Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

You might, rabbit

You might.

Pages: 1 [2] 3   Go Down

Author Topic: 17 September 2007 - DO NOT drag my merkin in the breakfast eggs  (Read 5653 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

AugustWest

  • Over Easy
  • Moderator
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 774
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 10549
  • Bulbous, also tapered.
    • View Profile
Re: 17 September 2007 - DO NOT drag my merkin in the breakfast eggs
« Reply #15 on: September 17, 2007, 04:41:49 pm »

ok. people.

How would you get a small wig to stay in that area. How would you do that.


Staples?
Logged
Infinitely vast, infinitely detailed.

iron_felix

  • Lie Bot
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 65
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 373
    • View Profile
Re: 17 September 2007 - DO NOT drag my merkin in the breakfast eggs
« Reply #16 on: September 17, 2007, 06:04:05 pm »

ok. people.

How would you get a small wig to stay in that area. How would you do that.


Staples?
AW, do NOT drag the merkin through your Dr. Pepper!  You gonna RUIN that merkin!

Maybe Téodor had mistaken it for a pastry brush?
I knew the word had an association with that general region of the anatomy, thanks to President Merkin Muffley in Dr. Strangelove, but I would never have guessed it was a hairpiece.

Also:  My new favorite baseball player.
Logged

colmore

  • Lie Bot
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 56
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 379
  • Sorry Mom, Sorry Dad, Sorry College
    • View Profile
Re: 17 September 2007 - DO NOT drag my merkin in the breakfast eggs
« Reply #17 on: September 17, 2007, 06:16:51 pm »

I learned this word in probably the most delightful way possible.

It was the SAT study word of the day on some website my senior year of high school.  Some friend of mine who was stressing about the test found it and hilarity in the school library ensued.

I only wish I remember the sample sentence completion or : :: style analogy.  Submissions are welcome.
Logged
In Capitalist America, bank robs you!

AugustWest

  • Over Easy
  • Moderator
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 774
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 10549
  • Bulbous, also tapered.
    • View Profile
Re: 17 September 2007 - DO NOT drag my merkin in the breakfast eggs
« Reply #18 on: September 17, 2007, 06:26:40 pm »

Logged
Infinitely vast, infinitely detailed.

side_show

  • Sweet Fancy Moses
  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 501
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 6487
    • View Profile
Re: 17 September 2007 - DO NOT drag my merkin in the breakfast eggs
« Reply #19 on: September 17, 2007, 06:44:51 pm »

ok. people.

How would you get a small wig to stay in that area. How would you do that.

also, I was delighted to find a reference to The Japanese in that wiki entry. Oh, those Japanese. I love them so.

Spirit gum has been around for a really, really long time, and probably would have been used for such things.  It's made from sap diluted with alcohol.  From the stage make-up training, I can make any patch of human flesh hairy with the use of spirit come and natural or synthetic hair.

Also, I once met a lady with total body alopecia, and she had a merkin, though she told me she mostly didn't use it, as it is more the style these days to be hairless down there anyway.
Logged
Abuse of power comes as no surprise.

Dangermoose

  • Chucklebot
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 51
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 191
    • View Profile
Re: 17 September 2007 - DO NOT drag my merkin in the breakfast eggs
« Reply #20 on: September 17, 2007, 06:59:26 pm »

"I can make any patch of human flesh hairy with the use of spirit come..."

You might want to edit that.  Or, you might not.  I will now choose not to use an emoticon to smile.
Logged

Dangermoose

  • Chucklebot
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 51
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 191
    • View Profile
Re: 17 September 2007 - DO NOT drag my merkin in the breakfast eggs
« Reply #21 on: September 17, 2007, 07:01:57 pm »

Also:

Man, if that baseball player is ever in a car accident, we'd have ourselves a beautiful headline, all punning on famous oil spills and lady's private wigs.
Logged

side_show

  • Sweet Fancy Moses
  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 501
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 6487
    • View Profile
Re: 17 September 2007 - DO NOT drag my merkin in the breakfast eggs
« Reply #22 on: September 17, 2007, 07:13:19 pm »

"I can make any patch of human flesh hairy with the use of spirit come..."

You might want to edit that.  Or, you might not.  I will now choose not to use an emoticon to smile.

Ha - oh man, that is a quality typo.  I'm leaving that there.   Actually, I can use the spirit of cum for many purposes.  I pray to the sexiest gods and they grant me powers!  POWERS!

Also, thank you for not using an emoticon.  I hate that shit.
Logged
Abuse of power comes as no surprise.

littlefallsmets

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 363
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 6294
  • the perfect is the enemy of the good
    • View Profile
    • this is where I jot down random ideas
Re: 17 September 2007 - DO NOT drag my merkin in the breakfast eggs
« Reply #23 on: September 17, 2007, 07:18:01 pm »

I like to write *insert s-m-i-l-e-y emoticon here* or *...winky...* or *...frowny...* or so on.

It conveys the emotion while still showing disdain for "netspeak".

I also like the idea that sideshow met a naked lady and was basically all like:

"Hi, my name is sideshow, I see you have no hair. Do you put a wig on your vadge or what?"

