The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

RT@achewood New Roast Beef band name: THE DATA-TONES

Pages: [1] 2   Go Down

Author Topic: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning  (Read 4815 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

AugustWest

  • Over Easy
  • Philosopher King
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 774
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 10549
  • Bulbous, also tapered.
    • View Profile
Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« on: December 28, 2006, 08:08:48 pm »
Logged
Infinitely vast, infinitely detailed.

Choop

  • Mod Squad
  • LAZARUS, Tasseled Loafer of the Powerful
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1010
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 4260
  • www dot at rick and morty dot com www
    • View Profile
Re: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2006, 08:12:58 pm »
Do you ever get deer on your property? Was the head nearby or completely AWOL?

Oh man when I decapitated this snake in my garden last summer its jaw just kept opening and closing for a solid five minutes. Creeped me right out.
Logged
Nobody exists on purpose; nobody belongs anywhere; everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV?

melack

  • Philippe
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 70
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 940
  • Cheer up, hamburger.
    • View Profile
    • Worst Songs, Played on Ugliest Guitars
Re: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« Reply #2 on: December 28, 2006, 09:17:24 pm »
If a snake tried to eat my cell phone, I'd cut that fucker's head off too! I mean, what is that, a Samsung? That's a good phone. You got a good phone like that, you gotta hold onto it.
Logged

theinevitable

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 486
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12139
    • View Profile
    • tweet tweet fun fun
Re: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« Reply #3 on: December 28, 2006, 09:20:13 pm »
when I was younger, we found a decapitated duck in our yard in Chicago. The head was 10 yards away.
Logged
Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

Choop

  • Mod Squad
  • LAZARUS, Tasseled Loafer of the Powerful
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1010
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 4260
  • www dot at rick and morty dot com www
    • View Profile
Re: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« Reply #4 on: December 28, 2006, 09:55:11 pm »
Quote from: theinevitable on December 28, 2006, 09:20:13 pm
when I was younger, we found a decapitated duck in our yard in Chicago. The head was 10 yards away.

As in 30 feet or 10 houses?
Logged
Nobody exists on purpose; nobody belongs anywhere; everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV?

theinevitable

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 486
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12139
    • View Profile
    • tweet tweet fun fun
Re: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« Reply #5 on: December 28, 2006, 10:12:50 pm »
30 feet. Maybe that is an exaggeration: I was 7 years old at most at the time.
Logged
Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

AugustWest

  • Over Easy
  • Philosopher King
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 774
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 10549
  • Bulbous, also tapered.
    • View Profile
Re: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« Reply #6 on: December 28, 2006, 10:38:56 pm »
Quote from: melack on December 28, 2006, 09:17:24 pm
If a snake tried to eat my cell phone, I'd cut that fucker's head off too! I mean, what is that, a Samsung? That's a good phone. You got a good phone like that, you gotta hold onto it.

Are you making fun of my cell phone?  Don't make me come over there.
Logged
Infinitely vast, infinitely detailed.

melack

  • Philippe
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 70
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 940
  • Cheer up, hamburger.
    • View Profile
    • Worst Songs, Played on Ugliest Guitars
Re: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« Reply #7 on: December 28, 2006, 11:28:39 pm »
No way! I have a Samsung, too. I always hear people complain about their phones and how they never have service anywhere, but my Samsung only loses service if I'm in the basement of a heavily fortified building. The thing's awesome.
Logged

V-Adore

  • Guest
Re: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« Reply #8 on: December 28, 2006, 11:46:57 pm »
Quote from: theinevitable on December 28, 2006, 09:20:13 pm
when I was younger, we found a decapitated duck in our yard in Chicago. The head was 10 yards away.

This is a sad thing. I'm not sure if it's the saddest, but it's on the list. Was there any apparent cause of decapitation?
Logged

Drygioni

  • formerly Judy
  • VIP
  • Onstad's Left Shoe
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 194
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1796
    • View Profile
    • FACEBOOK
Re: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« Reply #9 on: December 28, 2006, 11:49:48 pm »
While we're pulling out our Found Dead Things Dicks, I found a dead body in a ditch when I was 6. He'd been hit by a car, but it wasn't too unpleasant overall, there wasn't much blood etc.
Logged
I am sorry for my behaviour last night.

wombat

  • English-Speaking Pizza
  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 644
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12493
  • Yeah man, these are pugs, not some fuck*ng lolcat.
    • View Profile
Re: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« Reply #10 on: December 29, 2006, 12:32:49 am »
Holy shit, Judy. No wonder you are wise beyond your years.

I feel I must say - people, don't go chopping the heads off of snakes, OK?  Even if they are venomous it's almost always better to just stay the hell away. And if they are not, there is no reason to.

But if you do, jeez, don't go throwing the thing at other people's cell phones.
Logged
What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

Choop

  • Mod Squad
  • LAZARUS, Tasseled Loafer of the Powerful
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1010
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 4260
  • www dot at rick and morty dot com www
    • View Profile
Re: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« Reply #11 on: December 29, 2006, 01:24:56 am »
Ordinarily, I wouldn't decapitate anything at all. It's just that my neighbor's dog likes my garden, and is also kind of an idiot. She might not know to stay away from the snake. Rather than risk my neighbor's dog's mortality, I made the tough decision. It was man time, and I came real.

I have to say, it's a good thing the body didn't wriggle around after. I'd probably still be in a padded room.
Logged
Nobody exists on purpose; nobody belongs anywhere; everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV?

linnea

  • VIP
  • Ocular Shenanigans
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 168
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 3332
    • View Profile
Re: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« Reply #12 on: December 29, 2006, 06:24:28 am »
Oh god DAMMIT. Did I just click on a link that Frank provided of a decapitated animal?

I'm going to be very pissed off if that is what I discover when I open this other link, Mr. West. I get ENOUGH of that shit at work, thank you very much.
Logged

theinevitable

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 486
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12139
    • View Profile
    • tweet tweet fun fun
Re: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« Reply #13 on: December 29, 2006, 07:30:13 am »
my favorite teacher has a story about his brother as a child-- when confronted with a snake, his grandmother demanded that he go get his gun and "shoot it in its head."

He was so overcome with terror of the snake that he couldn't take aim. So... she dropped a brick on its head.

They are from Alabama.
Logged
Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

littlefallsmets

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 363
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 6294
  • the perfect is the enemy of the good
    • View Profile
    • this is where I jot down random ideas
Re: Check out what Mrs. West found in the yard this morning
« Reply #14 on: December 29, 2006, 10:59:50 am »
Quote from: theinevitable
He was so overcome with terror of the snake that he couldn't take aim. So... she dropped a brick on its head.

They are from Alabama.

Little-Known-Fact #485:

There is a law in Alabama where if you don't know how to use a gun by eight, they kick you out and you have to go live in Ohio.*

THE STORY DOES NOT CHECK OUT.

*also if you can't name four living race car drivers
Logged
I do the Tweets @Cecconi140
Pages: [1] 2   Go Up
« previous next »