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[Fooker]

Allow me to begin:

I went to Wal-Mart at around 11:30 last night to buy some shit. I had some quarters given to me by someone else to use to buy them raisins (don't ask) and a few twenties of my own to spend on things I wanted.

After around an hour of browsing, I checked out. I had the raisins subtotaled and paid with quarters, and then paid for a laptop bag (which the cashier looked inside), some socks, a shirt, gloves, and a hat. The gloves were important because I have Reynauds'- in cold temperatures, my circulation in my extremities drops like a rock, and getting into a cold car is extremely painful for me, especially touching the wheel. So, I bought some gloves, and put them on after taking my receipt and bags from the cashier. That way, my hands could be toasty warm all the way to the car, and inside it too! All was calm and pleasant. I was a smiling sunbeam.

Walking to the door, I was detained by the old receipt checkers. Like any person who has read about walmart and receipt checkers online, I refused to show it. Plus, I was heavily fuck*ng loaded with three bags of stuff, the gloves were insulated and too bulky to do anything requiring dexterity such as reaching inside my very tight pocket for the receipt which was under my wallet, and I didn't want to take them off. I said no, and kept walking. The receipt lady dashed to the door and physically barred me from leaving. I tried and she wouldn't let me past.

She wasn't just standing in my way, she was spreading out and emanating body language vibes that were basically identical to Gandalf getting all "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" on my ass. The other guy was to my right, and to my left was the wall. I was cornered and he was moving in closer on me trying to get into my bags.

I said that I wanted to leave and she said no, she had to see my receipt. I said no, you DON'T, and I don't want to take my gloves off to get it. The old guy (and I LIKED the old guy. I see him almost every time I go in and I always smile and say hi, because I AM NOT AN ASSHOLE AND I DONT INTENTIONALLY FUCK WITH OLD PEOPLE SUPPLEMENTING THEIR SOCIAL SECURITY CHECKS BUT GOD. DAMN.) raised his radio, nonverbally threatening to summon the authorities. I started to feel tight pain in my chest (I have angina) and the space around me began to feel tighter and tighter. I tried to get past the lady without touching her but she physically blocked the door and grabbed my bags or my arm (I don't remember which but I know my arm was at least brushed). The old guy raised his radio higher and I told them to call the police if they wanted to stop me. She looked at the old guy and in a mean voice said "look inside his bag" (the laptop bag). I told them that they could not look inside the bag, it was checked by the cashier and it was now my property. The pain in my chest increased and I knew that if I didn't get out of there it would get worse and I would have breathing difficulties.

With great difficulty, I pulled my right glove off and giraffeed out the receipt. The old guy DIDN'T EVEN COMPARE IT TO MY ITEMS and just marked it with a pen, then handed it back. The woman was about to let me leave but I was pissed and held the laptop bag out to her and insisted that she check it, with a 'fuck*ng' thrown in for good measure. She didn't want to anymore but I insisted and she opened it up and looked through it and stuck it back in my bag, then she gave me the receipt (having taken it from the guy? I didn't see) and I stuck it in my pocket and pulled my glove back on. At this point I was FINALLY allowed to leave.

My plan is to file suit with Wal-Mart and collect the ~10k their insurance company will belch out, split it with the lawyer, and spend the rest of the money somewhere OTHER than wal-mart.

There's nothing I love more than screwing that company, unless it's screwing one of their cashiers. Hah.

Knowing that I had NOTHING to be detained over, I would have stuck around for security and hopefully cops to show up. I know for a fact that if I was arrested over this that I could get that 10k out of them easily, but I was afraid for my own health and felt like I had to comply to avoid having a medical emergency.

I can get a doctor to check me out and verify my health claims. (reynauds, angina, etc)

Alright, it is now 9 am and I am going out to find myself a fearsome attack lawyer in a town of 16,000 people. There should be at least one. Hopefully I don't have to go into the next largest city. I figure the extent of this will be one (1) lawyer letter to wal-mart, followed by an offer back for me to settle before court. Even then, I want one that'll go for the gold on contingency basis.

[wombat]

basically identical to Gandalf getting all "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" on my ass.

I had no idea I was missing so much excitement because I do not shop at Wal-mart.

[Fooker]

I go to wal-mart because it is basically a place where adventures happen and we don't have a Target. Also there is this one really cute cashier.

Negatives: rednecks, fat people, fat rednecks, redneck kids, fat kids.

[CortJstr]

We don't have Wal-Marts where I live. When did they start doing the Price Club receipt check?

[Carlos del Vaca]

We don't have Wal-Marts where I live. When did they start doing the Price Club receipt check?

Come out to Fairfax, we got one.
Actually, don't.  Not worth it. 

They did, however, take a return on the DVD of "It's a Wonderful Life" that I got in the office gift exchange, and I have no idea if it was bought at Wal-Mart.  I got a belt with the store credit.

[side_show]

Yeah, see, I worked at Wall-Mart to put myself through University, and I could tell you somethings - it is like the 5th circle of hell.  You think they're customer service Nazis?  You can't even imagine how horribly the employees you dealt with are probably treated. 

Really though, don't waste your time with a lawyer, Wal-Mart's lawyers are scarier than any lawyer who's stupid enough to take the case.  If you don't like the store's awful policies and treatment of customers, and already knew that before shopping there, here's a suggestion:  Don't shop there.

[Carlos del Vaca]

Really though, don't waste your time with a lawyer, Wal-Mart's lawyers are scarier than any lawyer who's stupid enough to take the case.  If you don't like the store's awful policies and treatment of customers, and already knew that before shopping there, here's a suggestion:  Don't shop there.

