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@achewood "Supporting" bacon is easy. Who's going to get on the mayonnaise bandwagon with me?

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Author Topic: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.  (Read 12779 times)

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side_show

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Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #30 on: December 22, 2007, 03:59:47 pm »

It's more the rats that I'd worry about.

This reminds me, for no other reason other than that it's disgusting and involved animals:  The SO and I' pulled into a parking lot, and saw some chickadee's going crazy over something they were eating.  To my horror, as we drew closer, we realized it was a McNugget.  Noooooo!
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Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #31 on: December 22, 2007, 04:47:35 pm »

My sister's cockatiels go NUTS over scrambled eggs. I can't decide if it amuses me, or makes me kinda sad.
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theinevitable

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Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #32 on: December 22, 2007, 06:21:52 pm »

I just read a comic yesterday where the guy realizes that the pigeons in front of him are going nuts over a fried chicken leg. He gets mad at them, and throws it down a gutter.

The comic was so bad and pretentious that it made me mad.
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Carlos del Vaca

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Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #33 on: December 26, 2007, 02:43:20 pm »

I always loved this commercial.

Good, but I prefer Snausages.  In fact, to this day I am almost incapable of saying the word "sausage."
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Turbo Ninja

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Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #34 on: December 27, 2007, 04:26:20 pm »

Has anyone tried the bacon chocolate bar?

I bet Bobby's tried it, because he's King Fuck-All of Flitch, the Prince of Pancetta, and there's nothing new under the applewood-smoked sun that you could possibly ever share with him that wouldn't bore him to tears - greasy, pork-scented tears. 

His friends (at least 20 of them) have also tried it, because they too are at the bleeding cleaver's edge of all things rasher-related and bacon-borne.  But don't tell him about it or ask any questions because the Lord of the Lardon is bored by your attempts to enjoy bacon at the same level he does.  Know that you'll be the 21st person to engage him in a collop klatch, and you're probably not even going to do it over IRC so that makes you even MORE behind the times.

We can only wait and hope that Bobby will bless us with his review of the bacon chocolate bar (plus his reasons for hating it and preferring an obviously-superior competitor you've never heard of), because his is the One True Opinion in all matters of cured meat.  Anything else will be met with Bobby's scorn and ridicule, followed by a condescending suggestion that you leave him alone.

« Last Edit: December 27, 2007, 08:14:26 pm by Turbo Ninja »
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wombat

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Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #35 on: December 27, 2007, 04:42:23 pm »

Yeah. I miss him too.

The bacon chocolate bar turns out to be milk chocolate - this seems even more wrong than if it were dark chocolate. The only way I can describe it is that it tastes confusing. It does not strike me as a brilliant new combination that is more than the sum of its parts, or anything.
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Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #36 on: December 27, 2007, 05:00:58 pm »

There's an ice cream place in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware that serves a bacon ice cream.

I didn't try it.
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Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #37 on: December 27, 2007, 05:09:53 pm »

You know, I've seen that ice cream many times and never even asked for a taste, and now I'm sorry. Oh well, next summer. I think bacon and ice cream will end up being wrong too, though. There has to be some way to make a bacon sweet, because bacon is really good with maple syrup, but it doesn't seem like anyone's done it right yet.
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AugustWest

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Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #38 on: December 27, 2007, 05:23:42 pm »

Yeah. I miss him too.

Cans for both of you!

And for Bobby, if he shows.
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theinevitable

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Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #39 on: December 27, 2007, 06:57:55 pm »

apparently one of those Molecular Gastronomy guys made Bacon Ice Cream as an early experiment, and found out that the fat freezes in a way that screws up the texture and makes it weirdly frozen-greasy. Maybe these people have figured out how to fix this.

Lately I am thinking that I will stop eating pork. 1. Pigs are apparently pretty smart and emotional and stuff. 2. Lately when I look at ham, it is just gross to me. It's too pink and flesh-looking. Bacon is rad, but I might give it up so that there is one unhealthy thing in the world that I don't eat, and also for reason 1.
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Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #40 on: December 27, 2007, 07:02:43 pm »

I love pigs in all their forms. They are utterly charming when alive but if they're so smart, they really ought to figure out how not to be so delicious.
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Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #41 on: December 27, 2007, 07:04:52 pm »

now that I am off of ham, I think it would be pretty easy to get off of pork altogether. I like turkey sausage, and hotdogs and salami and such come in Kosher varieties which are delicious. The best sandwich I have ever had was a Kosher Salami sandwich at this Jewish deli in St Louis. I put cheese on it, though, so it was not kosher any more.
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Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #42 on: December 27, 2007, 07:34:17 pm »

bacon ice cream, bacon chocolate.

Everyone wants to create the next big thing in food, but all of the great combinations have already been created.  See also fried shit at the state fair.

Also, can for tn.

Also again, ti, are you jewish now?
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Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #43 on: December 27, 2007, 07:40:17 pm »

The other night I watched the episode of Anthony Bourdain's "A Cook's Tour" where he goes to his boss's family farm in Portugal for the big pig feast.  They slaughter a pig and use every single bit of it in some dish or other.

And it all looked delicious.  So those who say they're going to stop eating pig for whatever reason, we'll just have to agree to disagree.
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Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #44 on: December 27, 2007, 07:52:04 pm »

no. Judaism makes a lot of sense to me, but spirituality is not something that is important to me at this point in my life. I do not really feel like there is a gap there. If there is, one day, maybe I will pursue it. I guess in that situation, not eating pork would be positive.

Also, my friend said that her friend Hannah would "probably" marry me if I converted. So I guess there's always that. That conversation actually happened, but it was 90% just a joke. That would be either really crass or really romantic, depending.
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