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Author Topic: Pretend Sports  (Read 156147 times)

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melack

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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #525 on: August 21, 2007, 05:43:53 am »
If I recall, hockey -- or "ice polo" as it's called in certain corners of Canada -- is a sport played on a pool of frozen seal's blood with the bones of Eskimos used to guide frozen beef patties into a net made of testicle hair taken from itinerant workers who have failed to pay boarding fees. It is a foul game.
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Nabubrush

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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #526 on: August 21, 2007, 07:43:01 am »
Quote from: linnea on August 21, 2007, 04:02:45 am
I've said it before, sweetheart... fuck the Red Wings. I challenge you to come to Denver and see an Avs game with me.

I'll sit right next to you in my Steve Yzerman jersey. Yeah, pretty much the class of the league. Or I could wear the jersey of Mr. Hockey. You could wear a Claude Lemieux jersey. No, no - Peter Forsberg.

Actually, you should probably wear a Ray Borque jersey.

At least you aren't a Broncos fan.
« Last Edit: August 21, 2007, 07:55:28 am by Nabubrush drinks (a lot) »
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Arachno-capitalist

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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #527 on: August 21, 2007, 04:20:10 pm »
My team could suck a hard boiled egg through a wendy's straw (not unlike my last place baseball team). But I will shape it, mold it, win with it.
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Nabubrush

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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #528 on: August 21, 2007, 04:56:23 pm »
Quote from: A-CAP on August 21, 2007, 04:20:10 pm
My team could suck a hard boiled egg through a wendy's straw (not unlike my last place baseball team). But I will shape it, mold it, win with it.

So, your team is pretty popular with the fellas, then?
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Arachno-capitalist

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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #529 on: August 21, 2007, 05:10:29 pm »
And oil drilling companies.
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Guy at my watering hole: "Acap, why do you keep coming to Jack's?They just serve shitty burgers and happen to have beers on tap."
Acap: I was thirsty one day and I sat down. A year later, Jack's was built around me and thirst is a recurring thing.

melack

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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #530 on: August 21, 2007, 05:45:15 pm »
I notice Michael Vick is available. He might be a good value pickup for someone looking to improve their forced sodomy stats.
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Nabubrush

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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #531 on: August 21, 2007, 07:18:01 pm »
Quote from: Mike Vick article
"His focus is on his family, his focus is on answering to this judge," Vick's lead defense attorney, Billy Martin, told The Associated Press after announcing the plea agreement Monday.
Whatever happened to "his focus is to do his time and be contrite and hopefully rehabilitate himself with the assistance of the Government"?
Quote from: Mike Vick article
Vick will return Monday to the same courthouse where he pleaded not guilty and resolved to prove his innocence just 25 days ago. This time he will plead guilty, and Hudson will schedule a date for sentencing.
"Yeah, what I had meant was . . ."
Quote from: Mike Vick article
Two of them also said Vick participated in the brutal executions of at least eight underperforming dogs.
He's lucky the NFL doesn't operate that way - he'd have been culled a long time ago.
Quote from: Mike Vick article
"Michael is a father, he's a son, he's a human being; people oftentimes forget that," he said.
Perhaps because his behavior hasn't been in keeping with that of any self-respecting human being. Fuck this guy.
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Carlos del Vaca

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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #532 on: August 21, 2007, 08:08:15 pm »
I agree with King Kaufman that a multi-million dollar fine payable to the ASPCA or dog rescue organizations would go a whole lot farther than slapping him in jail where he'll be an inmate celebrity.
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Nabubrush

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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #533 on: August 21, 2007, 08:38:25 pm »
Quote from: Asherdan on August 21, 2007, 08:35:42 pm
Shit, both. Wouldn't be surprised to see that in the sentencing. A helluva fine can be imposed.

There's little fuckups and there's fuckups worth having your life boned over for. Running an underground blood sport operation fueled by gambling falls over the brink.

No shit, fuck him. He fucked up. If and when he's rehabilitated, he can come back and join society. He probably won't be able to play in the NFL, but neither am I. Maybe he had join one of those ultimate fighting leagues.

What's his degree in? Veterinary medicine? Maybe he can get a job in that field.
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linnea

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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #534 on: August 21, 2007, 08:39:35 pm »
Quote from: Asherdan on August 21, 2007, 08:35:42 pm
Shit, both. Wouldn't be surprised to see that in the sentencing. A helluva fine can be imposed.

There's little fuckups and there's fuckups worth having your life boned over for. Running an underground blood sport operation fueled by gambling falls over the brink.

God, I saw the headlines and tried not to read them because I knew that I would just end up infuriated, nauseated, and shaking with rage. That stupid fuck*ng asshole deserves way worse than whatever they're gonna hand him. UGH.
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melack

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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #535 on: August 21, 2007, 09:07:07 pm »
The thing about Michael Vick is that he's not even a good quarterback. He's an exciting quarterback for sure, but don't confuse that with his ability to actually, you know, complete passes. From a strictly football point of view, this isn't even a big deal for the Falcons.
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AugustWest

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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #536 on: August 21, 2007, 09:14:32 pm »
It's a good thing for Chris Redmon.
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Nabubrush

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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #537 on: August 21, 2007, 09:20:38 pm »
Vick is what we refer to as an underperformer.
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Nabubrush

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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #538 on: August 21, 2007, 10:14:28 pm »
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smick

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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #539 on: August 21, 2007, 10:27:23 pm »
Quote from: Nabubrush drinks (a lot) on August 21, 2007, 10:14:28 pm
The public speaks out.

Can we start pressuring the NFL to adopt a "no baby eating" clause to their personal conduct policy?
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