Yeah.  I gotta say, even though they treated you suckily, I don't think you have much of a case.  Unlawful detainment = taken to a back room and kept there for four hours, not delayed at the door for ten minutes.

(Maybe you are joking about filing suit.  I can't really tell.)

[Fooker]

I've been researching law for my state.. just because it was only for a few minutes doesn't mean they didn't break the law by barring me from leaving.

I don't expect to get millions, after all.

[Sub_Topical]

Why do you expect to get anything you fuck*ng parasite blowjob?

They asked you to show a receipt at the door and you pitched a kitty even though you knew the policy going in. WTF, you couldn't leave it out in a bag for the door warden or done nine jillion other things to avoid your slight inconvenience?

You're being a pseudo-outraged prick over something a million rational adults negotiate effortlessly daily.

CHILDISH BULLSHIT

[Fooker]

Why do you expect to get anything you fuck*ng parasite blowjob?

They asked you to show a receipt at the door and you pitched a kitty even though you knew the policy going in. WTF, you couldn't leave it out in a bag for the door warden or done nine jillion other things to avoid your slight inconvenience?

You're being a pseudo-outraged prick over something a million rational adults negotiate effortlessly daily.

CHILDISH BULLSHIT

This was a special fuck*ng circumstance.

Besides, I know the law about receipts and such. All of the five times I've been asked to show a receipt before, I did it because I didn't feel like being a dick to a senior citizen. However, I do object to having my sense of civility manipulated by having elderly people placed in that situation, to ask things of me that have nothing to do with me. I don't work for Wal-Mart, and I don't feel the need to help them with their own security problems. They have security cameras up the ass and LP officers if they want to bust someone for shoplifting. Unless they have probable cause, there's nothing that lets them detain me, especially physically.

Not my goddamn fault if they can't police their own cashiers to keep them from collaborating with other crooks and not ringing up expensive items at the checkout. Besides, what sort of loot did they expect me to steal in the 10 feet past the checkout counter, and if I'm such a master thief that I could pull it off, why would I be robbing Wal-Mart?

Don't get offended just because I'm not a blissninny. I bet you think that when a cop asks to search your car, you're being an unreasonable cockfag if you say "Unless you have a warrant, I'd rather be on my way, officer."

[jay-ell]

A persuasive argument. 

This, however, is why I don't in fact shop at Wal-Mart.  My mom keeps renewing my Sam's club membership without asking, but I don't even use it because I feel bad in my stomach every time I spend money in the Walton Empire. 

The exception is when my kid is crying and we're in the mountains of West Virginia and there's noplace else around I can get him a bottle of milk/pacifier/cold medicine/whatever. 

[AugustWest]

This was a special fuck*ng circumstance.

Special how exactly?  Why do you deserve $10,000 because you had to show a reciept at the door of the Wal-Mart?

OK, maybe it's not right and it's not cool that they do that.  But how exactly were you injured $10,000 worth?  Did you miss work?  Incur medical bills?  Endure severe pain?

Or are you suggesting that the 2 minutes of righteous indignation you suffered entitles you to some free money while you clog up the Court system for the rest of us?  Put your big girl panties on and get the fuck over it.

[Fooker]

Actually, I don't intend to clog up the legal system at all, however, you seem to think that I should ignore and allow Unlawful Detainment (A felony) to go unchallenged.

I file suit. Wal-Mart reviews the evidence and offers a settlement for less than their court costs will be, thus bypassing the entire legal system. I give the lawyer his cut and move on with my life. Everyone is happy, except for a pair of old biddies that probably get fired and go back to eating catfood.

[Sub_Topical]

Don't get offended just because I'm not a blissninny.

That's not the problem at all.

YOU went to their establishment.
YOU knew their policies in advance.
YOU forced a needless confrontation.
YOU expect ca$h layouts.
YOU carry the responsibility for putting yourself in a stupid position with an octogenerian.

And for all this YOU want to stand on 'your rights' when YOU put yourself into the mix.

Because you're special?

Douche.

JL has the adult answer here [edit]and Smells[/edit] (it's also what I do)

Story Time: only 20% of the items at your standard big-box retailer (WallyWorld, Target, etc.) are high profit items. The rest are maybe 2% over cost+overhead. The impact of theft on these retailers falls directly into monthly/quarterly profitability. They're running on small margin high volume survival. The crummy receipt check policies and other 'security' measures allow these retailers to control product loss to the point where they can avoid a few critical impacts: staffing cutbacks and price floors (price floors directly effect market area competitiveness which impacts volume). These companies are unwilling to give up on security policies because of these impacts. They'd rather lose a few customers who're offended than have to raise prices, lose volume and cut back on Sally May's hours (which she needs to buy the babys new leg braces).

You want the advantage of narrow margin low ass prices you're going to run into these policies. You don't want to put up with it you can go to a retailer who carries a sufficient margin on their products that they can survive a little higher loss rate and pay for the lack of bother.

You want the tasty low prices while ignoring the stated policies of a private business on their property?

Fuuuuuuuuuck YOOOOUuuuuu!

[AugustWest]

Actually, I don't intend to clog up the legal system at all, however, you seem to think that I should ignore and allow Unlawful Detainment (A felony) to go unchallenged.

I file suit. Wal-Mart reviews the evidence and offers a settlement for less than their court costs will be, thus bypassing the entire legal system. I give the lawyer his cut and move on with my life. Everyone is happy, except for a pair of old biddies that probably get fired and go back to eating catfood.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you: MR. PAT REYNOLDS!!!