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[littlefallsmets]

Basically the premise of this post is to discuss the misunderstandings we had about sex and the opposite gender when we were kids.

Elsewhere not long ago, we discussed the extent to which our parents did or did not educate us sexually. These items provided insight into the human sexual condition as well as into the strange nature of Western Civilization's complex feelings about sex.

I can start this one as well:

When I was a child, I understood that ladies had pu$$ys but nobody explained to me that there was a tiny pee hole in that area as well and I had to try and deduce out how a girl peed. I roughly decided that it must just come out of her butt as well, sort of like when I had diarreha. This is what I figured tampons and pads were about, controlling the conditions brought on by that fact.

My college roommate said that he misunderstood the same thing but believed that women somehow just peed directly out of their wombs because... logically... boys seemed to directly pee out of their sex part so it only made sense.

My girlfriend, as a child, having only seen men's genitals in sex education literature given to her by her OBGYN-nurse mother... believed that the testicles each had their own individual scrotum and was shocked when she found out different. It seemed that all the pictures she saw were face-on and the c*ck always blocked the detail where you would see that a man's rad chiles lived together in the same house.

When very very young, like, twelve? I believed that if you accidentally tasted your own semen... such as getting tangled up in your sheets after a nocturnal admission? That THAT was how you got AIDS.

I have no idea where I got that one, I must have conflated what little I knew about male homosexuality with what little I knew about AIDS and just created it out of whole cloth. I didn't believe it for long.

Anyone else have any interesting stories of such misunderstandings?

[slink]

When I was a child, I understood that ladies had pu$$ys but nobody explained to me that there was a tiny pee hole in that area as well and I had to try and deduce out how a girl peed.

I guess, as testiment to how well brought up I was in regards to sex and biology, I always knew this. I have no idea how I learned that fact but I spent half an hour or so, I recall, at age 7 or 8 I guess, trying to persuade my best friend that indeed, women peed from that same place. He wouldn't have it, despite knowing very little about any of it. As I say, I have no idea how I did. I have no idea if I was even 8, as it's one of those memories where all I remember is walking down the stairs at his house telling him this.

While it doesn't fall under the sex category, my brother was told as a child that adults have about eight pints of blood in them. Up until a remarkably late age, I guess around 11 or 12, he would panic every time he cut himself, or had a nose bleed. Irrationally so in fact. Of course, it turned out my parents hadn't told him you create blood every day to replace that which is lost... A small oversight, but an important one it transpires.

[linnea]

When I was a kid I didn't understand about veins until my parents got an encyclopedia book that had transparent color plates with different systems of the body. Before then, I assumed that we were big bags of blood splashing around, and I was scared of blood because I thought it meant all your blood would leak out and you'd die.

The other stuff I remember is mostly just hearsay that I heard around the playground and definitely forgettable. Like when a neighbor girl told me that a blow job is when a girl shampoos and blow-dries her pubic hair to impress her boyfriend.

[coldfrog]

I used to think that if you urinated on a girl she would never have children again.  Don't ask me why I thought this, I have no idea.  It really made no sense once I actually learned anything.

[Muse_Of_Fire]

I dunno if this counts as a "misunderstanding" per se; but I never ever went through a phase where I thought boys had "cooties." I always liked hanging out with them just as much as with the girls; and I was also a notorious flirt even at a very young age. I had "boyfriends" in kindergarten, and would make these boys sit next to me at snack time and hold hands with me, and I would tell everyone that so-n-so was my "boyfriend."

My parents and kindergarten teachers all thought this was hilarious. The boys tolerated it, because usually after a good sitting-by and hand-holding session at snack time, I'd really put out and go play Star Wars with them on the playground. Every man's fantasy, I know.

My girlfriends were confounded by this: "Ewwww! Muse! How can you play with Patrick?! He's got coooooooooooooties!" They were utterly scandalized, but I just never saw the logic in "cooties." What the heck was a cootie anyway? I remember looking very closesly at boys' skin, faces, arms, legs, trying to see if I could spot a cootie. And since playing Star Wars and Transformers with them was fun, and I never got sick or anything from it, I figured my girlfriends were just being snobs. Besides, all they ever wanted to do was play stupid dolls.

Although playing dress-up with the girls was fun. As long as I got the long pink princess gown and the biggest tiara in the box.

