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[AugustWest]

Izzat you, Jough?

http://fazed.net/forum/?p=slorum&last=1&id=6073

[jough]

Ah, my old Fluxus group would be proud.

We used to do a thing we called "Dada Terrorisim" which wouldn't involve smuggling items into a store (although some people did some creative re-arranging of can labels - like replacing Hormel's Chili and Alpo Dog Food labels, etc.) but we would re-arrange merchandise in ways that were more useful to the average consumer.

For instance, we'd place Immodium AD next to the pre-packaged burritos, put No-Doz next to the sleeping pills (in case anyone wanted neutral alertness), desegregate the six packs of soda so that they weren't all of the same kind, and then of course just go for the absurd - heads of lettuce among the automotive items, Bottled Water in with the iced cream (which would be Bottled Ice after awhile), loaves of bread just about anywhere.

It's amazing how much you can get away with during very busy business hours.  Most amateurs make the mistake of going very late at night, but that's when the store is empty and the people stocking shelves have nothing better to do than to hassle you.  Better to do it during very busy hours.

My friend Kenny's favourite thing was cleaning and straightening a store.  He'd go in and just go up and down every aisle during the middle of the afternoon facing the product, making sure everything was all nice and neat, chastising the customers if they messed up something he'd just neatened.  He wore a blue apron just like the store clerks did (although his didn't have the name of the store on it) and everyone just assumed he worked there, including some of the people who worked there.

He'd use the break room, clock in and out (I don't know whose punch card he used to clock in and out, but I'd imagine that person got some extra money in their paycheque) and go home.  He did this just about every week day for an entire summer once.  He found it more satisfying than a real job.

[jay-ell]

That is extremely awesome.  If I weren't an uncreative person with too little time on her hands and a pathological fear of getting arrested, I'd be right there with you.

[AlohaDawg]

The writing that went with the bears absolutely rules.

[V-Adore]

Yeah, the advice about busy-ness is extremely appropriate. I've never tried this (and doubt I ever will -- I'm too Lawful Neutral, I suppose </geek>) but I distinctly remember my own experience with going to a store at the wrong time and getting stared at.

It was 10:30 PM on New Year's Eve 2000, and five of us, all obviously underage, were trying to buy margarita salt from the local Hy-Vee. Not anything alcoholic, mind you -- just margarita salt. (One of the guys involved really wanted to drink non-alcoholic margaritas for some damn reason.) They eventually sold it to us, but they spent the entire time staring at us, given as we were the only customers in the store and were all buying something that was at least sort of morally dubious.

(The non-alcoholic margaritas were not worth it at all.)

[jough]

I feel the same way about decaf coffee or non-alcoholic beer.  What's the point?

[AlohaDawg]

I've always supposed myself to be chaotic good. And although decaf coffee and alcohol free beer make no sense, I'm all for crotchless panties.

[jough]

The few times I played my friends suggested I be "chaotic neutral" as it fit my personality the best.  I don't know enough about AD&D 2nd ed. to know whether that was an insult or not.

And I always played as a Ranger named "Prufrock."

Wild times, boys.

[jay-ell]

My mom wouldn't let me play D&D because it was satanic.

[AugustWest]

I took a solemn vow when I was a freshman in college, some 20 years ago now, that I would never again engage in a discussion of what "alignment" I am.

Over these past 20 years I have remained faithful to that oath.  I don't intend to break it now.

[V-Adore]

And I always played as a Ranger named "Prufrock."

Did he wear the bottom of his chainmail rolled?

Anyway, I do not normally discuss my alignment. That would be metagaming, anyway.

this would not be the time to mention I once made a "GURPS" character sheet for myself   stone dorky

[jay-ell]

Thank you, V-Adore.  You've just pushed this board's geek quotient over the world's record mark.  Anyone who can successfully reference D&D and T.S. Eliot in the same breath deserves our respect.  

Respect her!

[CortJstr]

Thank you, V-Adore.  You've just pushed this board's geek quotient over the world's record mark.  Anyone who can successfully reference D&D and T.S. Eliot in the same breath deserves our respect.  

Respect her!

Blast you! I will regain my status as biggest dork on the board!

Um, remember that song In the Garage? Well in my bedroom I indeed had a 12-sided die, a Dungeon Master's Guide, and Kitty Pryde. Nightcrawler too. Waiting there for me.

I've worn temporary tattoos that say "DORK"! To my office job! And at a show! I tried to pick up girls like this!

Right now I'm reading Dune: The Machine Crusade!

I've had detailed discussions as to why Brock Lesnar should play Venom in Spider-man 3!

Respect my dorkiness!

[jay-ell]

Nah, don't stress, CortJstr.  The geekiness quotient is the aggregate amount, not V's individual geekiness.  

Each of you is special in his or her own way.

[jough]

Actually, I pushed the geek quotient towards both Eliot and AD&D by mentioning that my character was named Prufrock.  I figured many would get the reference, after all, since they force pretty much everyone to read that poem.

But all you have to do is look at the www part of this here domain to know I'm a big poetry geek.  So V-Adore gets special props for bringing the noize.

Thank you, V-Adore.  You've just pushed this board's geek quotient over the world's record mark.  Anyone who can successfully reference D&D and T.S. Eliot in the same breath deserves our respect.  

Respect her!