Okay. I've given this more thought than it deserves, and here's what I've come up with.
1. I'll establish a mods-only forum once we get the mods lined up. The reason for this is, I don't want to screw with the permissions more than once, because I'm lazier than Onstad on Sunday.
2. Selling moderatorships (is that a word??) probably isn't the fairest way to do it, and we're not here to turn a profit. Given my expectations above, I think the best way to dole out the mod positions is by making y'all compete, but not financially. So, I'm going to require that you each apply for the job. Please submit a resume and cover letter via e-mail (jamie underscore dunston at yahoo dot com) by 11 AM on Monday, 4 August, to be considered. Also include a ranked list of the positions for which you would like to be considered. More qualified candidates will be given priority, and I will assign forums based on the quality of the applications and your preferences. Bonus points given for wittiness. Spelling counts.
3. When all the mods are selected and installed, you will all get a special rank. In fact, if I'm impressed enough with your collective applications, I will give you individual ranks -- so remember, you're not just competing, you're also working as a team. To compete individually. But with teamwork. Or something.
4. Wait, there is no 4.
So get those applications in! When the mods are selected we will have a big swearing-in ceremony and your ranks will be bestowed with a great deal of pomp and circumstance. Probably Monday afternoon, provided that nobody asks me to do any actual work at the office.
I hope this sounds fair to all.