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@achewood "Awww yeah who is CATHOLIC up in this piece?!?!" -- you never hear that any more.

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Author Topic: March 12th, 2007: for you have the patience of Christ as he waited for Robert.  (Read 8512 times)

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littlefallsmets

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Quote from: Nabubrush drinks (a lot)
Pronounced "Khaaanbread"?

If by that you mean how Chris Rock would say "cornbread"... sure.

If by that you mean how William Shatner would say "cornbread"... not so much.
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linnea

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I like how Ray is playing this but I have no idea what cornbread is as I have only seen it in american movies? What is it's texture, it's density? Is it bready as the name implies or more like an english muffin, is it some sort of wheaty spongecake? I cannot imagine it being sweet, though the whole concept reminds me of pumpkin scones (which are simply the best use you can put a pumpkin to by the way).

Oh hells no!  Cornbread is awesome and a much-loved food in the South. Southern American food can be very tasty. My mom is Southern and grew up poor, so she ate cornbread at almost every meal of her life and thusly hates it and never prepared it for us. I love it, though. I am not sure if there are any Southerners from America in Queensland, but I bet you could cook up a batch of cornbread from a recipe and it would be just as good.

It's got a texture similar to yellow cake, but it has ground corn in with the flour so it has a different texture. It is slightly sweet, but very good. I highly recommend cornbread.
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Nabubrush

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Actually, sometimes the bread part is pronounced more like "bret".
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AugustWest

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Please, more of you exteme Yankees tell us all about the whys and wherefores of Southern Cornbread!  Maybe we can get someone who lives at the actual North Pole to tell us about Southern culture...
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littlefallsmets

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Alton Brown is our token Southerner and we're pretty much just spouting his words back.

It has worked well for Northern and Far-Western food nerds for a long time now, giving us just enough rope on the topic of Southern cuisine without having to actually produce effort.

No point in stopping now.
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Nabubrush

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Please, more of you exteme Yankees tell us all about the whys and wherefores of Southern Cornbread!  Maybe we can get someone who lives at the actual North Pole to tell us about Southern culture...

Ahh, thank you for the gracious invitation - I've just been waiting for that!

Shit, forgot to wind the ol' sarcasm detector again.
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littlefallsmets

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Quote from: Nabubrush drinks (a lot)
Shit, forgot to wind the ol' sarcasm detector again.

Southern sarcasm is pretty much the subtlest sarcasm of all.

It is as though sarcasm down there isn't intended to actually be understood by the target, as if it is just a private joke amoungst Southerners and you're not SUPPOSED to know they're making fun of you.

Everywhere I have lived, sarcasm is intended to directly hurt the target. He or she is supposed to know what is going on and be hurt. Southern sarcasm, you're not supposed to know they're being sarcastic, that's how subtle it is. That's why you go back to Myrtle Beach the next year.

"Oh, we love having Northern Catholics at our hotel. No one around here actually believes that the Pope is a lizard-man and you follow him blindly, that is totally a joke. If a papist like you were president, there is no way we would ever blow your head off in Dallas. That's just silly. Also, don't forget to buy M-80s in the giftshop."

You would think, on paper, that upon hearing that, you would completely understand the sarcasm.

But they are just that good at sarcasm. They would find just the right tone of voice where that would not only not be offensive but you would also buy some extra bottle rockets on the way out, just because they were so nice and polite.
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Lister

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Cornbread must be prepared in a cast iron skillet which has been preheating in the oven.  Mix up the batter, get the skillet out, put it over flame, pop some butter in and cook the water out, then (before the butter burns) in goes the batter.  This puts a crust on all sides, which is wunnerful.

Of course, cornbread's ultimate dream is to be a part of cornbread dressing, which is in advanced class.  You can only learn how to make that from old ladies.

Also, LFM has discovered my secret to Insulting People Who I Still Need To Like Me.  Dammit.
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theinevitable

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(my mother's friend, visiting and planning on moving to SC): "you know, the one thing I haven't seen since I've been in South Carolina is a real Southern Mansion! You know, a plantation, ante-bellum, one of those big white houses like in Gone with the Wind"
her husband: yeah! That'd be great!
Realtor: "Funny y'all want to see 'em... y'all Yankees burnt 'em all down."
"oh. well. *they end up not moving to SC.*"
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AugustWest

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Southern sarcasm is pretty much the subtlest sarcasm of all.

It is as though sarcasm down there isn't intended to actually be understood by the target, as if it is just a private joke amoungst Southerners and you're not SUPPOSED to know they're making fun of you.

Everywhere I have lived, sarcasm is intended to directly hurt the target. He or she is supposed to know what is going on and be hurt. Southern sarcasm, you're not supposed to know they're being sarcastic, that's how subtle it is. That's why you go back to Myrtle Beach the next year.

"Oh, we love having Northern Catholics at our hotel. No one around here actually believes that the Pope is a lizard-man and you follow him blindly, that is totally a joke. If a papist like you were president, there is no way we would ever blow your head off in Dallas. That's just silly. Also, don't forget to buy M-80s in the giftshop."

You would think, on paper, that upon hearing that, you would completely understand the sarcasm.

But they are just that good at sarcasm. They would find just the right tone of voice where that would not only not be offensive but you would also buy some extra bottle rockets on the way out, just because they were so nice and polite.

Congratulations on deciphering level 3 of Southern Cultural Sarcasm.  Only 6 levels left to figger out.  Y'all come back now, y'hear!
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linnea

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Please, more of you exteme Yankees tell us all about the whys and wherefores of Southern Cornbread!  Maybe we can get someone who lives at the actual North Pole to tell us about Southern culture...

I think that AW is still miffed that I said the 24-year-old impostor professor on Wikipedia was a yokel from Kentucky.
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iron_felix

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The last 48 hours on these boards have pretty much been hell for me.  I am out of food in my apartment except for a block of cheese and some cereal*, and too lazy to go shopping for more, and it seems like every single damn thread has been about food or has veered onto that topic at some point.  I don't know how much more of this I can take... I think if I read one more food-related thread I will be forced to eat my keyboard.  This is evidenced by the fact that even a thread about cornbread is making me hungry.

There was some author - I think it was Daniel Pinkwater - who described the phenomenon where in any group of kids at the movies, one kid will always get the idea to stick his bag of popcorn under a water fountain and fill it up such that it turns into inedible mush, at which point the kid tries it and throws up.  I have never done this, but I have eaten cornbread.  Actually, cornbread is nothing like that.  All cornbread I have tasted has been incredibly dry and endowed with the popcorn-like quality of inducing mad crazy thirst.

The taste is okay, but kind of bland.  Perhaps my cornbread experiences would have been better were they not limited to dorm room feasts of cornbread and... more cornbread.  Is it one of those foods like saltines that just isn't meant to be served as a main course?  On the other hand, I have never been a huge fan of whole or partially corn-derived foodstuffs anyway, although thanks to federal subsidies that includes basically everything these days.

* Wait, no!  I have some Tuscan bean soup!  In a bag!  Excuse me, I'll be back in a little while.
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AugustWest

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I think that AW is still miffed that I said the 24-year-old impostor professor on Wikipedia was a yokel from Kentucky.

Harrumph.
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Ruta Bagas

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yellow cake

Cornbread was starting to sound pretty damn good until I saw it described in terms I am used to hearing used in reference to urinal deodorant blocks.

Arachno-capitalist

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Cornbread was starting to sound pretty damn good until I saw it described in terms I am used to hearing used in reference to urinal deodorant blocks.

yellow cake is also uranium concentrate.
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