Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Listen, I've been duped by "English-speaking" pizza places before.

Pages: [1] 2 3 4   Go Down

Author Topic: Greek Festival  (Read 9105 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

pmcd9

  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 608
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12778
  • The Kid is up to no good
    • View Profile
Greek Festival
« on: July 15, 2006, 12:48:52 pm »

As mentioned I attended the Greek Festival Yesterday.  Here's how it went.  On the way, these two lasses caught my eye.  My car could certainly use a washing and a bunch of teenaged girls with a water hose is always a recipe for fun.  I should have paid closer attention to the sign for it was only a bunch of boys washing the cars as the car wash was a fundraiser for the local boxing club.  The boys did a fine job washing my car though so I have no complaints about the bait and switch.  They had lots of customers too so I'm sure they raised plenty of money to travel to Salt Lake City and get their heads bashed in.

As soon as I got back in my car to drive away I was stung by a wasp.  This wasp actually, who was still very much alive after having stung me.  I was under the impression that the act of stinging a person was a death sentence for a wasp.  Is this an urban legend?  I'm not allergic so it was no big deal really.

After a brief delay to dispatch the wasp I was on my way again.  I arrived at the Greek Church and walked around for a bit.  I ran into my neighbor from two houses down who I only met this week while out walking.  She told me she was a volunteer for the Festival, but being a modest Utahan she didn't mention that she is the principal organizer for the event.  I passed on the silent auction.  Hey I here for the food so I made my way over to the food tent.  Hmmm, what am I gonna have?  Ok, I'll make it easy, I'll take one of everything.  Weight Watchers means never saying your sorry.  Besides, this is Greek Fest, you gotta try everything.  So I got my food and walked back out to the pavilion and found a seat.

I struck up a conversation with this woman and her Father who are former Priceites who came back to town for the Festival.  It turns out that she is a professional photographer who works in Los Angeles.  So naturally I asked her to take my photograph.  However, being a professional photographer in Los Angeles apparently isn't a guarantee you'll get a good photo.  You can take the girl out of Price, but you can't take the Price out of the girl.  Nevermind, I guess she knows something I don't if she's making a living with her photography.

After Dinner and a short wait it was time for the dancing.  I was looking forward to this, but was pretty disappointed.  They were alright for middle school kids, but I guess I'm pretty spoiled by the great dancing I'm used to seeing at the Greek Festival in Houston.

During the dancing my friend Nancy arrived.  Everbody knows Nancy because she's the pastor at the Methodist Church in town.  So we were stopping every five seconds so someone could say hi to her.  Some of her friends seem rather confused where the camera that is taking their picture is located. At least one of them though, I must say, has a really nice pair*.  I also ran into an acquaintance of mine who was a checker at the Smith's Grocery Store where I shop.  We became friends because I said she looked like Mary Tyler Moore circa The Dick Van Dike Show era.  The resemblance was much stronger before she cut her hair.  I wish I had a picture of her wearing that flip style MTM had back then.  Initially she seemed offended that I would compare her to someone so old, but then she went and googled her and realized it was a compliment.  Alas she's left Smith's to become a teacher.  I suppose the children need her more than I.

Somewhere along the line my friend Jarrod called.  He was supposed to be on his way down south to Green River to go canoing with a dude from work.  But on his way home from the office his car broke down and he had to call a tow truck to get it home.  Fortunately it's only a busted radiator hose which he'll be fixing today, but it kept him from Green River.  Naturally he's pretty bummed by all this.  But he knows I'm at the Greek Fest so he asks if I'll come get him.  So Nancy and I go to pick him up.

We get back to the Fest and have dinner.  We are quite a trio us three with Nancy, being a Methodist Minister, Jarrod, a staunch atheist, and me, somewhere in the middle, not sure what the hell happens in the hereafter.  But so what, we get along just fine.  And just for you misterqueue I had the delicious spanakopita (not that I needed the encouragement).

After a brief wait while our dinner settles it's time for the main event the pastry.  Oh yeah it was delicious!.  Lest you think I've totally lost my mind, I only had one bite from each piece.  Jerrod and Nancy ate the rest.  While we enjoyed the pastry we listened to The Grecian Keys which featured a bouzouki player.  I know it's a bouzouki because the dude sounded it out for me, boo-zoo-ki.  I guess he's used to explaining what his instrument is to Utah rednecks.  They were really great (sarcasm).

