Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[smick]

If you're a vegulon and live in Oregon, this is entirely plausible.

Oh shit!  I AM!

But I wasn't then, and I lived in Memphis, TN.

But your comment is eerie.  It's like you're looking into my soul!

Today: I went to a bicycle race, and I worked real hard and did really well...maybe?   However: I don't think I'll see how I did in the standings, because my race number was covered completely in mud.   

The race officials had a pressurized water sprayer at the finish line and were trying to hose people's numbers off.   

I crossed the line in a sprint and was all lactic and dumb and vaguely remember being hit with water and confused by it.  (Seriously, I understand why, but it seems like a dick move to hose people down in November.  Of course, I went from the finish line to a nearby giant puddle and washed 20% of the mud off my body and added 10% back.)   

Also, during the unicycle heat, I beat my nemesis.  It came down to us neck and neck at the finish line.   I was riding my unicycle because I have something called integrity.   He was running with his in his hands!   Why fuck*ng bother?   At the line I leapt forward off the front of the unicycle to try to throw my body across the line first.   The announcer called it for the other guy.   I laughed, and shook the man's hand because I'm a fuck*ng gentleman.   I then went around behind the scoring truck and jumped up and down, because I was so close, and he really put a c*ck in my sub-woofer with that kind of behavior.

Later while I was waiting for my bicycle heat to begin, I stopped by the scoring truck and it appears the officials looked at the finish camera and gave it to me.  Victory is sweet, but winning a CONTESTED victory, so much more.

Your takeaway from this:  9th place in a unicycle race, is really fuck*ng important to me.

[Nabubrush]

I almost mentioned that.

And the person I was referring to in the other comment was OJ Simpson. Sorry about that.

[jay-ell]

...walk into my living room and see a pair of scissors and a hank of my daughter's hair lying on the floor, and freak the FUCK out.

Then I'm gonna give my daughter an emergency haircut and try really hard not to yell at her the whole time.

I did yell, and explain rather emphatically that haircuts should only be given by grownups, and that climbing up on furniture to get scissors off the top of the upright piano is expressly prohibited. She cried enough to let me know she got the point, so I turned on the TV and tried to even out her hatchet job as best I could.

Afterwards, I put her down for a nap, did some yoga, got my shit together, and worked on learning to laugh about the whole experience. My mantra today: "It's hair; it grows."

But damn, if I'm not vain as hell about my daughter's beautiful hair. It's shampoo-commercial hair, it's so pretty and soft and shiny. And it JUST got long enough to pull up into a ponytail; I was really enjoying being able to get it off her face sometimes. Dag nabbit.

[Nabubrush]

Something that boils down to Smick being awesome.

Smick, you're awesome.

[CortJstr]

Also, during the unicycle heat ... he really put a c*ck in my sub-woofer with that kind of behavior.

One can for each of those awesome phrases.

[AugustWest]

Also, during the unicycle heat,

You get a can just for participating in an event which features a(n?) unicycle heat.

[jaydub]

Oh shit!  I AM!

But I wasn't then, and I lived in Memphis, TN.

But your comment is eerie.  It's like you're looking into my soul!

Well I had to one-up your steely glare from the webcam somehow.

[Carlos del Vaca]

 I was riding my unicycle because I have something called integrity.   He was running with his in his hands!   

Wait, you can do that?  How is that not against the rules?  He should've been DQ'd.  Hey, I'm in a swimming race, but I'm going to get out of the pool and run along the side!

[Nabubrush]

Today I'm going to try to figure out how to tell my boss that he shouldn't be considering Patton and Lombardi role-models in terms of how to manage a work team.

[Nabubrush]

Also, today ESPN will tell me this:

Today is 11/8/2010. On 11/8/1978, the Philadelphia 76ers and the New Jersey Nets started a game that ended on 3/23/1979. That's because the final 17:50 needed to be replayed because a protest was upheld. The fun part is that Harvey Catchings and Ralph Simpson started that game for the 76ers, while Eric Money and Al Skinner started it for the Nets. But they were all traded for each other before the game resumed in March. And so it's the only time in the history of professional sports that any player played for both teams in the same game.

That's odd.

[theinevitable]

today, over 40,000 members of the Church of God in Christ descend on Saint Louis.

my coworkers all say that these people are the rudest customers of all time. Based on 2 experiences yesterday, I'll say "yes, already."

my managers are freaking out about all these people being here. Everyone working at least 48 hour weeks (overtime pay!), having cashiers prepared to stay late in case the line is so long that we can't get people out fast enough, etc.

it's kind of exciting, but I expect to be ready for my day off.

[Nabubrush]

How do they feel about the beard?

[littlefallsmets]

the Church of God in Christ

Ugh. The only thing worse than slash fiction is incest slash fiction.

[Nabubrush]

Today I am going to learn that Ween is coming back to Portland early next year and I will be at work.

[wombat]

Such a shame none of these bands you like ever have tour dates in Prudhoe Bay.