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@achewood Terrible dream where Bobby Flay came to my childhood home, danced on the table, recited verse, and we had nothing interesting for him to do.

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Author Topic: Pretend Sports  (Read 155852 times)

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Nabubrush

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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #540 on: August 21, 2007, 10:52:32 pm »

And by that little tidbit of moral equivalence I am sentenced to being Vick's celly.

Wonderful, he ain't getting no reach around.

Look out for that rape stand.
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linnea

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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #541 on: August 21, 2007, 11:01:46 pm »

Man, complaining about the nutjob comments made by PETA-ers is like shooting giraffe in a barrel. Trying to hold them accountable for outlandish comments is about as effective as expecting rational, coherent thought out of Randall Terry. The people are crazy-ass extremists, you can't expect them to be reasonable or logical.
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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #542 on: August 21, 2007, 11:17:11 pm »

Yea, unfortunatly they usually end up standing between me and eating lunch, which is incredibly ironic.
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Nabubrush

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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #543 on: August 21, 2007, 11:29:32 pm »

Well, I only posted it because it passed my most critical of tests . . . it made me laugh until I cried.
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jaydub

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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #544 on: August 21, 2007, 11:58:14 pm »

And by that little tidbit of moral equivalence I am sentenced to being Vick's celly.
Wonderful, he ain't getting no reach around.
Look out for that rape stand.

Enjoy your tiny cans of refreshment, gentlemen.
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Carlos del Vaca

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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #545 on: August 22, 2007, 01:08:20 am »

No shit, fuck him. He fucked up. If and when he's rehabilitated, he can come back and join society. He probably won't be able to play in the NFL, but neither am I. Maybe he had join one of those ultimate fighting leagues.

Some Arena Football League team will pick him up.
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Nabubrush

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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #546 on: August 22, 2007, 02:44:05 am »

Some Arena Football League team will pick him up.

It would be delicious if he got picked up by the Alaska Wild.
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melack

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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #547 on: August 22, 2007, 01:54:45 pm »

So you might notice that in the baseball league, the top three teams now have an asterisk next to their (our) names. At first I thought this might be due to some recently surfaced evidence suggesting players we've used over the course of the season are under suspicion of doing the steroids. I know I've had Jason Giambi on my team! But alas, it's just to show that we've clinched a playoff spot. Our records are only as tainted as our most shameful players make them (Youkilis for his hideous beard and hilarious batting stance, Moises Alou for peeing on his hands and Gary Sheffield for being batshit insane, respectivey).

AugustWest

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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #548 on: August 22, 2007, 02:57:19 pm »

Well, if he is allowed back in the NFL, can it be anything but a windfall for Al Davis?
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Nabubrush

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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #549 on: August 24, 2007, 12:27:24 am »

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jaydub

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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #550 on: August 24, 2007, 04:07:05 am »

Hockey fights are the weirdest things.  You're on the worst possible footing, your opponent is padded, if you lose your balance you might as well be taking a header onto concrete, and the strategy is to tie the other guys hands up so you can get clear shots at his head within the 5 seconds or so you're alloted by the refs.  Its even more arcane than boxing.
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Nabubrush

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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #551 on: August 24, 2007, 06:44:21 pm »

Hockey fights are the weirdest things.  You're on the worst possible footing, your opponent is padded, if you lose your balance you might as well be taking a header onto concrete, and the strategy is to tie the other guys hands up so you can get clear shots at his head within the 5 seconds or so you're alloted by the refs.  Its even more arcane than boxing.

You are actually more-or-less allowed as much time until one of you is down on the ice and can no longer defend yourself. If you're lucky and the benches clear, you can get into some serious ass-whipping, especially if the goalies get involved.
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Nabubrush

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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #552 on: August 24, 2007, 07:00:27 pm »

There's also Clint Malarchuk.

Warning: Not safe if you have ever had food in your stomach.
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Carlos del Vaca

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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #553 on: August 24, 2007, 07:08:11 pm »

There's also Clint Malarchuk.

Warning: Not safe if you have ever had food in your stomach.

Yeah, I remember this one.  Highly unpleasant.  The arena had an ambulance parked at that end of the building, and they were able to hustle him out and get him medical attention.  They said if he'd had to go the length of the ice to get to it (i.e. if he'd been in the other net), he probably would have bled out.
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melack

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Re: Pretend Sports
« Reply #554 on: August 24, 2007, 07:20:18 pm »

Okay, so the length of this thread has me wondering something. What's the longest non-baby updates thread in the history of TOUAMB?
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