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[Victoria Waterfield]

one of Carlin's seven dirties

Damn, I never thought a phrase like that could hurt.

[Arachno-capitalist]

Lose my connection to Full Tilt Poker in the end of a tournament. I was in third place.

[wombat]

... ponder the meaning of two very old ladies I know commenting on how "different" I am.  "That Melanie, she always has to be different" they said.  "She's different.  She's always got to be different."  It was clearly not a compliment based on their tone, and yet I strive for the extraordinary, and in find deep meaning in all lifes processes or not doing them at all.

I believe that in this case "different" is code for "better" as in "thinks she's better than ordinary people."  As in, why isn't being like everyone else good enough for you?

If people like those ladies were in charge we'd all still be living in caves.

[jay-ell]

...make my first tentative steps towards learning to knit.  I basically have JL to blame for this.  All buying Stitch 'n Bitch and using my shiny red patent leather purse as a knitting bag.  I have been so looking forward to this.  Learning a new craft over the summer rocks!

... ponder the meaning of two very old ladies I know commenting on how "different" I am.  "That Melanie, she always has to be different" they said.  "She's different.  She's always got to be different."  It was clearly not a compliment based on their tone, and yet I strive for the extraordinary, and in find deep meaning in all lifes processes or not doing them at all.

Clearly, you guy are missing the point here.  Smells is taking up knitting!  This is exciting, people! 

Well, it is to me, anyway. 

[side_show]

Clearly, you guy are missing the point here.  Smells is taking up knitting!  This is exciting, people! 

Well, it is to me, anyway. 

Well I cast on like a pro.  But then things went downhill after that.  It was also 1 am when I tried.  I will try again when it is not 1 am.

[jay-ell]

Casting on is the hardest part. 

Seriously, lots of people learn to knit first and cast on afterwards. 

Take it slow and find your own rhythm.  Knit in the way that feels best to your hands, even if it's different from what it says to do in the book.  The end result is all that matters.  You Can Do It. 

And that's all I'll say on the subject, for fear of sending "the guys" screaming in droves. 

[jaydub]

Just make a knittin' ninnies topic and we can steer clear

Or drop in and attempt to steer the conversation towards baser topics.

[littlefallsmets]

To that point, doesn't "casting on" sound like the feminine of "jacking off"?

I always liked "nulling the void" but "casting on" could totally work too.

[smick]

...make my first tentative steps towards learning to knit.  I basically have JL to blame for this.  All buying Stitch 'n Bitch and using my shiny red patent leather purse as a knitting bag.  I have been so looking forward to this.  Learning a new craft over the summer rocks!

... ponder the meaning of two very old ladies I know commenting on how "different" I am.  "That Melanie, she always has to be different" they said.  "She's different.  She's always got to be different."  It was clearly not a compliment based on their tone, and yet I strive for the extraordinary, and in find deep meaning in all lifes processes or not doing them at all.

Word to knitting.  I can't do it during the summer, but I'm looking forward to finishing some projects during the winter months.

In regards to the "always got to be different", nuts to them.   I've been getting the same thing with this unicycling kick I've been on.   The moment I did it, I was hooked.   I'm poised to start running my downtown errands on the thing.   I like it largely because it's difficult.  I feel like a bad ass when I'm doing it.   I am maintaining balance on two axes!

Heck, eventually want to get one of the nice touring unicycles, and do some of the big bicycle tours here in town on it.

[jaydub]

Now you just need to learn to juggle and balance a little dog on your head.

[side_show]

"nulling the void"

Possibly the most misogynistic reference to the female genitalia I've encountered to date.  Thank you. 

My vag is the opposite of a void.  It is everything!  EVERYTHING!  EVERYTHING! Say nice things about my vag!

In related news, I wrote a scene today where a lady imagines the many ways to come out to her homophobic uncle, including one version where she takes on the castrating female stereotype (AKA decides to impersonate Ani Difranco) and her uncle reacts thusly: "What?  Oh my god!  Oh no?  Oh no!  My c*ck?  Where's my!  Oh no!  You took my c*ck!  Why would you take my c*ck?!  I need that!  I need it to pee!  I need that to...  Oh, please.  Oh, please."

It is a proud day when I work dildos in poisen ivy and a magical, vanishing c*ck into the same play as devastating, deeply emotional content.

[Doc]

"What?  Oh my god!  Oh no?  Oh no!  My c*ck?  Where's my!  Oh no!  You took my c*ck!  Why would you take my c*ck?!  I need that!  I need it to pee!  I need that to...  Oh, please.  Oh, please."

That reminds me of news stories like this.

[Arachno-capitalist]

Ani Difranco can have a piece of my cock any day of the week.

[littlefallsmets]

Yeah. That is exactly why I find it so hilarious, it's just so ridiculous.

Sort of falls in line with the pun in the title "Much Ado About Nothing" and so forth.

The best one for a woman only masturbating clitorally, of course, is "giraffeing for beans".

The best one for male masturbation is "taking his under-the-counter sleep medication" but... that's more in a funny-because-it-is-too-wordy kinda fashion.

[theinevitable]

A-CAP, the idea that you can like Ani while I find her incredibly obnoxious is just one of those mysteries of the universe.