Contradictions abound.

This fascination with boys continued all through my growing up. I was the big heartbreaker all through elementary school, and I spent most of my recess time chasing boys. Of course I never thought about what I might do if I actually caught one--it just never occurred to me to plan beyond the chase, I suppose. Thankfully I never had to worry about it since they were all too fast for me (apparently I had cooties). My girlfriends would always tease me and say I was "boy crazy" and I would just shrug and go, "Yeah?" as if to say, "Isn't everybody?"

Kind of like when my classmates would tease me for having a large vocabulary by saying, "Ha ha, you probably read the dictionary," and I'd look at them nonplussed and go, "Uh huh." (Doesn't everybody?)

By middle school and high school I was quite the gregarious flirt. It started to suck once the boys started to like it and respond, because now I was responsible for hurting their feelings if I rejected them. That sucked, because I'm a really gregarious person and I like making people happy. Now that my friendliness was actually hurting people, hoo boy. I had to come up with a new strategy. I have always been boy crazy but ironically, I've never been a ho.

At the risk of oversharing, I was a virgin until I was 24. And not for lack of trying by my boyfriends.

[littlefallsmets]

I was a virgin until I was 24. And not for lack of trying by my boyfriends.

Ah, no shame in that. I'll TMI so that you don't feel too bad...

I was a virgin until I was 20, myself... and my lady was the one who had to initiate because, like, (a.) as a dude trying to be sensitive I basically can't make the first moves at all and (b.) because I have hell of body issues that used to make me very body-shy.

Mostly because I'm a little heavy but also because I have a bad back and stuff.

And I am still with the same lady. So you can do the math there, haha.

But she treats me good so I am not a Dude With Large Regrets.

[Doc]

I can't remember when I figured it out but I never understood what euthenasia in the news meant. I thought it just meant that kids in china were rioting a lot or something.

re: virginity and being with lady's (while we're sharing), I'm still with the lovely lady who stole my sweet innocence away. My sweet, sexy innocence.
I only mention this because  it seems a lot of people agree that staying with the first person to defile you is a Bad Idea but I'm basically too happy to chuck it because of fear I'm not getting enough variety in my banging. What are the board's thoughts on this?

[theinevitable]

the girl who stole my sweet innocence... actually was kind of every negative "Eve" archetype. I do not like that girl very much. That was such a bad scene for me.

Since then, it has been All/Only Smooches, All the Time. Largely because since that first girl, the type I am most attracted to seems to be "girl you can't imagine getting it on with anyone, ever."

I am surprised, my "girls I have smooched" number is higher than my "girlfriends I have had" number, as of recently.

TMI out!

[chuanoplast]

Sad but true: One of my friends who is almost twenty didn't know that girls peed and pooped out of different holes until I told him a couple of months ago.

[robot_god]

At about two, I deduced that a boy would grow up to be a man, but a girl could grow up to be a man or a woman.  I guess I thought this because everything in society seemed to say that men are superior to women, so this seemed to be logical.  One day, while driving through a tollbooth, I told my mother this information and she claimed that it was erroneous.

[theinevitable]

wow.
yeah, one of my friends seemed to think, until recently, that "anal sex" and "doing it from behind" were the same. It was pretty awkward when I drew a diagram for him to explain the difference. He, of course, got flustered and claimed that he knew that, of course.

he actually said something about "both holes going to the same place." Which was... confusing. I try not to think about it.

[Nabubrush]

At about two, I deduced that a boy would grow up to be a man, but a girl could grow up to be a man or a woman.  I guess I thought this because everything in society seemed to say that men are superior to women, so this seemed to be logical.  One day, while driving through a tollbooth, I told my mother this information and she claimed that it was erroneous.

See, to me that indicates that women are superior to men.

[Doc]

And as the news box reminds us isn't too far from the truth if you reverse age the subject back to gestation.

[Nabubrush]

And as the news box reminds us isn't too far from the truth if you reverse age the subject back to gestation.

I read something somewhere referring to that "fact" and saying that it's basically hair-splitting. In other words, it's not definitive whether ladies start as men or men start as ladies or some weird genderless freaks eventually change to men or ladies depending on genetics.

[Doc]

Well yeah, I mean you either get your x and y or double x, so your set from the start. But the other explanation is more useful for fueling baseless sexist competitiveness.