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[slink]

When it comes to family pressure, even your closest family members only see you from the outside, and probably when you're putting on your best face so as not to make them worry for you - they can't possibly be aware of what it's like to live in your body. 

Wow. Yes. Exactly! My friends will try to get me to talk about things that are bothering me, and I try to explain, but it never gets across what it is actually like. Exactly as you describe. I don't really like to admit the worst things I experience, which probably has adverse effects on both people understanding the problems, and on the help I can receive in the first place.

If they have a personal preference for your current doctor, then don't talk about your current doctor, talk about the state your in, and your desire to investigate all your options for getting well.  It's perfectly resonable and normal to get a second opinion, and if you tell your family this without taking it to a personal level, hopefully they'll understand.

The strange thing is, both my mother and father who go to the same doctor hate him just as much as I do. I did, spurred on by this discussion, talk with them about my changing  doctors yet again, and this time they get it. So I will try and go and see a professional for the first time in god knows how long when I get back from Canada. At last! What I think is worst about my animosity towards my doctor is that not only have I realised how much better off I could be if I had been seeing someone who understands, but I tried to talk with him about my relationship breaking down long, long ago, and got nowhere. And it proceeded to fall apart. And that's something that still really, really bothers me. I really had not realised this until a couple of weeks back though, so at least it's not why I hate him.
As I say, as far as the specialist telling me it was a temporary affliction, well, it's tricky now as I say, since physically I appear to be making headway. As far as self administered CBT though...

[side_show]

Yay! This is good news Slink. 

It's good that your folks get it.  I think older generations have a tendancy to believe doctors are gods.  My parents are of the school that even if you don't like a doctor, they know better than you do (even though it's your own damn body) so you better do what they say.  Personally, I think that as an empowered patient, I get better care.

[jough]

I think I am replying to things that are in multiple threads here, but Slink, for certain you have to get a doctor you are comfortable with and trust.  He/she must listen to you and take what you say seriously.  And be able to recommend a specialist when necessary without seeming like he's just passing you off to someone else.

I like to think that my health care is a collaborative effort between me and the doctor, and that we should be working together as a team.  He can run tests and examine me and tell me things about my body that I do not know, but I can also tell him things about it that he doesn't (or can't) know.  A good doctor will listen, ask questions, offer advice, and pay attention to what you're telling him.

I haven't really found a good doctor yet myself.  Maybe it's just the local scene, but they seem to be especially aloof in Philadelphia.  Like when you speak to them they're not really listening and often will answer questions other than the one you asked them.

[pmcd9]

I haven't really found a good doctor yet myself.  Maybe it's just the local scene, but they seem to be especially aloof in Philadelphia.  Like when you speak to them they're not really listening and often will answer questions other than the one you asked them.

I've never had a good doctor.  I think good doctors cost more than I can afford or something.

How's that old joke go?  What do you call the person who graduated last in his class at medical school?

~Paul

[AugustWest]

I feel very lucky in that regard.  Right now I have the best GP I've ever had.  I can't get out of his office without a fifteen minute conversation.  He listens, asks questions and is genuinely concerned.  Also, he seems like a pretty nice guy.  His office is also cool because if you show up before 9 am, they will see you, appointment or no.

[pmcd9]

I feel very lucky in that regard.  Right now I have the best GP I've ever had.  I can't get out of his office without a fifteen minute conversation.  He listens, asks questions and is genuinely concerned.  Also, he seems like a pretty nice guy.  His office is also cool because if you show up before 9 am, they will see you, appointment or no.

I'm just fortunatte that I have had extremely good health my entire life.  Most of my trips to the doctor have been due to injury rather than illness.

~Paul

[Drygioni]

I'm just fortunatte that I have had extremely good health my entire life.  Most of my trips to the doctor have been due to injury rather than illness.

~Paul

There's a story behind this I haven't heard.

Tell us, Uncle Paul!

[jough]

August - you live in a small town, though.  That doesn't count.  You probably know your doctor personally, and have him over for barbeque or something.

[wombat]

I live in a big city though and I had a great doctor for the last ten years.  She listened and she always asked about the latest chapter in my job search and actually remembered my recurring problems and so on. 

Unfortunately, she just decided to leave her practice and take a management job at a hospital.  And other doctors I've mentioned this to automatically say "Oh, she couldn't stand all the insurance rules and paperwork and everything anymore."  They don't know her - the assumption just seems to be that no one can stand to be a doctor under the current system, so that has to be the reason.

[slink]

August - you live in a small town, though.  That doesn't count.  You probably know your doctor personally, and have him over for barbeque or something.

Has to be said, the doctor I would choose now to go and see is the father of an old friend of mine. Possibly just goes to make him seem more human at least...

[pmcd9]

There's a story behind this I haven't heard.

Tell us, Uncle Paul!

Oh that was just a run of the mill chainsaw mishap from a few years back.

~Paul

[Jeepers]

weekly-ish update...

Things been basically good. Been shying away from drinks almost altogether, been eating like a king who eats sensibly, and the smoking.... ermm, well there's progress to be made there.

I am having a problem with the smoking, because all my friends smoke, and I end up in social situations daily which almost require me to smoke. SO... I'm going to get out of my element. I bought a plane ticket to China, and I leave tomorrow. (not to quit smoking, it's because I've never seen China) I'll be there for 10 days roaming the countryside and having adventures.

a hopefull side effect of this trip is that with 90% of my smoking triggers thousands of miles away, hopefully I will bring this beast under control while maintaining my sanity.

I will post pictures, if any of you care to see them.

also, thanks all for being so awesome. I feel like I don't post nearly enough to feel as "at home" as I do here, but I do anyhow. I think it's because I average 30 minutes of reading posts for every one post I make, so naturally I know you all better than you know me. I will make a better effort to be a good dude when I return.

also also, I know this is rambling, but I'm attempting to fill myself with caffeine to stay up all night so that I'll sleep on the plane the whole way.

THANK YOU GOOD NIGHT WE LOVE YOU MILWAUKEE

[Doc]

Go to China.
Best way to quit smoking ever.

[AugustWest]

Except, from what I've read, they smoke like fiends in China.

Also, I'm jealous.  I want to go to China.

[side_show]

Jeepers, you kick ass.  That is basically how Ray would solve a problem.  "I need to quite smoking.  What is the most financially extravagant and off the wall way to solve this problem?  China!"