After that it gets a little strange because Nancy wants me really bad, but I'm not interested.  I think I'm going to have to just straight up tell her that it's not going to happen.  I was hoping that since I'll be leaving town soon it would just play itself out.  But I don't think she understands this and it's getting awkward.  I mean, she's a nice lady and she's more sophisticated than most people you'll meet in Price (She's from Denver), but no.   I'm not about to get it on with a Minister and that's that.  Also, and you can call me sexist and hypocritical, but she's just too large.  I'm sorry.

Oh yeah, there's one other thing, Side Show, there was no taramasalata on the menu.  I asked almost 7 Utah Greek ladies about this, I even had it written on a paper, and still nobody had heard of it.  Finally I found one old lady who knew what I was talking about, but I think she may have been senile.  When I get back to civilization I'll find and have this dish.

It was a great day.


~Paul

*Pink Floyd/Syd Barrett reference
Logged
I hope I never have to refer to a scone in spoken conversation.

jough

  • God's Own Dick
  • Administrator
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 948
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 6871
  • If you've got the time, we've got El Guapo.
    • View Profile
    • poetry archives
Re: Greek Festival
« Reply #1 on: July 15, 2006, 01:06:21 pm »

As ever, Paul, these photoessays are a thing of beauty to behold.  It looks like you had a nice time at the local Greek festival. I am always impressed by the time and effort that you put in to put together these photos and essays for essentially like 20 people to read.

I hope you're at least cross-posting this stuff elsewhere.

Drygioni

  • formerly Judy
  • VIP
  • Onstad's Left Shoe
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 194
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1796
    • View Profile
    • FACEBOOK
Re: Greek Festival
« Reply #2 on: July 15, 2006, 01:44:47 pm »

I was under the impression that the act of stinging a person was a death sentence for a wasp.  Is this an urban legend?  I'm not allergic so it was no big deal really.

~Paul

It is bees that die when they sting you. They tear themselves inside out or something. Lovely!

After a brief delay to dispatch the wasp I was on my way again.

~Paul

A short sentence containing a lot of incident.

As usual Paul, I am amazed at both the photos and the writing. Top man!
Logged
I am sorry for my behaviour last night.

wombat

  • English-Speaking Pizza
  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 644
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12493
  • Yeah man, these are pugs, not some fuck*ng lolcat.
    • View Profile
Re: Greek Festival
« Reply #3 on: July 15, 2006, 02:12:28 pm »

Extra cheese and olives please!
Logged
What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

AugustWest

  • Over Easy
  • Philosopher King
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 774
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 10549
  • Bulbous, also tapered.
    • View Profile
Re: Greek Festival
« Reply #4 on: July 15, 2006, 02:38:53 pm »

Wow, who knew that Billy Bob Thornton had a daughter who was a Professional Photographer.
Logged
Infinitely vast, infinitely detailed.

side_show

  • Sweet Fancy Moses
  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 501
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 6487
    • View Profile
Re: Greek Festival
« Reply #5 on: July 15, 2006, 04:20:18 pm »

Awesome post Paul.  I'm surprised that people you've just met are willing to be photographed, or to photograph you.  You must be a total charmer!

After that it gets a little strange because Nancy wants me really bad, but I'm not interested.  I think I'm going to have to just straight up tell her that it's not going to happen.  I was hoping that since I'll be leaving town soon it would just play itself out.  But I don't think she understands this and it's getting awkward.  I mean, she's a nice lady and she's more sophisticated than most people you'll meet in Price (She's from Denver), but no.   I'm not about to get it on with a Minister and that's that.  Also, and you can call me sexist and hypocritical, but she's just too large.  I'm sorry.

How do you say in Minister-eese "I love you baby, but I'm not in love with you?"  Basically, you are kind enough to figure this one out on your own.  I don't think it's hypocritical or sexist to not be attracted to a certain body type.  If a very fit man was attracted to your friend, would anyone call him a hypocrite? On the opposite side of the discussion though, I could list off the specific visual cues that I find attractive/arousing, yet both the people I have been most emotionally "in love" with fit none of those characteristics - it is important to be open to all the possibilities.  I'm guessing, since you've been friends with Nancy for a while now, that you would have already figured out if there was something more there or not though.

