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[Bobby Isosceles]

All anus is equally bad.

I thought we covered this.

Anus, toilet paper.
Anus, toilet paper.

Circle gets the square.

[MattFish]

A-HA CUNT WEEPS

[Teldin]

APE CHEWS TUNA.

I love this thing.

[robot_god]

For me, it is Morgan Freeman that narrates the fine posts of littlefallsmets, and this is something I greatly enjoy.

Oh damn that is quality.  That is real good.

[littlefallsmets]

For me, it is Morgan Freeman that narrates the fine posts of littlefallsmets.

Huh.

At first, I thought you said Morgan FAIRCHILD. Such as the woman voted Sexiest Woman in America by People Magazine in two different years of the James K. Polk presidency and is... somehow still alive.

And I read a few of my posts and I was like "All right. It's a weird choice but I see it."

But now that I know you meant Morgan FREEMAN, you're really close to what I actually intend.

When I start writing in fever-dream flourishes, as opposed to Conversational Internet, I'm writing imagining it being read by a different actor from Shawshank Redemption. When I start getting outlandish, it sounds like it is being read by veteran character actor James Whitmore.

The dude who played "Brooks the Old Guy" in Shawshank.

Specifically, when he did the voicework for Mark Twain in Will Vinton's mid-Eighties Claymation epic "The Adventures of Mark Twain" which is both the darkest most fucked-up children's movies ever and one of the ten best movies ever made.

But you got that it was a Shawshank actor. That's surprisingly close to the target.

Go back and read it with that voice in your head. Cool, huh?

Tangentally, when I am talking in Conversational Internet, I intend to sound like Adam Goldberg's character in "Dazed and Confused", Mike Newhouse. That's probably less interesting, though.

[Nabubrush]

Huh.

At first, I thought you said Morgan FAIRCHILD. Such as the woman voted Sexiest Woman in America by People Magazine in two different years of the James K. Polk presidency and is... somehow still alive.

And I read a few of my posts and I was like "All right. It's a weird choice but I see it."

But now that I know you meant Morgan FREEMAN, you're really close to what I actually intend.

When I start writing in fever-dream flourishes, as opposed to Conversational Internet, I'm writing imagining it being read by a different actor from Shawshank Redemption. When I start getting outlandish, it sounds like it is being read by veteran character actor James Whitmore.

The dude who played "Brooks the Old Guy" in Shawshank.

Specifically, when he did the voicework for Mark Twain in Will Vinton's mid-Eighties Claymation epic "The Adventures of Mark Twain" which is both the darkest most fucked-up children's movies ever and one of the ten best movies ever made.

Check this out!

But you got that it was a Shawshank actor. That's surprisingly close to the target.

Go back and read it with that voice in your head. Cool, huh?

Tangentally, when I am talking in Conversational Internet, I intend to sound like Adam Goldberg's character in "Dazed and Confused", Mike Newhouse. That's probably less interesting, though.

Seriously, though - do you presently have like a 106 degree fever?

[littlefallsmets]

No one piece of literature or media in any form has gone more towards shaping my personality than "The Adventures of Mark Twain". Parents of TOUAMB, if you want your kids to turn out like me, make sure that they see that film many times when very young...

Much too young to understand a movie about an old man attempting to fly into the heart of a comet on a steampunk airship and commit suicide because he can't live anymore now that his wife is dead.

Oh... and his dark side is manifest on the airship, trying to stop him from committing suicide because his dark side doubts if there is an afterlife. Oh... and the children who stow away on his ship run into Satan, who builds and slaughters a village before their eyes.

And the love story of Adam and Eve is heartbreaking told through the spectrum of that suicidal widower's mindset. And a scene where his dark side plays a pipe organ where the airholes on the pipe are the faces of wailing damned souls.

Have your six year old watch that a coupla times a year and check out what happens.

You will know it is working because your child will be awesome.

[Nabubrush]

I think if you just click my link above, you will know that your children must watch it.

[theinevitable]

I think it says something significant about me that... I am scared to watch this thing Now. as a legal adult.

[KeithHernandez]

I am taking some e next week.

I think I shall rent this.

[AugustWest]

RAY SMUCKLES =

MY SLACK USER
CREAMY SULKS
SLY RUM CAKES
YACKS LEMURS
SKY CLAM USER
ASK MY ULCERS
AM SLY SUCKER
YUM ASS CLERK

and last but far from least

MY SACK RULES

[V-Adore]

ANT WAS PUCE, EH?

[AugustWest]

PETER CROPES

CREEPER STOP
ROPE SPECTRE
RE PET CORPSE

[AugustWest]

PAT REYNOLDS -

DA STYLE PORN
A NERDLY SPOT
TYPO SNARLED
LOS PEDANTRY
SLY PRATED ON
NOTE SPRY LAD
NOR LADYS PET
NO LARD PESTY
LAD PORN YES (T) almost, dammit!

[coldfrog]

Roast Beef Kazenzakis -

a beer fizzes; Oak tanks.