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[mrdna1]

http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10262007

this is probably one of the most bizarre "Philippe Times" that's come out yet. I like the tie-in to Wednesday's hot tub video strip.

[littlefallsmets]

That'd be pretty awesome, actually.

7-11 all full of different sizes of cups labeled "Cunt"... "Double Cunt"... "Big Cunt"... "Super Big Cunt"... "X-Treme Cunt Mug"... "Big Cunt Car Cup"... these are all great comedy ideas.

It makes me hope that some day there will be a big-budget Achewood movie so that they can Achewood-ize a handful of 7-11s and get on that project. All servin' items out of the Achewood cookbooks and frosty ice-filled Big Cunts.

Lets get on this idea.

[theinevitable]

man, this reminds me... the other day in linguistics we were talking about how words are totally random 90% of the time. The professor said that if you ask a kid, he will tell you the opposite.
"Why is this called a book?"
"because... it's a book."
"but why is it called that? where does that word come from?"
"oh. *knocks on book* I guess because it's kind of hard, and you can open it, and turn the pages. Which is kind of... book."

I mean, small cup = cunt almost feel like it follows some sort of rule? to a kid, maybe.
cup + runt.

[RMJ12345]

I thought this was funny, but I don't understand the syntax of Beef's reply to Molly.

"If you're going to go on about stuff I wish I ever got a blowjob that didn't end in me getting yelled at"

Is the "I wish..." part of a separate clause or a part of the noun phrase beginning with "stuff"?

I get the gist, I'm just wondering.

ETA: Also, what is the thing from the eighties? Does it have something to do with coke?

[Victoria Waterfield]

I thought this was funny, but I don't understand the syntax of Beef's reply to Molly.

"If you're going to go on about stuff I wish I ever got a blowjob that didn't end in me getting yelled at"

Is the "I wish..." part of a separate clause or a part of the noun phrase beginning with "stuff"?

I get the gist, I'm just wondering.

ETA: Also, what is the thing from the eighties? Does it have something to do with coke?

I think you're supposed to parse it as if there were a comma after "stuff".

[KeithHernandez]

That just looks like a 1/4 jack to me, but why would he not tell him what it was?

ETA: Also, what is the thing from the eighties? Does it have something to do with coke?

[Toaster]

Are "The Matingmen" anything like "The Sexual Homeboys"? Like the Sexual Homeboys of a previous era?

I think that the thing from the 80's is one of those motorized knoves used to cut turkeys.

Also: DON'T PERFORM A GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH FOR BUBOES. PLEASE. IT IS NOT RECOMMENDED.

[otter]

"I'll have a Taquito, a Slim-Jim, and a tiny cunt of Dr. Pepper."

[Dullscythe]

Also: DON'T PERFORM A GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH FOR BUBOES. PLEASE. IT IS NOT RECOMMENDED.

I did this anyway because your reaction got my curiosity all piqued.

I really have no one to be angry with other than myself.

[linnea]

I seem to remember a buboe being an open sore or cyst or pustule, and from what I remember they're most famously associated with the plague. I'm not googling it, though. I'll stick with memory on this one.

The thing that was found in Chris' bedroom looks suspiciously like an anal toy, but maybe I'm mistaken. There is a lot of crude sex stuff going on in this strip about which Philippe is unaware. Is this what the Stanford Chaparral or whatever the hell the name of the paper was like all the time?

[CortJstr]

That'd be pretty awesome, actually.

7-11 all full of different sizes of cups labeled "Cunt"... "Double Cunt"... "Big Cunt"... "Super Big Cunt"... "X-Treme Cunt Mug"... "Big Cunt Car Cup"... these are all great comedy ideas.

It makes me hope that some day there will be a big-budget Achewood movie so that they can Achewood-ize a handful of 7-11s and get on that project. All servin' items out of the Achewood cookbooks and frosty ice-filled Big Cunts.

Lets get on this idea.

Clearly the biggest cup would have to be named after a flavor of the month female celebrity. Like one size up from the Super Big Cunt would be the Paris or what have you.

[Doc]

Nah, that would be the second to last size, large but not diabetes-inducingly so. The absolute largest has to be a constant so it can be marketed to fuck and in this case I think there's only one choice:
"Yo Momma"

[melack]

Is anyone else at the point where they feel like they need to physically work up the energy to make it through each new Phillipe Times? It's like... I load the page... feel bombarded by a wall of text... and make a note in my head to tackle it before the day is over.

Does this make me a terrible human being or just really, really lazy?

[Turbo Ninja]

Nah, that would be the second to last size, large but not diabetes-inducingly so. The absolute largest has to be a constant so it can be marketed to fuck and in this case I think there's only one choice:
"Yo Momma"

GUYS!  We talked about this!

The absolute largest would be called "Gina."

[wombat]

Is anyone else at the point where they feel like they need to physically work up the energy to make it through each new Phillipe Times? It's like... I load the page... feel bombarded by a wall of text... and make a note in my head to tackle it before the day is over.

Well, you want to make sure you have time to savor every word in a leisurely way, of course.