Oh yeah, there's one other thing, Side Show, there was no taramasalata on the menu.  I asked almost 7 Utah Greek ladies about this, I even had it written on a paper, and still nobody had heard of it.  Finally I found one old lady who knew what I was talking about, but I think she may have been senile.  When I get back to civilization I'll find and have this dish.

It's very cute of you to actually write it down.  To further explain:  taramasalata is basically the richest Greek food you can order.  It is a delicious, thick, creamy, flavorful dip/spread eaten on pita bread.  It's so odd that no one knew what it was, since every Greek restaurant here serves it (with the exception of late winter, when the main ingredient is out of season, and may not be shipping in from Greece quite as regularly) I basically would never have eaten it had I known what was in it, but I was out with friends years ago, and a good friend of mine ordered it to share with me while I was in the bathroom.  She basically wouldn't tell me (or anyone else at the table) what was in it until we'd all eaten some (which was pretty wise, because after I now know what's in it, I still can't understand how the ingredients end up tasting like they do when combined).  Everyone at the table tried it and agreed it was delicious.  We ate it up, none of us guessing what the main ingredient is. Then she told us the ingredients and we were shocked and confused.  Indeed, even now that I know how it's made I still can't equate the flavor with what's in it.

Basically, tricking people into eating taramasalata has become my gig.  I've never had anyone try it and not like it.  Last year my SO and I were invited to a pre-Christmas Greek-Food-Themed party out in the country.  So the night before, I went to the local Greek market and got some freshly prepared taramasalata, along with some nice wedges of pita bread.  The next day we bundled up, hopped into our truck and drove to the city limits, where a massive snow squall met us.  With blowing snow and visability at less than 3 ft, we turned back, just as the radio announced that the highway had been closed due to low visibility.  Now because of the party out of town, we were missing another smaller get-together in the city with my parents at my maternal grandfather's house.  Since we had this huge platter of extremely rich food that wouldn't keep and would basically make us sick if the two of us just ate it alone, we decided to take the taramasalata and go to this other get-together.  (I once made the mistake of ordering taramasalata to eat by myself, and because it's so very rich, I got kind of ill from eating it)  My grandfather, his wife, my mother and my SO and I are not picky eaters, but my dad is the pickiest of the picky.  So I did the whole - "Try some first, then I'll tell you what's in it" routine and everyone but my dad dug in.  After everyone was exclaiming with pleasure that it was totally delicious, my dad tried some and started gobbling it up with everyone.  Everyone was trying to guess what was in it, but no one was getting it right - not even close.  After everyone was totally full and finished eating, I finally told them what was in it.  Everyone was shocked because, as I had experienced, it doesn't taste at all like you'd think it would.

Since you can easily google it and find out what's in it I'll tell you what's in it, but I remind everyone that no one I've ever eaten it with thinks there's anything giraffey in it until they know it's got caviar in it:

ta·ra·ma·sa·la·ta (tä'rä-mä-sä-lä'tä)  or ta·ra·mo·sa·la·ta (-mō-) - locally it's usually pronounce the second way - is a paste of giraffe roe (tarama), olive oil, lemon juice, and potatoes. 

It looks like a pinkish, or pale orange-ish penis or spread when served.  Some places replace the potatoes with/additionally add heavy cream, making it more of a dip, other places replace the potatoes with moistened bread crumbs or chunks of bread, which, when throughly mixed, break down along with the caviar (or so I've read - I've never had a bread based version of this dish).  Like I said, it's not at all giraffey, nor is it the texture of mashed potatoes - it's actually very, very creamy, which I suppose it what you get when you mix caviar with potatoes and high quality olive oil.  No one ever detects any giraffeiness.  Most people have guessed that there's cream or cheese or butter in it because of it's extremely rich and difficult to pin down flavor.  It's the most fascinating culinary experience I've ever had.  Since I tried it back before the sushi crazy hit North America, it was actually the first time I'd had caviar/roe in any form.

I highly recommend it to everyone.



