my other friend said "dude, don't be a square, go for it. the guy's putting himself out there, here, and all you can talk about is how you should be dating that chick that ditched you? fuck!"
then I told them a story where at the end, they agreed that it is Galling that a universe exists where I am not dating this girl.
The jury is out on several things I did which, of course, are to blame for her not wanting to date me. Sometimes I try so hard to be nice that I decline to let people be nice to me, and I think that this is where I fucked this up.
Because it couldn't possibly just be that she's graduating in 4 months and doesn't want a boyfriend. That couldn't be it at all.
Mostly because, based on things she did... she obviously liked me. Or else, is just the nicest, cutest, sweetest, coolest person, ever. Fuck.
Part of this is that I have a major thing for girls that I see as entirely un-sexual? But, um, that is completely fooling myself in this case. That is "oh, well, she probably didn't really want to do that, that was probably just a thing that happened, you know. girls don't actually want to do that stuff."
but, no, for real. The fact that there is a girl within a mile of where I live who is that rad and fun and I am not even seeing her regularly in my life... damn. I feel like bringing fruit-roll-ups to a movie with a boy should mean something.
I can handle "we made out or whatever, and now I am not into you"
that is a thing that happens
but being all cutesy and asking if I wanted to go get hot chocolate and smores
offering to make me spaghetti at like 10AM for breakfast because that is all she knows how to cook
and then, nothing
that is like. fuck that shit.
sorry, I have typed this stuff out so many times and deleted it that I figure I will just get it out there.
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Topic: Today I'm gonna... (Read 1349795 times)