We need more people like this.

Less wars would happen if we were all this honest.

EDIT: Every other word seems to have a replacement thingee now.
Logged
I do the Tweets @Cecconi140

Ruta Bagas

  • Dr. Andretti
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 108
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 426
  • Is that a shiny ring?
    • View Profile
    • The World Is Lovely
Re: 17 September 2007 - DO NOT drag my merkin in the breakfast eggs
« Reply #24 on: September 17, 2007, 07:22:17 pm »

Have you ever tried to pleasure a ghost? It's not easy, I can tell you. I'm impressed that you have such a reliable supply.

side_show

  • Sweet Fancy Moses
  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 501
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 6487
    • View Profile
Re: 17 September 2007 - DO NOT drag my merkin in the breakfast eggs
« Reply #25 on: September 17, 2007, 08:02:46 pm »

"Hi, my name is sideshow, I see you have no hair. Do you put a wig on your vadge or what?"

Oh... she would have shown me her vadge.  I think she might have actually offered.  She wanted me to go over to her place and see her merkin.  But maybe not... I don't really remember her all that well.  I had a mild crush on a friend of hers, which was how I met her, so the whole conversation was rather flirty in general, but I wasn't interested in her (lady's in hats aren't sexy to me), and I think she was only interested in me because I was interested in her friend.  I remember that it felt way too complicated, and that I backed away... You'd think if someone used a "hey baby, come over to my place and I'll show you my merkin" pick-up line that I'd remember... but, those were the days where I was high or drunk most of the time...  And so much shit has happened to me of far more noteworthy a quality that some woman I wasn't attracted to hitting on me didn't really stick in my head I guess.  The details have all washed away.  I remember imagining her apartment as being all velvety, and her merkin having it's own special pillow - like a cat...
Logged
Abuse of power comes as no surprise.

CortJstr

  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 338
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 9820
  • Which gives us AN EXCUSE TO DRINK!
    • View Profile
Re: 17 September 2007 - DO NOT drag my merkin in the breakfast eggs
« Reply #26 on: September 17, 2007, 08:20:59 pm »

Oh... she would have shown me her vadge.  I think she might have actually offered.  She wanted me to go over to her place and see her merkin.  But maybe not... I don't really remember her all that well.  I had a mild crush on a friend of hers, which was how I met her, so the whole conversation was rather flirty in general, but I wasn't interested in her (lady's in hats aren't sexy to me), and I think she was only interested in me because I was interested in her friend.  I remember that it felt way too complicated, and that I backed away... You'd think if someone used a "hey baby, come over to my place and I'll show you my merkin" pick-up line that I'd remember... but, those were the days where I was high or drunk most of the time...  And so much shit has happened to me of far more noteworthy a quality that some woman I wasn't attracted to hitting on me didn't really stick in my head I guess.  The details have all washed away.  I remember imagining her apartment as being all velvety, and her merkin having it's own special pillow - like a cat...

Now I'm just picturing a little person carrying like a gilded pillow with a merkin on it. Her own personal merkin bearer.
Logged

littlefallsmets

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 363
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 6294
  • the perfect is the enemy of the good
    • View Profile
    • this is where I jot down random ideas
Re: 17 September 2007 - DO NOT drag my merkin in the breakfast eggs
« Reply #27 on: September 17, 2007, 09:45:17 pm »

See, I pictured more like...

A box you'd keep a really expensive engagement ring in.

Like you go on one knee and you're like...

"Baby, I've always wanted you to have this... it was my grandmothers then it was my mothers now I want you to have it..."

And she gets all gaspy and teary and opens it up to see a merkin.

The length of time before she leaves the room in a  rage is dependent on if she needs the concept explained to her.
Logged
I do the Tweets @Cecconi140

jaydub

  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1493
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 5056
  • Arrant pedantry
    • View Profile
Re: 17 September 2007 - DO NOT drag my merkin in the breakfast eggs
« Reply #28 on: September 17, 2007, 09:48:11 pm »

Now I'm just picturing a little person carrying like a gilded pillow with a merkin on it. Her own personal merkin bearer.
Perhaps wearing a silver pendant containing a camel-hair brush and spirit gum.
Logged
If you desire peace, work for justice.

linnea

  • VIP
  • Ocular Shenanigans
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 168
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 3332
    • View Profile
Re: 17 September 2007 - DO NOT drag my merkin in the breakfast eggs
« Reply #29 on: September 17, 2007, 09:52:21 pm »

I learned this word in probably the most delightful way possible.

It was the SAT study word of the day on some website my senior year of high school.  Some friend of mine who was stressing about the test found it and hilarity in the school library ensued.

I only wish I remember the sample sentence completion or : :: style analogy.  Submissions are welcome.

colmore, that is some comedy platinum right there. Toupee:Donald Trump as Merkin:? Also, I think I've mentioned before that I really like your avatar.

  I remember imagining her apartment as being all velvety, and her merkin having it's own special pillow - like a cat...

Dammit, smells, you keep coming up with hilarious shit. I love that mental image. Tiny can.
Logged
Pages: 1 [2] 3   Go Up