Logged
Abuse of power comes as no surprise.

wombat

  • English-Speaking Pizza
  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 644
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12493
  • Yeah man, these are pugs, not some fuck*ng lolcat.
    • View Profile
Re: Greek Festival
« Reply #6 on: July 15, 2006, 07:07:38 pm »

I am extremely mystified that Paul could only find one old lady who even knew what taramasalata was.  But maybe it's just that once you get to Utah you are very far away from your Greek roots.
Logged
What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

linnea

  • VIP
  • Ocular Shenanigans
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 168
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 3332
    • View Profile
Re: Greek Festival
« Reply #7 on: July 15, 2006, 08:51:44 pm »

Man, the photoessay was really fun to read. I agree with jough, I hope that you can post this elsewhere like on your blog or something so that other people can enjoy it.
Logged

misterqueue

  • Sick Fuck
  • VIP
  • R I S O T T O ?
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 25
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 2011
  • I can do anything I want. And so can you.
    • View Profile
    • A Reason for Diseasin'
Re: Greek Festival
« Reply #8 on: July 15, 2006, 09:27:11 pm »

Paul, I am so very pleased to see you enjoying your spanakopita.  There's a place around here that's been there forever which makes them so delightfully that they sort of melt in your mouth.

It looks like you had a good time all around.  You truly deserve the moniker "Captain Funtime"!
Logged
So it's satire, is it?  Well that changes everything!

Lockjaw is serious times.

linnea

  • VIP
  • Ocular Shenanigans
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 168
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 3332
    • View Profile
Re: Greek Festival
« Reply #9 on: July 15, 2006, 10:09:12 pm »

Spanikopita is so delicious. There is a family of angry Greeks here that have a restaurant, I should go see if they make spanikopita.
Logged

pmcd9

  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 608
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12778
  • The Kid is up to no good
    • View Profile
Re: Greek Festival
« Reply #10 on: July 15, 2006, 11:12:19 pm »

ta·ra·ma·sa·la·ta (tä'rä-mä-sä-lä'tä)  or ta·ra·mo·sa·la·ta (-mō-) - locally it's usually pronounce the second way - is a paste of giraffe roe (tarama), olive oil, lemon juice, and potatoes.

The old lady knew that it was giraffe paste so maybe she wasn't senile after all.

It's very cute of you to actually write it down.

Cute = Creepy

You must be a total charmer!

Well I don't know about that, you left me sat on the porch to be eaten by wolves.

~Paul

Logged
I hope I never have to refer to a scone in spoken conversation.

pmcd9

  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 608
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12778
  • The Kid is up to no good
    • View Profile
Re: Greek Festival
« Reply #11 on: July 15, 2006, 11:14:15 pm »

I am always impressed by the time and effort that you put in to put together these photos and essays for essentially like 20 people to read.

20 people, that's all?  Fuck it, i'm done.

I hope you're at least cross-posting this stuff elsewhere.

Sometimes.

~Paul
Logged
I hope I never have to refer to a scone in spoken conversation.

pmcd9

  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 608
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12778
  • The Kid is up to no good
    • View Profile
Re: Greek Festival
« Reply #12 on: July 15, 2006, 11:15:55 pm »

I am extremely mystified that Paul could only find one old lady who even knew what taramasalata was.

Well I may have prevaricated slightly, there were actually two old ladies that knew about the taramasalata.  I created a composite character.

~Paul
Logged
I hope I never have to refer to a scone in spoken conversation.

side_show

  • Sweet Fancy Moses
  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 501
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 6487
    • View Profile
Re: Greek Festival
« Reply #13 on: July 15, 2006, 11:31:08 pm »

No!  Paul, you can't mix two kinds of senile together!  Didn't you ever take chemistry?!
Logged
Abuse of power comes as no surprise.

wombat

  • English-Speaking Pizza
  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 644
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12493
  • Yeah man, these are pugs, not some fuck*ng lolcat.
    • View Profile
Re: Greek Festival
« Reply #14 on: July 15, 2006, 11:54:10 pm »

Well I may have prevaricated slightly, there were actually two old ladies that knew about the taramasalata.  I created a composite character.

~Paul

Dang, I knew Paul's life had to be fiction, it just sounded too good to be true.
Logged
What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc
Pages: [1] 2 3 4   Go Up