I curse you all! We are out of eggs, and I'm starving!
As punishment, my Dissertation on the Egg:
I love soft-cooked eggs. Truly, the combination of crispy, thick toast with butter, and gooey golden yolk is proof that there is a God, and He loves to eat. My mom used to make me a poached egg and toast whenever I was down sick with the flu, and so I guess it's got a strong association with comfort and nurturing for me. Also, I tend to go hypoglycemic a lot and when my blood sugar tanks to the point where the very thought of food makes me barf, about the only thing that I can tolerate is a scrambled-egg sandwich on whole-wheat bread with mayo (real mayo, not that horrible abomination known as Miracle Whip *shudder*). Again, eggs=comfort in my mind.
I will eat eggs in almost any form, although I prefer soft-cooked to hard. About the only way I can eat hard-cooked eggs is if they're hard-boiled or scrambled/in an omelette or fritatta. And of course, the wonderful bliss that is quiche: spinach, high-quality bacon, gruyere, caramelized onion... *sigh* 'Tis divine. I will, however, only eat free-range organic eggs. I definitely notice a taste difference, and for some reason I feel really very sad when I'm at the store and I see the rows upon rows of commercial eggs; I just envision thousands of depressed chickens crammed into tiny cages, made to just lay and lay and lay. Then I look at the rows of free-range eggs and I see these happy chickens with shiny healthy feathers, clucking with satisfaction and scratching away for free-range grubs. The contrast in my mind, and the resulting emotional response, is dramatic, and the free-range eggs make it into my shopping cart despite the extra expense. Worth it in my view. Better yet is when the farmer's market is on. Now
those are some eggs.
A fritatta is a common dinner at our house; generally something we call "Hakuna Fritatta" because it consists of eggs and whatever leftover veggies and meat are in our fridge. It's a good way to get rid of that kind of stuff and still have a relatively healthy meal.
Speaking of health, I thought eggs were decreed to be of the "good" kind of cholesterol? Maybe I was misinformed. It's a shame to not be able to eat them. For those who have been advised to steer clear of eggs for health reasons, my heart goes out to you, truly.
I eat poached eggs quite often, typically for breakfast before a long day of rehearsal. The protein gets me through the day and the work, and being poached, they are relatively low-fat. Just a pinch of fleur de sel and a slice of moderately-buttered whole-wheat toast (but real butter, mind you, unsalted), and I've got an awesome breakfast.
Helpful tips!
You can tell if an egg is fresh by putting it in a bowl of cold water. A fresh egg will sink to the bottom and lie on its side. As the egg gets older, it will be progressively more buoyant, although it should still be edible unless it is completely floating. You'll notice a slight difference in taste relative to the degree to which the egg is buoyant, but unless it's very buoyant or floating completely, you needn't worry about eating a bad egg. Some rules of thumb to guide you: 1. the more buoyant your egg is, the longer you should cook it, just to be safe; 2. "when in doubt, throw out." Hope that helps. :-)
Oh, also, a simple yet tasty egg recipe, similar to slink's Chinese egg pancake thingy. I got this recipe from a dancer friend of mine and she calls them "Dirty Commie (Kami) Bastards":
Scramble some eggs; while they're scrambling, add soy sauce to taste (the recipe was invented using Kami--or Kame?--brand soy sauce, hence the name). When done, top with chopped scallion and a sprinkle of grated parmesan or romano cheese.
Oh, another thing: I always referred to what we are now I guess calling "Titty eggs" as either Toad in the Hole or a Camel's Eye. Or am I confusing this with something else?
Let us not forget that soldiers and dippy eggs figure prominently in
this fine educational program.
I don't know how easy chickens are to raise, but I do know that people raise them here, right in the city (I live in a city of about a quarter-million people that is relatively cosmopolitan for its size). I have seen little cages with one or two chickens in them in peoples' backyards right in the city. So I guess they can't be too high-maintenance.
And finally:
Asherdan, can for "Proto-chicken." And Choop, can because I find your culinary sagesse attractive.

Thank you for listening to my Dissertation on The Egg. I will now go to the store to buy some.