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[Drygioni]

I think we're getting rolled here - dumping Thome for Swisher is a savvy move for a guy who claims ignorance.

He had higher numbers, and was free? Is that how this works?

[melack]

Dude, seriously. One of the writers on my favorite Mariners blog is English. They may act all "Chip chip! Sign me book!" but in reality they're all "Pitch 'em inside! High and tight! Give 'em the nasty heater!" Note: this can be applied to baseball-savvy Englishmen as well as those who enjoy dirty sodomy.

[lprkn]

He had higher numbers, and was free? Is that how this works? Aw shucks guys, all I have is 4 kings. That's bad right?

[Golfhaus]

Dumbass question time: What is the purpose/what are the rules behind the Utility position in the roster?

[littlefallsmets]

It is basically the same as The Designated Hitter.

You can put any damn hitter you like there and, also, it is the only place you can put Utility players... that is to say, players who do not qualify for any defensive position, either because they are always DHs, always pinch-hitters or... I think in some cases, if they are a new call-up with no defensive pedigree per the Yahoo system.

[Drygioni]

Throughout my admittedly short-life I have studied many things.

Literature, art, music, science for example.

In all of these fields of study I have encountered difficulties. Despite this, I have managed to unlock the enigmatic thoughts of the great writers; find meaning in the most vague daubing; compose beautiful symphonies and understand the minutest details and facets of quantum physics.

Baseball, however, is fuck*ng ridiculous! I can't make head or tail of this (though I eagerly anticipate the first matches)

[littlefallsmets]

Complicated, obscure, statistically-obsessed and yet... in its weakest moments... wholly focused on the fluke that is the long bomb. When you understand baseball, you understand America in all its glory and all its sickness alike.

We can't just have dudes kick a ball in one direction or another, we are way too twisted up inside.

[Drygioni]

Are you beating me in our 'match' at the moment? I figure I should ask for advice on understanding that at least.

[melack]

A word of caution: they're only called "matches" in fantasy baseball. If you call a real baseball game a match, someone will throw apple pie at you.

[littlefallsmets]

So far:

My team can rake! Pitch? Not so much.

Basically, my team looks a lot like the Phillies right now.

[melack]

My best starting pitcher (really my only good starting pitcher) gave up a homer in the first inning, but managed to pitch the rest of the way without giving up any more runs. Let's just say seeing your ace's ERA drop from 27.00 to under 3.00 is a lovely sight.

[littlefallsmets]

I forget who is the Fightin' Phlogs but...

Aw man, that Braves-heavy strategy is rough chuckles.

I am not being gloaty, I am full-on condolencating.

[Arachno-capitalist]

I did some shifting around so maybe my team wont suck as much. I am open to trades for first line mets players.

[Golfhaus]

Baseball season doesn't REALLY start until the first Mets-Braves game.

4 1/2 innings in, and I've already busted about six blood vessels in my head.

[littlefallsmets]

Men with No Name, I have responded to your trade offer and I have responded with vigor.

Also:

Please save my week, Carlos Guillen. I need a run, a coupla hits and... maybe a stolen base outta ya?

That'd get me AVG, R and SB... I've already locked up W, K and SV... I am good with the pitching counting stats. The power stats... uh... not so much. RBI and HR are lost causes and I'm locked into losing WHIP and ERA but...

If you could get me a 6-4 or even a 5-4-1 week while I kick the tires, here, that'd be great.

Thanks.

EDIT: Okay, you got me the two hits and the run... there's not a whole lotta stolen bases to be had when you're down by fuckin' eleven. That'll do, pig. That'll do.