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[linnea]

1st: Dude, get in line.
2nd: If I recommend you at my job you're guaranteed to at least get an interview and if you stay for 6 months I get like $1K finder's fee. But I work at a non-profit so I seriously doubt you'd be even slightly interested.
3rd: I fully admit the creepy post was just me trying to recreate the feeling of my best ever post. I did not succeed.

Man, nobody has asked me out at all in my town where the ratio is like 3:1, yet there are all these awesome + wonderful dudes that would ask me out if they lived closer than a $2000 plane ticket. What the hell, people.

[theinevitable]

it's easy to talk big about asking rad chicks out when you're a 2000$ plane ticket away.

it's harder to be all "hrr hrr i'm gonna walk over and ask Somebody nice out" in real life, 10 feet away.

[greenkoolayd]

where does it cost $2000 dollars to fly to?  there better be some friendly stewardesses for that much money...

[theinevitable]

since the dawn of time, man has dreampt of making the "keyboard cat" song the ringtone on his cellular telephone.
today, a new era dawns.

[lprkn]

Nice! I found out that the keyboard cat is from around here. The video is from the 90s, and the cat has been dead for awhile now.

[smick]

...use my new bike to haul some monkey fightin' groceries.

(The groceries in the bag on the right side of the bike outweigh the cat litter (30lbs) and the 12 pack of beer.)

[JorgeFabregas]

Well damn. What kind of bike is it?

[wombat]

...think about posting all my Facebook status updates in this thread, since I'm the one who nags on people not to do stuff on Facebook that they could be doing on this board.

I have an idea for an english as a second language workbook with exercises where you write the same updates in all three forms:

On Facebook, in the third person, sentence must start with your name;
On Twitter, any tense or person, under 140 characters;
In this thread, future tense, first person.

[smick]

Well damn. What kind of bike is it?

It's a cargo bike made by Yuba.  All steel.  Weighs 50 lbs.  (The 2008 model weighed 60.)  The rack and wheel is rated up to 440lbs.

It's good for picking up chicks.

[JorgeFabregas]

And carrying them away, presumably.

[theinevitable]

we just unintentionally did some kind of Labor Day Metaphor, where my roommate sat on the couch reading Chinese literature and singing along to "Internationale," and I swept our floor and washed the dishes.

I am mad at him because he does not agree that Labor Day is the holiday where you watch the rest of the second season of Mad Men.

[AugustWest]

In this thread, future tense, first person.

Extra credit if you include a reference to one (or more!) of the following:

-- prescriptivism,
-- giraffe placenta, or
-- barbed cat penes

[jaydub]

Try to convince myself that, despite the premise of this book, I should not take up long distance running.  God knows, I have enough hobbies.

[linnea]

Try to convince myself that, despite the premise of this book, I should not take up long distance running.  God knows, I have enough hobbies.

Wow, that book looks fascinating. Not fascinating for me to actually get outside and run, but pretty dang cool. I should go see if the library has it.

[Toaster]

Dude, that book sounds so boss. I love running, but I always get hurt. It pisses me the hell off.