Today I'm gonna:
- not want to get out of bed, our cats and my husband will all conspire against me doing so.
- lay there until the radio announcer says the weather, which is ghastly - ice rain predicted for entire day.
- force myself out of bed, and rethink what I planned to wear - skirt when the forcast calls for freezing rain? No.
- question if wearing a shirt and tie and Mr. Rogers style sweather is too butch for me.
- pack that outfit into a bag anyway, along with a towel, a wash cloth and toiletries, Siggs bottle and iPod.
- get into my gym clothes - dirty gym clothes take from the dirty hamper because I don't have any clean ones.
- moan in agony over the idea of going outside as my husband gets out of bed doing the same.
- go down stairs, say "I still want to go back up stairs to bed." "Me too," says the husband.
- put on my coat, put on my runners, sling on my backpack, wait by the door for my husband to be ready.
- twist the pin in my Remembrance Day poppy so it doesn't fall out.
- Walk to the truck, get in the passenger side.
- Ride in silence to they YMCA. Kiss my husband, have a brief conversation about dinner with my sister and her family tonight. Say goodbye.
- enter the gym, check in, unload the backpack into the locker.
- run for 30 minutes - can't run an hour like I prefer to due to lying in bed too long. Watch part of a French cooking show and shitty-assed music videos while running. Be unable to resist running faster when Britney Spears "Womanizer" comes on. Run really fast, get really sweaty, feel great.
- Finally get to see the eyes of the guy who usually runs smiling with his eyes closed a row behind me the whole time I'm there. See that he wears glasses when not running with his eyes closed, and that he isn't beautiful when he's not having a runners high. Walk behind him toward the locker rooms, and be so hypnotized by the stripe of ass crack sweat on his ##### that I don't realize I've dropped the screw on camp to my water bottle.
- enter the women's locker room, note to myself that the sort of women who gets changed right by the door is the kind of women how wears matching purple bra and panties.
-get to my locker, realize I forgot my bottle's lid, consider not going back for it, remind myself the damn bottle is expensive, the cap not easily replaceable, go back for it, find it on the floor.
- get undressed, get my towel and toiletries, shower, feel great.
- awkward public nudity during towling off. Why do people think this is the time for socializing? Can't they see I'm drying my pussy? This is a PRIVATE time.
- remember I am wearing men's clothes when I open my locker, and feel pleased with that.
- get dressed, adjust tie, apply make up. Remember that time where two different people mistook me for a man within a 30 minute period, back when my shape wasn't so nice and curved, and apply red lipstick.
- bundle up, hearing strangers moan that it's snow/raining out there.
- step outside, umbrella in hand and open before I step out into the sleet, only the umbrella is inside out and almost yanked from my hand instantly due to wind. Adjust it so it's right way out, walk to the bus stop.
- switch on "The Boys Want to be Her" by Peaches while waiting for the bus, feel confident in choice of men's wear for the day.
- ride the bus to work, listen to "I'll Stand By You" by The Pretenders, think about how much I love my husband.
- enter work, get complimented for looking "sharp" by coworker.
- hate my job.
- hate my job more.
- check work email, get an email that there is a toast for me "tomorrow" due to achievements. Imagine excuses to get out of it, decide that I will pack in as much champagne as possible instead.
-hate my job.
-hate my job.
-find out the "toast" is in fact today, not tomorrow.
- go out to the lobby, get complimented on outfit again, find out toast doesn't involve champagne but hummus and pitas (what?). Everyone is confused by this. People try to make puns about the pitas being toasted. Woman who made hummus, who is entirely unpleasant, clearly wants me to know that she has gone to great effort to make the hummus.
- head of company says really nice things about me, she's fighting back tears, talking about my hard work, etc. I try not to blurt out how much I hate my job.
- we "toast" with hummus. Everyone seems to expect me to give a speech, but I just say "Gee thanks" and fight the urge to quite on the spot.
- I take a bite of hummus and pita and everyone takes this as a cue to go back to work.
- sit at my desk, feeling confused about the odd social situation I've just participated in.
- hate my job.
- a brief black out due to weather, everyone suddenly turns stupid. I suggest calling the alarm company due to power outage and beeping alarm pad, no one listens to me. Power goes back on. No one else goes back to work, and is still oddly paniced.
- Check personal emails, try to log on to Facebook, but can't - computer's fucked due to power outage.
- have friend enter the office in tears due to art and human need for comfort. Comfort friend about art, human need for comfort, and recent one year anniversary of dead acquaintance.
- writer enters office, talk about culture, racism, how weird it is to watch American news talk about race in a blatantly racist way.
- pack up, get ready to go home, get caught up in conversation with writers about homogenized culture (the awfulness and comfort of). Talk about Disney and the Holiday Inn.
- get awkwardly congratulated again for achievements.
- exit building, get pummeled by hard crystals of freezing rain, open umbrella carefully to prevent inside-outy situation happening again.
- cross street to bus stop, trying not to slip on the ice/puddles.
- discover the bus shelter has been torn down. Go inside stores for shelter, and miss two buses this way.
- stand in the middle of the ice pelting waiting for the next bus.
- catch it.
- walk from bus to house in pelting ice rain.
- Sit at desk in soggy clothes, eat pistachios, save cat from nearly gagging on pistachio shells, check email, research gyms close to hotel I'll be staying at soon, make calls to husband and sister about dinner plans, all while ice rain pelts the window.
- read TOUAMB, read first post I made to this thread in 2007, and try to replicate it.
- remember my lap top is all fucked up and needs some work before big up coming trip and finish post, dreading going out again in the weather, but looking forward to dinner with husband, sister and her kid and partner.
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Topic: Today I'm gonna... (Read 1347382 times)