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[robot_god]

Carlos Delgado's knees are going to explode this season and Mike Jacobs will be an All-Star in Florida in two years. They're looking at fuck*ng John Maine and fuck*ng Chan Ho Park when Pelfrey and Humber are completely goddamned ready to start. Chavez would be starting on any other team and Moises Alou would've fucked Jayne Mansfield except she was "too young for him".

John Maine just had a break out year, I say.  He's going to be the second best starter on the team this season.

But Delgado is vital to the lineup, because without him Beltran's average would drop 30 points and Jose Reyes would be back to swinging at balls in the dirt every AB.

And who knows, maybe your problems will solve themselves, Moises Alou will get injured so early that Milledge will play a week or two.

[littlefallsmets]

I have grave doubts about John Maine.

I see him being one of those guys who'll look good for a few innings and then lose focus and cough up the gopher ball and... everyone will only look at the innings before he lost focus and say he's having a "breakout year" when the dude lost the game by losing focus and letting the opposing fuck*ng shortstop go yard with two men on.

If they get him on Ritalin or something, who knows? He might be a serviceable number four man.

He has great stuff, potentially, yes. But until I can see him consistent go six, seven innings a game without looking like a deer in the headlights and giving up a jack to fuck*ng Randy Johnson or Lenny Harris (if he's still alive) John Maine is gonna be a really good middle-reliever who they're trying to pretend has the focus to be a starter.

But anything's better than Jose Lima.

JOSE LIMA. THEY WERE IN A fuck*ng PENNANT RACE AND THEY WERE USING JOSE fuck*ng LIMA INSTEAD OF SOLER, BANNISTER, HUMBER OR PELFREY. HOLY. fuck*ng. FUCK. JOSE LIMA EVEN SUCKED BACK WHEN HE WAS GOOD. OH, MAN, TO BE ABLE TO BEAT JOSE LIMA WITH CLIFF FLOYD'S LEG WHEN IT FINALLY FALLS OFF. HOLY. fuck*ng WOW.

(Baseball is the one thing I let myself get angry about, because it is really just rich guys who I've never met playing a game. It is healthier than getting mad about things that actually matter.)

[robot_god]

Maine got hella tight down the stretch especially late down the stretch when the Mets basically didn't have anyone else putting up good starts and everyone was weeping about Pedro.  If it doesn't carry into next year, I'm going to be surprised, I'd have alot more trust in him than Bannister and Soler.

I have to defend him because a few months ago I was with the dudes and I was like stupid plastered and I said, "You know what I bet you?:  Chien Ming Wang and John Maine are 2007's Cy Young winners.  Ya heard?"  So now I have to stand by what I said.

But you're getting worked up about the wrong things.  How 'bout that Billy Wagner deal?

[robot_god]

THIS JUST IN, LARUSSA DUI

[littlefallsmets]

Here's the thing.

I grant myself one Supreme Unwarranted Arrogance.

I am a pretty humble guy about most things and there are a few things I am arrogant about but it is pretty much warranted, such as in being a talented (if wildly undisiplined) writer or in being absolutely correct about the big picture (though often wrong on the small or short-term details) in terms of political situations.

But even those things, I'm throwing up hell of parentheticals.

My one Supreme Unwarranted Arrogance is that I know better for the Mets than anyone. Better than Omar Meckaleckahimeckhahineyho, better than Willie "I Manage Like It Is Still 1893" Randolph, better than any commentator anywhere.

Not baseball in general which I am merely Very Smart at... but the Mets in particular, if they would listen to me, they would have a great team to win the World Series for the next six years as opposed to a team of cobbled-together washed-up power hitters to get into the playoffs this year.

I pay THAT close attention to the Mets, I am that great of a baseball mind, I am that awesome.

There is only one person who COULD know better for the Mets than I do, except that he has to pay attention to the entire sport and so probably cannot get as detail-oriented as I do about the Metropolitan Baseball Club of New York...

And oddly enough, that dude is the dad of a poster here.

Other than that dude IF he was focused in such as a laser on just that team, I am the supreme authority on the Mets.

It is my one completely unwarranted arrogance. I mean, I never even played Little League.

The most baseball I ever played was unorganized sandlot whiffleball but, goddamn it, I watched every game possible of the Little Falls Mets and the Utica Blue Sox until they both moved out, the Mohawk Valley Landsharks of the independent leagues, the Little Falls Diamonds of the college semi-pro leagues possible for a kid and teenager.

I done spent years at the foot of the purest organized ball of all, the low-minors, and I am a dude with that wisdom FOCUSED LIKE THE HIGHLANDER'S JAPANESE SWORD THING onto the Mets organization.

...Wagner, eh. Closers are important but not as important as they are made to sound.

If your hitters get on base and your starter can go six or seven innings, the closer is incidental.

[melack]

It never dawned on me to mention this before, but have any of you read Fantasyland by Sam Walker? It's pretty good. He's a writer from the Wall Street Journal who joins the most prestigious fantasy league in the country, which basically consumes his entire life. The theme of the book is ostensibly about bridging the divide between statheads and old-fashioned scouting to construct the ultimate fantasy team, but it's more a vehicle for self-deprecating jokes and funny player encounter anecdotes, especially those with Doug Mientkeiwicz and David Ortiz.

[melack]

So, uh... when are we getting our players?

[KeithHernandez]

I've been waiting on that myself.

[Arachno-capitalist]

I blame the unions.

[melack]

The real Queen of England could have busted those unions to get us our players faster.

[Arachno-capitalist]

My team's batting average is sick awesome. Also, I have barry bonds in the outfield.
Who got Pedro Martinez?

[melack]

We have players! Excellent!

I dunno who got Pedro, but considering his arm is handing on by a thread, I feel sorry for them.

I see I got Felix Hernandez, and all I had to do was move him up 40 spots in the rankings! Nice.

Not nice: I have both A-Rod and Jeter. Those two are gonna have some serious passive aggressive arguments in the Zombie Reagan clubhouse. Shouldn't be god for team chemistry.

So uh, how does this waiver system work? I kind of want AJ Pierzynski off my tream right now.

[littlefallsmets]

I am pretty sure I have NO idea what I am doing with my team.

But my starting pitching is pretty goddamn awesome. So is my outfield.

I'm sort-of at a loss to figure out my SS, C, bench and bullpen but... I guess I'll get there.

I have no Mets, though, and that DOES bother me.

[Nabubrush]

I don't know anything about anything, but I did get that pitcher that the Red Sox had to pay 50 mil just to talk to. That's gotta be good, eh?

[Arachno-capitalist]

My entire roster may or may not be bordering the disabled list or criminal charges. Excellent.