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Author Topic: PROBLEM: I was unlawfully detained by Octogenarian Receipt Nazis  (Read 10702 times)

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  • Todd
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Re: PROBLEM: I was unlawfully detained by Octogenarian Receipt Nazis
« Reply #15 on: January 18, 2007, 06:54:59 pm »

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you: MR. PAT REYNOLDS!!!

::golf claps::
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Fooker

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Re: PROBLEM: I was unlawfully detained by Octogenarian Receipt Nazis
« Reply #16 on: January 18, 2007, 06:57:45 pm »

I must have missed the posted notice that said that their employees are instructed to break the law when I don't let them check over my receipt (something that rarely happens to me anyway).

OH NO, I'M ON A STORES PROPERTY. THEY CAN TACKLE AND FIST ME, NO PROBLEM.
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Re: PROBLEM: I was unlawfully detained by Octogenarian Receipt Nazis
« Reply #17 on: January 18, 2007, 07:01:38 pm »

No, you missed the sign that says "I'm partially (at least) responsible for the stupid ass situations I get in and acting like a petulant child who lost their binky". People get that one when they're adults, you must have missed that line.

Now go ahead and have the last word then go take your cunt-pills. I figger you know where I stand by now.

ALSO: fuck you and your shot at rednecks. We're almost people too.
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Fooker

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Re: PROBLEM: I was unlawfully detained by Octogenarian Receipt Nazis
« Reply #18 on: January 18, 2007, 07:03:20 pm »

I will gleefully update you guys with whether or not I manage to charge a senior citizen criminally. I wasn't going to do that but now I am. It'll sure show those other guys on the Achewood board, on the internet!

I mean business!!!1
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V-Adore

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Re: PROBLEM: I was unlawfully detained by Octogenarian Receipt Nazis
« Reply #19 on: January 18, 2007, 07:15:28 pm »

(and I LIKED the old guy. I see him almost every time I go in and I always smile and say hi, because I AM NOT AN ASSHOLE AND I DONT INTENTIONALLY FUCK WITH OLD PEOPLE SUPPLEMENTING THEIR SOCIAL SECURITY CHECKS BUT GOD. DAMN.)

Quote
I file suit. Wal-Mart reviews the evidence and offers a settlement for less than their court costs will be, thus bypassing the entire legal system. I give the lawyer his cut and move on with my life. Everyone is happy, except for a pair of old biddies that probably get fired and go back to eating catfood.

One of these things isn't quite like the other. HINT: Which one shows a certain level of respect for the elderly, who are frequently forced to work retail in order to keep themselves above the poverty line, and which one does not?

Pop quiz: do barbers make too much money? Think hard.

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Fooker

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Re: PROBLEM: I was unlawfully detained by Octogenarian Receipt Nazis
« Reply #20 on: January 18, 2007, 07:16:30 pm »


Pop quiz: do barbers make too much money? Think hard.



I wouldn't know, I cut my hair with a cabbage patch Magic Chewing Action doll and a pair of garden clippers.
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littlefallsmets

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Re: PROBLEM: I was unlawfully detained by Octogenarian Receipt Nazis
« Reply #21 on: January 18, 2007, 07:39:36 pm »

You buy the Wal-Mart ticket, you take the Wal-Mart ride.

I'm not being a snob, I buy the Wal-Mart ticket occasionally... to save four bucks on Sleep-Aid or whatever. But I understand the ride... to peruse Wal-Mart is to give into a certain kind of Smiling Jesus American Flags and Exploited Workforce hell just to... save four bucks on Sleep-Aid.

Owned and operated by Savage Monsters who'd stomp a hole in their mother for another yacht, staffed by People With No Other Option At All...

These old people were only following the literal interpretations of orders, by people who do not care about humanity living in mansions in Arkansas who... enforce their own insane penny-pinching rules randomly to instill fear in their broken underlings. Of COURSE those rules will be applied in nonsense ways, that's the point, making them do it that way is how you keep them broken and afraid. Rule through madness.

We have allowed our own countrymen to be made serfs that we might save a quarter on Doritos.

Go into that situation clear-eyed and you won't walk out of it in such a huff.

Sometimes you have to do bad things to get by... the key is to not fool ourselves about it, that's how we can prevent a piece of our souls from being taken in the process. If you're taking five hundred bucks from Osama Bin Laden to make your rent, don't be surprised if someone took your picture shaking his hand for it.

Be prepared to say "Yeah, the dude is evil but I had to pay my rent and I didn't see alla y'all kicking in. Don't judge me 'til you're short five bills yourself." Be prepared to believe it and know it because such things are the goddamned human condition.

