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[AugustWest]

Ray's all showin' off his barbs to the pedicurist who runs and hides in humiliation.

[CortJstr]

I'm surprised he hasn't yet come up with a nickname for the girl that he doesn't realize is horribly offensive. Besides, aren't manicures and whatnot actually painful? Or have sitcoms lied to me? Again.

[lprkn]

"...your wrong old tumescence." - That made me laugh out loud. As well as the Don't Step on the Baby Ants Dance.

[jay-ell]

I'm surprised he hasn't yet come up with a nickname for the girl that he doesn't realize is horribly offensive. Besides, aren't manicures and whatnot actually painful? Or have sitcoms lied to me? Again.

If they're painful, you need to find a new manicurist. 

Do sitcoms really lie about this?  This seems like a silly thing to lie about, given that I would think most women would know otherwise. 

[CortJstr]

If they're painful, you need to find a new manicurist. 

Do sitcoms really lie about this?  This seems like a silly thing to lie about, given that I would think most women would know otherwise. 

The joke is generally along the lines of a guy who normal cares for his finger and toenails with his teeth for some reason gets a manicure. And the salon ends up having to work on his cuticles with like a chisel or angle grinder. Picture this happening to Al Bundy.

[Turbo Ninja]

I admit that I had a mani/pedi for the first time in November.  I was in India, see, and because of the exchange rate, a mixup involving the caste system and a complicated order at a tea shop I found myself plopped down in a salon with my feet soaking in a tub of hot water and my fingertips dipped daintily in little bowls.

People in India generally have rough feet, and I was alarmed to learn that it's normal for your pedicurist to break out an Exacto-looking scalpel to shave off the nastiest of bits.  My guy (no embarrassed lady for me, alas) picked up my foot, picked up the scalpel, felt my baby-smooth American heel, and put the blade back down.  I wouldn't need the rough stuff.

The whole thing caused no pain at all, even when I had someone else cutting my toenails.  It was ticklish as hell, though, particularly when they took a brush to the bottom of my arches.

I came away feeling like a dandy fop, all with my socks and closed-toe shoes.  I tipped pretty well, considering the whole thing cost me about $12.

[theinevitable]

goddamn, Ray is not loved by these Vietnamese women. This is embarassing enough for me that... I can only hope Ray never learns that he is That Pervert.

[wombat]

I can only hope Ray never learns that he is That Pervert.

I dunno. I think maybe someone ought to break it to him. This is really kind of creepy.

[colmore]

When was the last time Ray crossed the line this thoroughly?  Like, I think this kind of thing can get the cops called on you.  Isn't flaunting a visible erection grounds for sexual harassment?  It should be.

[jaydub]

I wonder if going commando would indicate premeditation, thereby enhancing the crime.  Also: wearing gabardine trousers.

[littlefallsmets]

I enjoy that Beef and I share the trait of communicating in "Back to the Future" analogies whenever possible.

[Golfhaus]

I humbly disagree with Mr. Orezscu about watching women play tennis. Watching women play tennis is a beautiful thing. Beautiful, I say.

Unless by "for the first time," he means the first time these particular women play tennis, not the first time of watching women play tennis. I can kinda sorta see that, but still, I'll take it over, say, women playing basketball.

[lprkn]

Whatever your opinion on women playing tennis for the first time, the analogy to Stallone making a sandwich was beautiful.

[jough]

I love how the most offensive things Teodor can think of are not in any way offensive to anyone.

[wombat]

That really is why men like to watch collisions on television, isn't it? I never thought of it before.