Stay up literally all night because I just realized today that the pain in my right testicle that I've been ignoring for literally five years is something I probably should have told my doctor about. This is because I was reading an article in Scientific American about the evolutionary history of hernias and I saw a cartoon diagram of one for the first time ever and I realized basically that "this is exactly what it feels like in my body". So I have a doctor's appointment on Monday. Which leads me into this:
WTF seriously?
Why are nurses sexy? Is it that people have mostly never actually been a hospital patient? It's not usually a pleasant experience, you know?
I would like to address this on two fronts, which are highly interrelated.
One is that I officially "have a thing for" women in the field of medicine, by which I mean nurses, doctors, x-ray technicians, and whatever a person who stands next to a dentist is properly called. But for the purposes of the discussion, let's just say nurses. Nurses are sexy. And I'm not even talking about the mental image most people have when they think "nurse + sexy", all slutty-Halloween-costume-style, all "look at me, I'm wearing shoes that are not practical for my job at all. I'll give you a blowjob". I mean real-life nurses, all scrubs-and-sneakers-and-low-maintenance-haircut style, all "look at me, I went to college. I'll get you an appropriate dosage of ibuprofen". And it's really very simple: their entire job is giving a damn about the well-being of complete strangers. And that is
awesome.
And the second is that I don't know about other people, but my experiences being a hospital patient are entirely made up of being goosed up on painkillers, which is my favorite feeling in the world. And this ties into the nurses thing too, because twice in my life I've had the kind of operation where they give you general anesthesia, and both times when I woke up all loopy the first thing I did was turn to the nurse and say something to the effect of "You're pretty!" Which is something I would never do if I was not on drugs. It has literally become a running joke for my family.
Also, speaking of testicular injuries, a few pages back LFM mentioned The Venture Brothers, so that got me Wikipedia-ing, as I Netflix'd the first disc of season 1 last week and loved it, and so I was reading Hank's Wikipedia article, and it mentions that he gets testicular torsion in one episode, and I'm all "What a coincidence. I have been worrying about maybe having that all day today. I look forward to watching that episode".
There was something else, but I forgot it, but that's okay because this post is already too long and I really shouldn't post at six in the morning after staying up all night worrying about Dexter Morgan (which is what I named my right testicle).