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[V-Adore]

It is creepy, sometimes, how much we look like those from whom we're descended.  I'm always amazed at how little about me is unique. 

Yeah, this was one of the minor unnerving experiences of going back to Minnesota for my grandmother's funeral this summer. Spending a lot of time more or less trapped in a room with many of my relatives and a lot of old family photos (thank you, visitations) made me actually start comparing facial structures and realize how much I look like my mother's family in weird, subtle ways. (This was mostly strange because my mother is under the impression I look nothing like her, and in fact that I am more or less a female clone of my dad; strangely enough, I do resemble my grandparents and some of my aunts and uncles more than I do my mom, which is enough to send you into one of those ancient childhood existentialist fits about possibly being adopted.)

[theinevitable]

yeah, I am a pretty good mix of features. I think facially I look mostly like my mom's family-- but whenever people point out specific features, they are those of my father's side. I apparently have my grandmother's "almond-shaped" eyes (whatever the hell that means) and... something of my grandfather? People freaked out when I cut off my hair because apparently it made me look like him.

[Choop]

I played Polonius in one production. I glanced at my reflection in the mirror after the Van Dyke was applied to my face, and saw my granddad looking back at me. I couldn't sleep for days, which only aided my interpretation of Polonius.

(I was not that good an actor.)

[wombat]

I remembered two things about my three weeks in Poland:

1. We knew how to say 'two cold beers' in Polish. We thought this was pretty damn funnny, despite (or because) we were all too young to drink.

2. Once me and some friends (all girls) were sitting on a stone wall outside a church and a flock of old ladies gathered around us like black birds flapping their hands in a tizzy and chattering at us, and eventually managed to convey that we shouldn't sit there, so we got up, although we couldn't figure out why it would be unsafe or not allowed to sit there. We later were told that there was a superstition that if you sit on cold stone, it will make you sterile.

[theinevitable]

they wanted to protect Wombie's Womb.

[wombat]

Poor old ladies, little did they know I'd spend the rest of my life sitting on all the cold stone I could find.

[Carlos del Vaca]

2. Once me and some friends (all girls) were sitting on a stone wall outside a church and a flock of old ladies gathered around us like black birds flapping their hands in a tizzy and chattering at us, and eventually managed to convey that we shouldn't sit there, so we got up, although we couldn't figure out why it would be unsafe or not allowed to sit there. We later were told that there was a superstition that if you sit on cold stone, it will make you sterile.

I had a friend tell me the exact same story, except she was in Russia.  All gettin' talked to by little old ladies about sitting on the cold floor of the train station, and how she had to protect her reproductive organs or something.

[robot_god]

Poor old ladies, little did they know I'd spend the rest of my life sitting on all the cold stone I could find.

Eeeeeeyep.  Those Poles.  There's nothing they love more than having babies and superstitions.

It's like going back in time.

[side_show]

My mom is convinced that sitting on the side walk causes hemroids - this caused problems when I was little. 

And also that if I stand too close to the curb when waiting to cross the street that I am basically destine to be killed.  And also that if I don't lock my car door that a vagarent will come up to me when stopped at a light, and... I don't know... drag me out and take the car?  And also that a guy will come up to me claiming to have a perfume sample, only it's actually aeither, then I'm uncounciously raped.  And also that all my friends are only my friend because they are using me.  And also... no, I need to stop this, or I could be here all day and night cataloguing for years and year. 

What I am saying is that my mother believes anything and everything that she hears or makes up in her head that is wrong with the world is in fact wrong with the world.  I know that there's a little of this in all of us, but my mother's got a fairly severe anxiety disorder.  Sometimes the things she fears are really funny, but only in a sad sort of way because no matter how ridiculous they are, the awful truth is that she actually believes it all.  One day I was driving her somewhere (she can't drive due to her illness) and a drunk guy was staggering around about 10 feet away.  She was gasping and saying "lock your doors!  Lock your doors!"  and I asked why and she said something along the lines that he was going to come over and try to get in, or steal the car or something.  I explained that if this were the case, I would drive away.  She still wanted me to lock the doors, but by this point in the conversation we were driving along, several blocks away from the drunk man.  She does this all the time.  It's so irational that the last time she did this in my car I started laughing.

[iron_felix]

What I am saying is that my mother believes anything and everything that she hears or makes up in her head that is wrong with the world is in fact wrong with the world.  I know that there's a little of this in all of us, but my mother's got a fairly severe anxiety disorder.  Sometimes the things she fears are really funny, but only in a sad sort of way because no matter how ridiculous they are, the awful truth is that she actually believes it all.  One day I was driving her somewhere (she can't drive due to her illness) and a drunk guy was staggering around about 10 feet away.  She was gasping and saying "lock your doors!  Lock your doors!"  and I asked why and she said something along the lines that he was going to come over and try to get in, or steal the car or something.  I explained that if this were the case, I would drive away.  She still wanted me to lock the doors, but by this point in the conversation we were driving along, several blocks away from the drunk man.  She does this all the time.  It's so irational that the last time she did this in my car I started laughing.

I always lock my doors first thing after getting into my car.  Ostensibly it's because one should always lock one's doors to prevent them from flying open in an accident, but deep down I know it's only this bizarre sense of guilt that if I were in a situation like the one you described, the drunk guy would hear the power lock activate on my car and feel deeply offended.

[Sub_Topical]

Apparently GM, Chrysler and Porsche all have the same fear running amongst their design teams 'cause all my cars lock the door for me when I drive 'em off.

'Course, that gives me an entirely different irrational fear predicated around me anthropomorphizing the damn car.

OK, Boxster, let me outta the car now!

I CAN'T DO THAT DAVE...BY THE WAY, THE CARBON MONOXIDE SENSORS HAVE BEEN OVERIDDEN...GOODBYE

[wombat]

My VW does the same thing. When I found this out after I bought it, I was all in a panic and ready to go to a mechanic and have it disabled before I noticed a crucial detail: this locking only keeps someone from opening the doors from the outside. I can still open the door from the inside without unlocking it.

[Drastic Action]

The AWESOME thing about that mechanism is when you go outside on a cold day, turn the car on to get it warming up, go back inside to grab something, and then find that your car is now both running and locked.

[Carlos del Vaca]

The AWESOME thing about that mechanism is when you go outside on a cold day, turn the car on to get it warming up, go back inside to grab something, and then find that your car is now both running and locked.

My GM car doesn't do that.  It automatically locks the doors when you actually drive away--you have to hit 10 MPH or so.

Dumb little thing that I like about my car:  If you push the power lock button once upon getting out of the car, it goes "bing bing bing" and doesn't lock the doors yet.  It locks them once all doors have been closed for 8 seconds.  So I get out, open the back door and grab out my bag or unstrap a kid, and as I'm walking away, "honk," doors are locked.  It's a small thing, but I dig it.

[wombat]

Yes, mine waits till like 15 mph to lock the doors too.

My car makes a 'helpful' noise that I hate:  When you get down to an eighth of a tank of gas, a high-pitched alarm sounds. Although I have had the car for several years now I cannot get used to this, and every fuck*ng time it makes me jump, thinking that something awful has gone wrong with the car.  I try not to get below a quarter of a tank just to avoid hearing this noise.