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[littlefallsmets]

A tiny can for pointing out the problem so obvious that we didn't even see it.

[iron_felix]

I believe the surname Pujols is from Catalan and was originally pronounced "poo-JOHL," so it's really not that difficult a mistake to make.

I am not yet too far removed from my childhood to remember that any reference to anuses is automatically funny, regardless of context.  Don't be afraid of low humor, people.

Two of my favorite Albert Pujols jokes:

"Colon blows one past Pujols."  (back when he pitched for the Expos)
"Randy Johnson goes hard and in on Pujols."

It's too bad he didn't play at the same time as Rollie Fingers.

See also:  Paul Assenmacher.

[Nabubrush]

Also, oftentimes heterosexuals like "poo-holes". I hope you feel sorry for yourself, young man.

[Arachno-capitalist]

Also, oftentimes heterosexuals like "poo-holes". I hope you feel sorry for yourself, young man.

Ohhhhhh, now I get it. Now I get the joke. Thank you.

[melack]

I know I've seen somewhere a collection of newspaper clippings covering Bartolo Colon. My favorite headline among them is probably "Colon takes another pounding" - for the obvious humor and for the fact that seeing a division rival struggle is one of life's most precious joys.

[Turbo Ninja]

I ended up with Wright AND Reyes.  That's crazy and my infield will RULE.

Oh, wait.  It's a small league, so EVERYONE'S team is 150% as good as a basic public league.

This will be fun.

[littlefallsmets]

Well, at least I got Mike Jacobs on the bench.

Jacobs, Pelfrey and Milledge were supposed to be part of the New Mets with Wright and Reyes, man, and the future should'a been now. Jacobs traded for a guy who is good but has MAYBE one good year left in the tank (Delgado) Milledge held down for no reason other than to prop up, like, five guys who are two years past having a good year in the tank (Alou, Green, Floyd, Nady) and Pelfrey being the only dude who is being put into the rotation fast enough...

I'm disappointed.

The following Mets team could have started this year and would've been a great team for YEARS with minor tweaks down the road:

LF - Chavez (bench)
CF - Beltran
RF - Milledge (AAA)
3B - Wright
SS - Reyes
2B - Keppinger (Reds)
1B - Jacobs (Marlins)
C - LoDuca

This year, you could have a starting staff that was a mix of Glavine, Pedro, Bannister, Pelfrey, Maine, Perez and Humber, depending on who is injured and if/when Perez and/or Maine flame-out (Perez completely, Maine becoming a really solid long-reliever 6th/7th inning guy) and if Humber is quite ready for the majors yet.

And as the years went by and Glavine and Pedro retired, Pelfrey and Humber would mature into the one-and-two aces.

And man! An awesome bullpen. Heilman and Sanchez all settin' up for the somewhat-overrated-but-still-very-good Wagner. Eventually Maine becoming the long-man, maybe Perez comin' on in at the mop-up guy if there isn't a rookie or a reclamation project playing that role. A coupla decent specialists as the Mets had been carrying such as Bradford and Feliciano and so on.

You could even still have Randolph's "experienced guys who play the game right" as much of your bench. A Valentin who can play a lot of positions passably enough for a fill-in. A Franco, etc. Assistant coaches who occasionally go in on a day game after a night game. Or a defensive specialist for the left side of the infield like an Anderson Hernandez. A back-up catcher like Castro who'd be a starter on a bad team and is a great second-string dude.

You are talking about a young powerhouse club with just enough talented experience to guide the rest of the team. No Moises Alou/Shawn Green/Cliff Floyd... Carlos Delgado in a season and a half... washed-up broke-downs who can still occasionally hit a dinger and do fuck-all else.

Rush the young guys a little instead of crossing your fingers on reclamation projects like Maine and Perez.

Coupla years, Fernando Martinez is ready and Chavez gets a gold watch and THEN... fuck.

That's a fuck*ng TEAM.

Bleh. So many missed opportunities to keep washed-up fuck*ng powerhitters around, just to steal one day's headline from the Yankees, man. That's what it's all about, that's why there are all these crap former homerun guys sniffing around and wasting fuck*ng roster spots.

So the Yankees fuck ya even when they're nowhere in sight.

Bleh.

[melack]

I have no Mets on my team, but I do have four current (and six 2006) Yankees. It should be noted that I did not alter my pre-draft rankings to achieve this. I did alter them to get more Mariners than usual, but I only ended up with three of those guys.

[Nabubrush]

I have no Mets on my team, but I do have four current (and six 2006) Yankees. It should be noted that I did not alter my pre-draft rankings to achieve this. I did alter them to get more Mariners than usual, but I only ended up with three of those guys.

I have Richie Sexson - is that good?

[melack]

Sexson will probably give you a good amount of home runs and RBIs.  But he'll hit for a pretty low average (.250 to .270), his career best in stolen bases is 3 (and at 6'8" you can't really blame him for that), and the bottom of the M's order is nothing to write home about, so he won't score many runs.

And he plays horrible defense and makes way too much money, but luckily for you only us Mariners fans have to worry about that.

[Nabubrush]

Is that you, in that sig?

[melack]

Yeah, just a few songs I've recorded in GarageBand.

[AugustWest]

I'm planning on taking a pretty much (OK, very much) laissez-faire attitude toward management and I fully expect to be the whipping boy and doormat of the league.  However, I am willing to listen to suggestions and/or trade offers.

[melack]

I'm planning on taking a pretty much (OK, very much) laissez-faire attitude toward management and I fully expect to be the whipping boy and doormat of the league.  However, I am willing to listen to suggestions and/or trade offers.

I'm going to take the opposite strategy, but with the same results. Just like every other time I've played fantasy sports (all of twice), I'll make a constant flurry of transactions, engage in a number of questionable trades purely for the sake of change and just generally have so much roster turnover I won't be able to remember anyone who is on my team. It should be a fun season.

[Arachno-capitalist]

I'm planning on taking a pretty much (OK, very much) laissez-faire attitude toward management and I fully expect to be the whipping boy and doormat of the league.  However, I am willing to listen to suggestions and/or trade offers.

is this supposed to be in Re: Retirement?