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[MattFish]

St. Robert, eh?

I guess y'all got your answer. Now to answer the eternal question: How DOES one class up cornbread mix?

My "Breast Man" cocktail is coming along, by the way. It should be done pretty soon.

There seems to be a typo in Leon's signature, the initials obviously stand for Brian Wheat; as has been proven, however the B is a P for some reason. Prian?

[CortJstr]

St. Robert, eh?

I guess y'all got your answer. Now to answer the eternal question: How DOES one class up cornbread mix?

Throw it away and buy something that doesn't taste terrible.

[littlefallsmets]

"haircuts that take took long"? I... assume that's a typo in the alt-text?

I am a big fan of how Ray is shocked and bemused at his own ad-lib about being an amateur automobile historian. The arrogance of a man knowing that his subconscious mind is probably more interesting than his conscious mind is always good.

The way I generally hear of people classing up a cornbread mix is finely chopping some hot peppers and mixing them in. Or putting honey straight into the mix as opposed to drizzling it on top later.

I am fine with cornbread, I will eat it if it is put in front of me, but I would take it or leave it.

[Arachno-capitalist]

HILARIOUS!

Also one can class up cornbread with various kinds of southern gravy, marijuana, bacon, and many kinds of cheese (including cream cheese and cottage cheese).
If ray can ride Leon Sumbitches for $25 or more he will have won the internet.

::sidebar:: ray's words about working together reminded me of this weekend when i couldn't get into my dorm room and had to ask my r.a. to open it. In the process of waiting for him to open my door my friend ripped down an 8 foot poster about oppression in 3rd world countries. The ra responded "Dude what the hell are you doing!?"
"Oh sorry... Lets put it back up... together."

[Nabubrush]

Now to answer the eternal question: How DOES one class up cornbread mix?

Obviously you eat cinnamon rolls with icing instead. I have decided that I inspired this little bit. Also, the typo's fixed.

[Muse_Of_Fire]

I love Ray. And I feel I have a deeper understanding of him now, through this story. I no longer fear for the welfare of his Aibos.

I don't work much in cornbread mix, but here's how I might class it up if I were on Iron Chef (NB: I have never actually tried these, and therefore assume no responsibility for any gastronomic misfortune that may arise from attempting these culinary ideas which are, at time of publication, merely theoretical in nature):

1. Tex-Mex Hash.

Combine cornbread mix with necessary ingredients for batter per label instructions. Add to batter one can black beans (drained) and 1/4 cup chunky salsa. Mix well. Bake in shallow tart pan until cornbread batter is set. Top with grated cheddar and/or monterey jack and put under salamander until bubbly. Cut into wedges. Serve with strips of cactus, sour cream, and additional salsa to taste.

2. Poor Man's Polenta.

Make cornbread batter per label instructions. Bake cornbread in a jelly roll pan. Cut into squares. Use as a base for sauteed tomatoes, onions, and basil; or duxelles. Top with freshly grated parmesan.

3. "Big Easy" Ice Cream Cake

Make cornbread batter per label instructions. Bake cornbread in a jelly roll pan. Meanwhile, set out a carton of butter pecan ice cream to soften. When bread is cool enough to handle, turn out onto work surface prepared with parchment, wax paper, or a clean dish towel. Spread ice cream on bread and roll into a jelly roll. Freeze to set.

Option: sautee sliced bananas in butter, cinnamon, and sugar (amounts to taste). Saute until soft and slightly caramelized. Deglaze pan with brandy or cognac. Flame alcohol. Top cake with banana sauce.

[MattFish]

Also, the typo's fixed.

Maybe the alt text, but Prian Wheat still seems to be there.

also: Bacon Months.

I don't work much in cornbread mix, but here's how I might class it up if I were on Iron Chef (NB: I have never actually tried these, and therefore assume no responsibility for any gastronomic misfortune that may arise from attempting these culinary ideas which are, at time of publication, merely theoretical in nature):

Oh wow. Oh wow.

[littlefallsmets]

Also, if you're talking firm cornbread, taking some bacon and cheese and egg and making a fresher version of a MacDonalds breakfast sandwich is a pretty awesome way to slowly die.

Especially if we're talking about frying the cornbread in butter before sandwichifaction.

Similarly, real maple syrup makes anything better. Back home, you could get fresh maple syrup, right from the farmer's house if you were willing to pay a little extra for it and... man... worth it. Drizzle that on some bacon and HOLY SHIT.

It is like the "Sky Blue Sky" of deadly breakfast treats.

[linnea]

I love plain cornbread. I hate it when people put jalapeņos or whole corn or creamed corn or other crap into it.

[Muse_Of_Fire]

Oh wow. Oh wow.

Oh dear. Did I do something wrong or offensive? Did I display my Nerd Plumage too prominently? What are you "Oh wowing"?


*paranoid*

[littlefallsmets]

I assumed it was like "Oh, wow, thank you for all the information, internet person!"

I can't imagine being offended by a large amount of cornbread recipes.

Unless your parents were... mugged and killed by a piece of cornbread as you were walking home from a screening of Zorro. Which is, admittedly, quite nearly impossible.

[MattFish]

Prian Wheat got fixed. I just love it when these things happen and I get to be a part of it.

yeah, I was just in awe of the off-the-cuff theoretical cornbread upgrades

[Muse_Of_Fire]

Ah. Well I'm deeply flattered. Thank you, Mattgiraffe!

Incidentally, if anyone decides to try any of these cornbread options, let me know how they turn out. I'm curious.

As a total aside, there is a simple card game called "Chez Geek" that basically celebrates and mocks geek culture, simultaneously. It is set in a college setting, so you have cards like... well, here is a link. Anyhow, there is one card in there called "She Who Cooks," and it gives you a bonus to something, I don't recall what; but basically it's the girlfriend who can cook anything out of anything. The tagline on the card is, "You have frozen corn and ketchup packets? Why didn't you say so?" Some friends and I used to play this game on occasion, and shortly after we started, I came to be known as "She Who Cooks." I really have fun looking at a random set of ingredients and trying to come up with a recipe to use them. One of my lifelong dreams is to be on Iron Chef. I totally enjoy the challenge. So yeah... that's one of the many ways I'm nerdy.

I'm curious to see how long Ray is going to play this out. How will it resolve?

[Bobby Isosceles]

The subtle overnight replacement to correct "P.W. A.H.B.P." with "B.W. A.H.B.P" has been noted.

[MattFish]

The subtle overnight replacement to correct "P.W. A.H.B.P." with "B.W. A.H.B.P" has been noted.

Prian Wheat got fixed.

Yes. By me. Already.