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[jough]

Slap him on the top of his head.

[linnea]

**TMI WARNING**
When I was on antidepressants, I had a hard time with getting off. However, my crap dude ex-fiance soldiered on for 50 minutes one night and I finally got there. Damn. There were other times where I'd just tell him, "It's no use, babe. It's not gonna happen tonight. Sorry."

Mel, If I haven't gotten off yet but am ready to move on to the main course, I usually pull him up for a kiss and then straddle him, but I've never been one for subtlety. Alternatively, I'll get off, enjoy it for a moment, and then ask him to get a condom. That usually tells him that we're moving on right quick.

[Nabubrush]

I wish everyone had a relationship where you could just tell the other person what you want now/next. It's the only way to go.

[linnea]

It's like you were at war with her clit.

HEH!!! Like your tongue was the hardboiled police interrogator, and her clit was the assassin who killed your partner?

I wish everyone had a relationship where you could just tell the other person what you want now/next. It's the only way to go.

Honesty is good...but I dunno, relationships are multilayered and most women don't want to come across as demanding or dictatorial in the sack.

[side_show]

It's interesting.  I've had attempts to post about this, and I keep deleting what I wrote.  I am not afraid to talk about anything, but I, for some reason don't want these details out there for the world to see.  Plus I have no problems, and maybe could be even said to excel in the satisfaction department.  Anything I will write comes off as bragging, so I'll shut up now.

[Nabubrush]

Look, I ain't trying to brag, I'm just saying talk to your SO and try to work out a deal where you are comfortable saying "I like it when you wear the clown makeup" (for instance).

[AugustWest]

Anything I will write comes off as bragging, so I'll shut up now.

All this talent and a sex goddess too!  Dayum.

[theinevitable]

so, to return vaguely to the topic of the original post...

let's say you are a college-aged lady. You meet this kind of cool boy, and you end up visiting his room-- not for maximum cuddles, just, say, to get a homework assignment.
upon entering, you realize that his walls are entirely covered with posters. small posters, big posters, horizontal posters, tall posters...
VS
you enter the room, and find that he has tastefully put out a few posters in well-chosen spots.

which is better? what I'm saying is, which one of these situations would lead to the boy later posting on this thread in response to Mel's question, for instance.

this is not really a serious question. I know that the 2nd one is theoretically better, but that the first one might be cool too?

I am just having a problem choosing which posters to put up, is the issue. Plus, they always have really cool ones on sale at school...

[Nabubrush]

The first one is cooler, because she would be more likely to find a poster to talk to you about, and vice-versa. If you can't have a nice conversation with a lady about Cartilege Head, I weep for you.

[theinevitable]

hm.

now I thought of the one time I saw a wall like that, and I am reconsidering.

But, I mean, how do I choose!?
Amelie or The Smiths? London Calling or The Ramones? Lost in Translation or Sonic Youth?

[side_show]

.

All this talent and a sex goddess too!  Dayum.

No, no, I just... the ladies that I am friends with don't like hearing that the problems they like to think "everyone woman" has about sex don't actually apply to every women.  I figured out pretty quickly that I am the exception to the rule.

I was once at a foregin ambassador's mansion with a bunch of other lady artists, and I swear to god, his wife was the same age as my mom and looked just like Catherine O'Hara, and I think maybe she was drunk... but she was going on about how "it's not fair, you artists get to travel, and have great food and have the best sex lives..." and all the other lady artists were like "oh, no... my sex life is bad because... blah, blah, blah.."  I was already very giraffe-out-of-water because this was my first experience of rich people using me as personal entertainment and expecting witty banter... so I sat there quietly staring into my wild mushroom espresso... and eventually my silence was noted, and everyone was looking at me, and I basically had to disagree with everyone at the table, because damn if I'm going to lie to fit in, and my personal experience has nothing to do with dissatisfaction, and then there was a sort of silent disapproval and a table full of people telling me "oh, you're young though.  That'll change."  And then I'm all "no, I figured out how to get what I need pretty early on, and I don't see that changing..."  And then the main course was served and no one wanted to talk to me much.

I suppose there is something in being overtly intelligent, cynical, bespecticled, book-read, sarcastic, etc. that is equated with being unsatisfied all round.  But this is one a couple parts of my life that doesn't fit the archetype, and ladies are made uneasy by that. 

[AugustWest]

hm.

now I thought of the one time I saw a wall like that, and I am reconsidering.

But, I mean, how do I choose!?
Amelie or The Smiths? London Calling or The Ramones? Lost in Translation or Sonic Youth?

Just make sure that Ed Gein has prominent placement.

[Doc]

most women don't want to come across as demanding or dictatorial in the sack.

I've always liked a bit of demanding, it's nice to feel wanted.

Amelie or The Smiths? London Calling or The Ramones? Lost in Translation or Sonic Youth?

Amelie, London Calling and Sonic Youth.
I'm too young to have been into the Smiths and the Ramones so I'm sick of seeing people younger than me wearing the shirts and shit.

[linnea]

I've always liked a bit of demanding, it's nice to feel wanted.

That is true. Nabu, you are right. Honesty is good.

Mel, that's a crazy story about the foreign ambassador's wife. And the other guests - yikes. "Sorry, bitches, but just 'cuz you have shitty, unfulfilling sex lives doesn't mean I have to. I'm off to enjoy my healthy, loving relationship. Have fun being dried up, and enjoy your frigidity while your husbands bang their secretaries. I will never, ever be in your shoes. Have a nice life."

[jough]

Maybe some fellas don't like girls to be dictatorial in the sack (although some obviously love that sort of thing), but early on in a relationship it doesn't hurt to ask "Do you like it when someone does... THIS?" as you insert a fist somewhere, etc.

I mean, just basic communication will make things so much better than just plodding along hoping that the other person likes what you're doing and tolerating what they're doing to you without opening your mouth.

Believe me, it'll be far less stressful to bring it up early on rather than to flip over the dining room table in a rage and shout "You never touch my balls when you're giving me head. And honey, the blow job doesn't start until AFTER I've come!" when she asks you to pass the salt.