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[jay-ell]

ALSO: TIG drop my car at the shop and exercise-walk three daggone miles to get home.


The original plan was to go to the gym and walk on a treadmill for 45 minutes, then meet Pedro at the shop to drop the car. Then I realized that that made absolutely no sense in any other time or place in history, and decided to hoof it old school like a boss. Fuck yes, I made excercise and efficiency my twin bitches today, y'all.

[wombat]

Another friend gave me a copy of "Weird New York" like a hardcover guide to strange tourist traps around NY state..

Did he give this to everyone? Or did he perhaps pick different gifts that each person would like?

Don't get sucked into made-up "traditions" of the bridal-industrial complex. Do what will seem meaningful to you and your own friends, rather than what will seem meaningful to a flask-engraving industry that has found a great way to avoid going out of business because they make useless shit.

[side_show]

Etsy is a good place to find groomsman gifts that are unique and useful, if you search the right things.  I'm personally fond of the geekery section, but you can search any category that relates to you and the dudes and find something.

[Choop]

the bridal-industrial complex

oh god this

[jaydub]

the bridal-industrial complex.

oh god this

QFT.  Fortunately my bride was as cynical about it as I and didn't go to the crazy place.  We managed to have a memorable wedding without live doves, videographers, vendor meetings, etc.

[theinevitable]

I just had a weird thought, and now I am freaked out. Don't think about getting married, dan. Just don't do it.

[AugustWest]

I just had a weird thought, and now I am freaked out. Don't think about getting married, dan. Just don't do it.

Inev wants to marry every girl.

[side_show]

I just had a weird thought, and now I am freaked out. Don't think about getting married, dan. Just don't do it.

Or do.  I certainly wish I'd married my hubby earlier, back when we were younger and my tolerance for that kind of bullshit was higher.  I'm glad to be married to him, but weddings and all that goes with them are for the young.  How else does one explain tiaras and dresses that look like marshmallows? 

[dejavroom]

Get drunk alone and think stupid thoughts.

You see, I, too, have finally begun to consider marriage, after 35 years of not really thinking about it as something for the "likes of me".

It seems all it took to change my mind was to find the right person (which unfortunately happens to be the 18-year old daughter of my best friend, whom I first met when she was 13).

I know some of you might find it a tad, hm, worrisome that I would think that the best match for a 35 year old man would be an 18 year old girl, but I'm no ordinary 35 year old man, and she is no ordinary 18 year old girl. I truly recognized in her what might as well become a true marriage of minds (she's an adorable dork: brainy, a bit clumsy and as cute as a bunch of ducklings who got confused and ended up in a queue at Starbucks with everybody going "Aww..."). And I just really really would like to, like, show her stuff [1]. You may think I'm taking the piss, but I've always had the pedagogical strain in me (always talking about teaching kids in poor communities to read and write etc). Also it seems her mother is raising her to fear, hate and loath all men (based on her own miserable experience with the girl's dad - my friend) and I really would like to help her with that because that sort of emotions are just baad, 'mkay?

That's not even... that's not even how marriages work, or what they're about! Why is my brain so dumb?


[1] If anyone mentions that I could always "show her stuff" without marrying her, I will find you, and gnaw on your face.

[theinevitable]

It all makes sense now: I am dating an older woman. Who does not appreciate being called "Mrs Robinson" during intimate moments. (she is 18 months older than me, this is not an actual thing.)

[jaydub]

My lady is 3 months older than me.  I occasionally mine that for my own amusement.  Certainly she doesn't find it as funny.

[jay-ell]

He figured it out too late for you, JL.

*weeps*

I am half a year older than Pedro, but sometimes it seems like half a score.

[theinevitable]

actually I thought of you when we had this conversation, because she also mentioned that a doctor told her parents at some point that he would like to test her for an ASD. Her parents were all "why? who cares?" so I guess that's that.

[AugustWest]

Mrs. West is 8 years older than me.

[miles]

I know you guys have moved on, but groomsmen get gifts? Man, I got totally fucked. Not only did I not get a gift, I had to wear a white tux.

But, I was happy to be a part of it. Not only was I the best man and only groomsman, I was the only person there that wasn't with the bride. My friend had kind of a screwed up life.