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@achewood Jumping jacks, flinging myself off of low decks, yelling into an empty bottle of carrot juice. Trying to get in writing mode.

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Author Topic: SafeSearch is off - Dec. 04 2006  (Read 10210 times)

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Alternate

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Re: SafeSearch is off - Dec. 04 2006
« Reply #15 on: December 05, 2006, 12:20:53 am »

Hmm... I just did an image search for "denise crosby" to confirm her dad-like appearance, and instead I learned that basically every website on the internet now has pictures of denise crosby naked.  The fact that I searched vainly for such pictures a few years ago indicates that I am remarkably talented at not finding things. 
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Re: SafeSearch is off - Dec. 04 2006
« Reply #16 on: December 05, 2006, 12:49:04 am »

You don't even need to type in naked in the search.  Every picture of Denise Crosby on the internet is naked.
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Re: SafeSearch is off - Dec. 04 2006
« Reply #17 on: December 05, 2006, 02:39:50 am »

The teddy bear wants to see what a girl caveman looks like naked.
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Re: SafeSearch is off - Dec. 04 2006
« Reply #18 on: December 05, 2006, 04:09:09 am »

My attractions along these lines always seem to be to obscure sitcom supporting actresses.
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Re: SafeSearch is off - Dec. 04 2006
« Reply #19 on: December 05, 2006, 07:52:53 am »

From the bottle on the desk, in addition to being an unsuccessful Googler, it appears Teodor is a major lightweight.

I thought that to complete the scene there would be myriad more bottles on the floor, along with an equally bounteous supply of naked yet utterly non-arousing hastily scribbled pencil drawings of Meg White.
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Re: SafeSearch is off - Dec. 04 2006
« Reply #20 on: December 06, 2006, 11:30:17 pm »

Hmm... I just did an image search for "denise crosby" to confirm her dad-like appearance. 

So, what's your conclusion?  Denise after 40 ~= Dennis?
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Re: SafeSearch is off - Dec. 04 2006
« Reply #21 on: December 07, 2006, 02:23:33 am »

The teddy bear wants to see what a girl caveman looks like naked.

So instead of Marmaduke...?

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Re: SafeSearch is off - Dec. 04 2006
« Reply #22 on: December 09, 2006, 09:18:19 pm »

So, what's your conclusion?  Denise after 40 ~= Dennis?

Well, I don't know what Dennis Crosby looks like, and due to my remarkable ability to fail at googling I will never know.  To be honest I kind of forgot about my original quest once I found millions of pictures of Denise Crosby naked, though.  It was actually kind of disillusioning.  Not that she doesn't have a nice body, but... for one thing it's always creepy to see her out of character.  For another, see, when I was a kid I kind of... started a religion based on the premise that Tasha Yar was actually a pan-dimensional mermaid.  So, it's a little sad to see her in a body which is attractive and naked, but nonetheless quite three-dimensional and human. 
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Re: SafeSearch is off - Dec. 04 2006
« Reply #23 on: December 09, 2006, 09:58:33 pm »

Quote from: Alternate
For another, see, when I was a kid I kind of... started a religion based on the premise that Tasha Yar was actually a pan-dimensional mermaid.

Jeez. You totally have me beat.

When *I* was a kid, I kept buying copies of Use Your Illusion 2, hoping that I'd find the golden ticket and be trained as the next Axl Rose when the current one would no longer be able to perform his duties as The Axl... and wrote plays about girls I had crushes on.

You make my childhood dreams seem bland and common. I salute you, Alternate.
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Re: SafeSearch is off - Dec. 04 2006
« Reply #24 on: December 10, 2006, 06:55:35 am »

What the hell is going on here?
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Re: SafeSearch is off - Dec. 04 2006
« Reply #25 on: December 10, 2006, 07:39:46 am »

We're discussing a web comic, and our childhood dreams.  My childhood dreams involved a supernatural Tasha Yar fighting in the French revolution and graphing linear equations, and his involved generalizing a Roald Dahl principle and applying it to Axl Rose. 

LFM:  I give you points for abstraction, and for the surrealism of the Wonka/Axl juxtaposition, assuming I'm right about the pieces you used to assemble this fantasy.  What genre were the plays? 
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Re: SafeSearch is off - Dec. 04 2006
« Reply #26 on: December 10, 2006, 09:36:11 pm »

Quote from: Alternate
LFM: What genre were the plays?

Broadly speaking?

I would call the genre "Kurt Vonnegut and Judy Blume's melodramatic teenage bastard".

Lots of fifteen-year-old-who-thinks-he's-clever touches like... oh... self-aware narrators who realize that when the play ends it is their death, a high school janitor with the backstory of being a Westchester County blueblood and fated to spend his life falling sideways through alternate universes looking for a place where his best friend isn't dead, religion-as-myth analogies toward Gilgamesh/Tiresias/Catholic-relic-mysticism...

Yet grounded by plots of childishly-semi-autobiographical small towns full of old secrets, sensitive nerds who pine after girls whose engines are actually revved by jerks with leather jackets and bass guitars... and above all else... the appropos of nothing talkiness of a young writer over-enamoured with the early-to-mid Nineties slacker-romantic-comedies both of the indie-navel-gazing variety and the Brat-Pack-trying-to-find-adult-roles variety.

Your standard "intellectually-precocious but emotionally-stunted teenager" stuff except with the amp turned up to eleven.
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Re: SafeSearch is off - Dec. 04 2006
« Reply #27 on: December 10, 2006, 10:33:41 pm »

hey, at least you had the gumption to put that shit on paper. I just let it pour out of my mouth at all opportunities.
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Re: SafeSearch is off - Dec. 04 2006
« Reply #28 on: December 11, 2006, 05:24:02 pm »

My attractions along these lines always seem to be to obscure sitcom supporting actresses.

Along those lines, I will give $5 to the person who can tell me the name of the hot chick in the New Pornographers "The Laws Have Changed" video.  Not the girl in the band who lip-syncs Neko's lines, but the dancer/temptress woman.
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Re: SafeSearch is off - Dec. 04 2006
« Reply #29 on: December 11, 2006, 05:48:57 pm »

Holy carp.  I was mistaken about her paternity.  I thought her dad was this guy
, who turns out to be David Crosby, of Crosby, Stills & Nash - or more recent note, the biological father of Melissa Etheridge's kids.  There is no apparent relation between Denise and David - odd considering their likeness (in my opinion) and name.
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