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That the second best way to sound like a noob is to ask why robot and pants are censored?

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Author Topic: May 2008 Blogs  (Read 3463 times)

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Death Ray

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Re: May 2008 Blogs
« Reply #15 on: May 19, 2008, 09:46:28 pm »

I like me some mustard, but my brother was a fiend in his youth. Dude would put mustard on his oatmeal.

I'd like to see a regular feature where Nice Pete reviews chain restaurant condiments.
"Arby's Horsey  Sauce:  I  allow one molecule alone of this factoried garnish to reach the back of my throat. My mind awakens to memories that are not my own. I see a scab covered man roasting a small reptile over a can of Sterno. He takes a bite. I taste a mouthful of charred scales. It is the future I am tasting. That is where Arby's  pimple discharge belongs: on the burnt skin of a radioactive skink being eaten by humanity's last son. Not now, not in my mouth. I will not speak for the rest of the day, until I know the particle is gone and not secretly influencing my words.

"Next week: Taco Bell's Border Sauce ("Fire" variety): a flock of lying bats wearing clown wigs."
« Last Edit: May 19, 2008, 09:58:52 pm by Death Ray »
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jay-ell

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Re: May 2008 Blogs
« Reply #16 on: May 19, 2008, 11:23:16 pm »

DeathRay, that was obscenely awesome. 

How would Nice Pete describe the flavour of a tiny can of Dr. Pepper?
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AugustWest

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Re: May 2008 Blogs
« Reply #17 on: May 20, 2008, 01:51:27 am »

I like hossy Sauce.
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jay-ell

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Re: May 2008 Blogs
« Reply #18 on: May 20, 2008, 02:12:18 am »

Me, too.  But somehow, I think NP wouldn't.
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"I always hear 'punch me in the face' when you're speaking. But it's usually subtext." -- Martin Freeman as John Watson

Death Ray

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Re: May 2008 Blogs
« Reply #19 on: May 21, 2008, 01:30:16 am »

DeathRay, that was obscenely awesome. 

How would Nice Pete describe the flavour of a tiny can of Dr. Pepper?

"A wolf, salivating over the scent of a lamb he has just felled, hearing the worthless bleats of the mother who should have willed that her issue develop the traits of swift escape before it had quickened in her belly...that wolf sinks his teeth into fresh blood and warm flesh, and Dr. Pepper is what he tastes. It is a can of Thor's tears."
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jay-ell

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Re: May 2008 Blogs
« