south central area of the country. This is how I first learned the concept of cultural geography. Education!
Logged

miles

  • Stinkfist
  • VIP
  • Ocular Shenanigans
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 10030
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 3476
    • View Profile
    • Last.fm
Re: Man Forced to Marry Goat
« Reply #16 on: March 11, 2006, 03:31:25 pm »
Quote from: pmcd9 on March 09, 2006, 04:46:37 pm
He used it as his wife.

Which, apparently, in the Sudan, means he used it as his cumbucket.

Wait, are people not using the definite article anymore?  Better cover my ass here, as I've seen both in this thread.

Which, apparently, in Sudan, means he used it as his cumbucket.
Logged
Order is indeed the dream of man, but chaos, which is only another word for dumb, blind, witless chance, is still the law of nature. - Wallace Stegner

Limmo

  • roast beef (the middle cat)
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 40
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1166
    • View Profile
Re: Man Forced to Marry Goat
« Reply #17 on: March 11, 2006, 04:16:43 pm »
Education.
Logged

theinevitable

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 486
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12139
    • View Profile
    • tweet tweet fun fun
Re: Man Forced to Marry Goat
« Reply #18 on: March 11, 2006, 05:10:44 pm »
wow.
I didn't even think about the implications for Sudanese women.

They are no better than a fuck-goat.
Logged
Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

theinevitable

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 486
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12139
    • View Profile
    • tweet tweet fun fun
Re: Man Forced to Marry Goat
« Reply #19 on: March 11, 2006, 06:56:42 pm »
ok, ok,
so this missionary has been living in (it's supposed to just be africa, but let's say Sudan) for years. This tribal chief comes to him and says: "we're very upset with you. Here you are, teaching us about your supposed christian morality, and my neighbor's wife just had a white baby with blonde hair."
the missionary says: no, my friend, that is what you call an Albino. Have you ever seen a black goat among your white flock? It is the same way. Sometimes it just happens.



the chief says: ok, ok. I won't say anything about the white child, if you don't say anything about the black goat.
Logged
Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

Nabubrush

  • Nightlife Mingus
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 448
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 8782
  • The cat wonders if the camera is a foodstuff.
    • View Profile
    • Intonarumoron
Re: Man Forced to Marry Goat
« Reply #20 on: March 11, 2006, 07:33:30 pm »
Quote from: theinevitable on March 11, 2006, 06:56:42 pm
ok, ok,
so this missionary has been living in (it's supposed to just be africa, but let's say Sudan) for years. This tribal chief comes to him and says: "we're very upset with you. Here you are, teaching us about your supposed christian morality, and my neighbor's wife just had a white baby with blonde hair."
the missionary says: no, my friend, that is what you call an Albino. Have you ever seen a black goat among your white flock? It is the same way. Sometimes it just happens.



the chief says: ok, ok. I won't say anything about the white child, if you don't say anything about the black goat.

So this happened to "the chief", eh? Suuuuuuuuure it did.
Logged
Never feel that you're out of the loop, because the loop is you. - Platon

pmcd9

  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 608
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12778
  • The Kid is up to no good
    • View Profile
Re: Man Forced to Marry Goat
« Reply #21 on: March 13, 2006, 02:44:38 pm »
Quote from: miles on March 11, 2006, 03:31:25 pm
used it as his cumbucket.

Dude, cumbucket is so crude.  Say jizz jar, it's much more proper.

~Paul
Logged
I hope I never have to refer to a scone in spoken conversation.

wombat

  • English-Speaking Pizza
  • Moderator
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 644
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12493
  • Yeah man, these are pugs, not some fuck*ng lolcat.
    • View Profile
Re: Man Forced to Marry Goat
« Reply #22 on: March 13, 2006, 03:27:04 pm »
Quote from: pmcd9 on March 13, 2006, 02:44:38 pm
Say jizz jar, it's much more proper.


Aw jeez, here we go with the language prescriptivists again.  ;)
Logged
What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

side_show

  • Sweet Fancy Moses
  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 501
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 6487
    • View Profile
Re: Man Forced to Marry Goat
« Reply #23 on: March 13, 2006, 03:28:11 pm »
Off topic:  True story: I was working customer service for a bank, and hence took calls from all over Canada.  A woman from Toronto was on the phone with me arguing over her credit card bill, and asked my location, and I replied Winnipeg.  She made some crude comment about me being a stupid Westerner, and I explained that I was actually from the middle of the country, to which she replied that I was a Westerner to her, and I responded that being located where she was that the majority of the country is to the West of her.  Even though I said this all in a very calm, conversational tone, it angered her deeply.  Probably because she knew there was nothing I could do about her overdue bill other than telling her to pay it.

On topic:  I am glad that I do not live in a country that would force me to marry my shower sprayer.

Logged
Abuse of power comes as no surprise.

Nabubrush

  • Nightlife Mingus
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 448
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 8782
  • The cat wonders if the camera is a foodstuff.
    • View Profile
    • Intonarumoron
Re: Man Forced to Marry Goat
« Reply #24 on: March 13, 2006, 03:29:28 pm »
Quote from: side_show on March 13, 2006, 03:28:11 pm
On topic:  I am glad that I do not live in a country that would force me to marry my shower sprayer.


No, but if you use my shower sprayer, there'll be nuptials.
Logged
Never feel that you're out of the loop, because the loop is you. - Platon

pmcd9

  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 608
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12778
  • The Kid is up to no good
    • View Profile
Re: Man Forced to Marry Goat
« Reply #25 on: March 13, 2006, 03:30:43 pm »
Quote from: side_show on March 13, 2006, 03:28:11 pm
On topic:  I am glad that I do not live in a country that would force me to marry my shower sprayer.

I'm surprised Rick Santorium hasn't tried to outlaw that.

~Paul
Logged
I hope I never have to refer to a scone in spoken conversation.

wombat

  • English-Speaking Pizza
  • Moderator
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 644
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12493
  • Yeah man, these are pugs, not some fuck*ng lolcat.
    • View Profile
Re: Man Forced to Marry Goat
« Reply #26 on: March 13, 2006, 05:08:54 pm »
Quote from: Nabubrush drinks (a lot) on March 13, 2006, 03:29:28 pm
No, but if you use my shower sprayer, there'll be nuptials.

Hell with that, you people are not even allowed to date my shower sprayer. I know what youall are like.
Logged
What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

Bozack

  • Most Melancholy of Batmen
  • Moderator
  • Onstad's Left Shoe
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 10
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1651
  • stop this car, i'm getting out
    • View Profile
Re: Man Forced to Marry Goat
« Reply #27 on: March 13, 2006, 08:35:03 pm »
Quote from: side_show on March 13, 2006, 03:28:11 pm
On topic:  I am glad that I do not live in a country that would force me to marry my shower sprayer.

HOWDY! I'm an innocent young man from a podunk town who's just moved to the BIGGGG city! And, as such, it took me a minute to figure out what that meant! Then I was like, ohhh, you guys!
Logged
Hey, things are going okay now!

theinevitable

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 486
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12139
    • View Profile
    • tweet tweet fun fun
Re: Man Forced to Marry Goat
« Reply #28 on: March 13, 2006, 09:05:52 pm »
man...
if Rick Santorum knew about that, he would be so mad at his wife.
she said she needed it for a back problem.
Logged
Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

V-Adore

  • Guest
Re: Man Forced to Marry Goat
« Reply #29 on: March 14, 2006, 01:34:17 am »
Quote from: theinevitable on March 13, 2006, 09:05:52 pm
man...
if Rick Santorum knew about that, he would be so mad at his wife.
she said she needed it for a back problem.

I hear that, whenever Mrs. Santorum sees an Herbal Essences commercial, she spreads her legs and thinks of England!
Logged
Pages: 1 [2] 3   Go Up
« previous next »