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[melack]

I don't want to brag or anything, but someone has to. There was a pitcher that I moved up about 40 spots in the pre-draft rankings to  make sure there was no way in hell someone else got him. That pitcher yesterday:

8 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 12 K

The pitcher? Felix motherfuck*ng Hernandez. Remember the name.

He was so good he went back in time and made Chis Carpenter pitch better on opening night. Don't ask me how it happened, it just did.

[littlefallsmets]

I was starting to doubt the wisdom of my "load up on Dodgers and Angels so that I can at least follow some of the guys live" theory but... Vlad single-handedly made me look slightly less embarassing yesterday.

[melack]

It would seem that Mr. Met is beating me, largely due to the fact that the Yankees (97% of my entire roster) got rained out yesterday.

I understand you had some part in this. Come clean. You've been toying with the weather, haven't you!

[littlefallsmets]

What's fascinating to me is that, like, I went into this assuming that I was going to live or die by my pitching but... I'm being outpitched in a few categories.

I do call "bullshit" on a system where the Stolen Bases stat means as much as ERA or average.

[iron_felix]

My own team has been the benificiary of Ben Sheets' two-hitter, which explains their current pitching success, but it could hold together like that for the rest of the season if my pitchers live up to their billing.

I'd be interested making a few moves, too, but nobody who has what I want would need what I'm willing to offer.  Does Yahoo support three-way deals?  I'm worried I'd just screw myself over if I tried to do that on my own.

[melack]

Proof there are mysterious, otherworldly forces holding back my baseball team: It effing snowed during the Yankees game tonight.

[KeithHernandez]

When do the scores update?

[littlefallsmets]

Early morning, I think?

Most recent lesson learned about fantasy baseball: two catchers on the roster is important.

[jaydub]

Yeah, I'd think so - are catchers the most-injured position on a team?  Maybe more than pitchers (with the inhuman stresses those guys put on their throwing arms).  They certainly see more contact than the rest of the squad.  Although shortstops see their share of base runners trying to break up double plays.

[melack]

I wouldn't say catchers are more injury-prone than other players. They just need to take a game off far more often than other players because of the nature of their position. So with only one catcher on your roster, you're going to have an empty hole every week or so.

[melack]

Desperate to light a fire under the ass of my under-performing team, I made a pair of pretty significant moves this morning. I've taken to using a Moneyball-type approach, loading up on players with a particular skillset that isn't valued my most teams. That skillset? Resistance to cold weather.

You see, I've already been the victim of three snowstorms this year. A couple days ago, a flurry of snow quite literally froze my Yankees hitters. Those miserable conditions made the normally dangerous Yankees lineup - of which I have four players - look like a bunch of blindfolded kids swinging at a pinata. Yesterday, the Mariners-Indians game was so bad that the players started building snowmen in the outfield - and yet they allowed them to play nearly five innings. My three Mariners were freezing their balls off in the snow while the umpires were running around playing "should they or shouldn't they?" They had a double-header scheduled for today, with my best pitcher slated to start one of the games, but the whole thing was called off early when everyone decided to go ice skating on Lake fuck*ng Erie.

So now I've decided to man up and get some players from the colder parts of North America. Guys who are used to snow and cold. See, according to my math, I'm gonna have to deal with 478 snowy games this season. So I dropped one of my Dominican players in favor of someone from Boston, Mass. I also tossed someone from balmy Georgia so I could add a second baseman who knows all about the cold, cold Tucson nights. See? I'm the next fuck*ng Billy Beane.

[littlefallsmets]

Aw, man. I gotta say... this is getting ten hells of exciting.

Going into the last day:

I basically have a lock on the strikeout, win, save and average categories.

My opponent basically has a lock on ERA, WHIP and stolen bases.

I have slight leads in HRs and RBI.

My opponent has a slight lead in runs.

A dude has gotta get STRATEGIC for tomorrow. This is what a dude has to do.

[KeithHernandez]

Looks like good match-ups for Easter day.

I am winning every pitching category, my opponent (motherfuckers = A-CAP?  I am going by email addresses, as I can't be fucked to remember for that long) is winning all batting categories.

[Arachno-capitalist]

Yea I dont know why I have an absent pitching staff and a rocking hitting staff. F that noise.

[littlefallsmets]

Annnnnnnnnnnnnd the cancellation of the Mariners-Indians doubleheader renders most of my strategy academic. Not much to be said for trying to get your run total up by using two players who are going to be playing in a double header when... the doubleheader ain't happening.

Just gotta bench my least effective reliever in one last attempt at taking WHIP back, try to figure out if either of my catchers are sitting out a day game after a night game and then... hope for the goddamn best.

A-CAP... I see your issue as being that you've made the strategic decision to hold onto Pedro for when he comes off the DL and Clemens for in case he comes back in June or something. These are potentially awesome long term decisions that seem to be fuck*ng you royally in the short term.

That and... you're only carrying one reliever that is actually frequently in save situations.

I think I might have a trade for you that would benefit us pretty much equally...