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@achewood My bicycle is parked in the living room. A tub of tartar sauce sits open on the counter. Truly, the evidence of a wife being away too long.

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Author Topic: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning  (Read 4818 times)

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AugustWest

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Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« on: December 28, 2006, 08:08:48 pm »
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Choop

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Re: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2006, 08:12:58 pm »
Do you ever get deer on your property? Was the head nearby or completely AWOL?

Oh man when I decapitated this snake in my garden last summer its jaw just kept opening and closing for a solid five minutes. Creeped me right out.
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melack

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Re: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« Reply #2 on: December 28, 2006, 09:17:24 pm »
If a snake tried to eat my cell phone, I'd cut that fucker's head off too! I mean, what is that, a Samsung? That's a good phone. You got a good phone like that, you gotta hold onto it.
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theinevitable

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Re: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« Reply #3 on: December 28, 2006, 09:20:13 pm »
when I was younger, we found a decapitated duck in our yard in Chicago. The head was 10 yards away.
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Choop

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Re: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« Reply #4 on: December 28, 2006, 09:55:11 pm »
Quote from: theinevitable on December 28, 2006, 09:20:13 pm
when I was younger, we found a decapitated duck in our yard in Chicago. The head was 10 yards away.

As in 30 feet or 10 houses?
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theinevitable

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Re: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« Reply #5 on: December 28, 2006, 10:12:50 pm »
30 feet. Maybe that is an exaggeration: I was 7 years old at most at the time.
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AugustWest

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Re: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« Reply #6 on: December 28, 2006, 10:38:56 pm »
Quote from: melack on December 28, 2006, 09:17:24 pm
If a snake tried to eat my cell phone, I'd cut that fucker's head off too! I mean, what is that, a Samsung? That's a good phone. You got a good phone like that, you gotta hold onto it.

Are you making fun of my cell phone?  Don't make me come over there.
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melack

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Re: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« Reply #7 on: December 28, 2006, 11:28:39 pm »
No way! I have a Samsung, too. I always hear people complain about their phones and how they never have service anywhere, but my Samsung only loses service if I'm in the basement of a heavily fortified building. The thing's awesome.
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V-Adore

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Re: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« Reply #8 on: December 28, 2006, 11:46:57 pm »
Quote from: theinevitable on December 28, 2006, 09:20:13 pm
when I was younger, we found a decapitated duck in our yard in Chicago. The head was 10 yards away.

This is a sad thing. I'm not sure if it's the saddest, but it's on the list. Was there any apparent cause of decapitation?
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Drygioni

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Re: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« Reply #9 on: December 28, 2006, 11:49:48 pm »
While we're pulling out our Found Dead Things Dicks, I found a dead body in a ditch when I was 6. He'd been hit by a car, but it wasn't too unpleasant overall, there wasn't much blood etc.
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wombat

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Re: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« Reply #10 on: December 29, 2006, 12:32:49 am »
Holy shit, Judy. No wonder you are wise beyond your years.

I feel I must say - people, don't go chopping the heads off of snakes, OK?  Even if they are venomous it's almost always better to just stay the hell away. And if they are not, there is no reason to.

But if you do, jeez, don't go throwing the thing at other people's cell phones.
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Choop

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Re: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« Reply #11 on: December 29, 2006, 01:24:56 am »
Ordinarily, I wouldn't decapitate anything at all. It's just that my neighbor's dog likes my garden, and is also kind of an idiot. She might not know to stay away from the snake. Rather than risk my neighbor's dog's mortality, I made the tough decision. It was man time, and I came real.

I have to say, it's a good thing the body didn't wriggle around after. I'd probably still be in a padded room.
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linnea

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Re: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« Reply #12 on: December 29, 2006, 06:24:28 am »
Oh god DAMMIT. Did I just click on a link that Frank provided of a decapitated animal?

I'm going to be very pissed off if that is what I discover when I open this other link, Mr. West. I get ENOUGH of that shit at work, thank you very much.
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theinevitable

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Re: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« Reply #13 on: December 29, 2006, 07:30:13 am »
my favorite teacher has a story about his brother as a child-- when confronted with a snake, his grandmother demanded that he go get his gun and "shoot it in its head."

He was so overcome with terror of the snake that he couldn't take aim. So... she dropped a brick on its head.

They are from Alabama.
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littlefallsmets

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Re: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« Reply #14 on: December 29, 2006, 10:59:50 am »
Quote from: theinevitable
He was so overcome with terror of the snake that he couldn't take aim. So... she dropped a brick on its head.

They are from Alabama.

Little-Known-Fact #485:

There is a law in Alabama where if you don't know how to use a gun by eight, they kick you out and you have to go live in Ohio.*

THE STORY DOES NOT CHECK OUT.

*also if you can't name four living race car drivers
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