This is how life works. The righteous indignation should be about places like Wal-Mart existing and people having to work entirely-humilitating jobs like that for nearly nothing in the richest country in the world... not that you got delayed for ten minutes because of the madness that swirls around that travesty.

Also: their lawyers are pretty much Highlanders, the only way to defeat them is to chop off their heads in single combat and they will be unleashed like wild dogs just to save five thousand bucks, just to prove a point that they will not be taken down by a swarm of gnat-bites. This is generally what happens when you've got hundreds of billions of dollars sloshing around in the pockets of zealots.
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Re: PROBLEM: I was unlawfully detained by Octogenarian Receipt Nazis
« Reply #22 on: January 18, 2007, 07:49:36 pm »

Dude, that post is being so TOUAMBIE nominated if those go off again this year.

Category: Hella Conflicted - The posts you alternately love and loath

Well Done!
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Re: PROBLEM: I was unlawfully detained by Octogenarian Receipt Nazis
« Reply #23 on: January 19, 2007, 12:45:29 am »

LFM, please go back and edit your post, needs more profanity.

C+.  You can do better.  Show your work.
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littlefallsmets

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Re: PROBLEM: I was unlawfully detained by Octogenarian Receipt Nazis
« Reply #24 on: January 19, 2007, 01:10:51 am »

Quote from: smick
C+.  You can do better.  Show your work.

I've always been unclear as to which swears would involve a * # or % showing up so... I'm a bit gunshy. Bad enough the few times I use the "trouser" word, the "automaton" word or whichever mystery words bring out the percentage signs. Best to avoidsies.
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Re: PROBLEM: I was unlawfully detained by Octogenarian Receipt Nazis
« Reply #25 on: January 19, 2007, 03:13:07 am »

Fuck yeah.  This thread's turned hella' sexy.

I can not, can not stress enough how badly Wal-Mart treats it's employees - how they find every fuck*ng way they can to underpay, pressure and otherwise enforce a culture of fear among their workers.  Anyone who doesn't have sympathy for Wal-Mart staff needs to go there before the store opens with a pair of binoculars and spy the Wal-Mart wiggle.  Degradation and arm twisting are the name of the game.

How much you wanna bet those community elders at the door have a quota of shrinkage reduction measures to meet every day?  How much you wanna bet that the goal set is damn near impossible to reach?  How much you wanna bet their boss reminded them of this that very day and every day? And what about the whole lot of unspoken threats that happen if these folks aren't close enough to target.  Every single employee when I worked at Wal-Mart was held personally responsible for shrinkage issues - I was grilled about empty packages and constantly spied on. 

Don't hate the player, hate the game is all I'm saying.



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Re: PROBLEM: I was unlawfully detained by Octogenarian Receipt Nazis
« Reply #26 on: January 19, 2007, 03:21:05 am »

If you want to take money from Wal-Mart, do it the honest way: by assembling a crack team of specialists to break into their #####-guarded headquarters and steal the gigantic diamonds the Waltons do lines off of. Underground drill-tank type vehicles optional but recommended.

EDIT: "the gigantic diamonds off of which the Waltons do lines"
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littlefallsmets

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Re: PROBLEM: I was unlawfully detained by Octogenarian Receipt Nazis
« Reply #27 on: January 19, 2007, 03:37:21 am »

I like to pretend that the blocked-out words are each other.

Therefore I am pretending that the Walton Compound is guarded by ferocious heat-seeking blood-thirsty slacks. The jewel thieves would have to fight them off with irons! They could yell out pithy catchphrases as they moved them down!

"Consider yourself pressed... permanently!"
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Re: PROBLEM: I was unlawfully detained by Octogenarian Receipt Nazis
« Reply #28 on: January 19, 2007, 03:38:15 am »

You probably don't have much of a case because you'll have a hard time proving injury, but fuck Wal-Mart and their receipt checking policy.  They can try to check your receipt but they do not have the right to detain you without probable cause.

If you're going to "fight" such a thing, though, you'd have to allow them to physically assault you in a manner that you could not avoid. 

That article that JL posted was great.  I enjoyed that.

The next time I have 10+ hours to kill and nothing better to do I'm going to go to Wal-Mart and be an asshole so I can ca$$$h in.  Hells yeah, motherfucker.

linnea

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Re: PROBLEM: I was unlawfully detained by Octogenarian Receipt Nazis
« Reply #29 on: January 19, 2007, 04:11:47 am »

Holy shit, dude! I did not expect a character essay by Pat Reynolds, nor did I expect to see the word "douche" bandied about so freely. Flaming! Man, has it been a while.
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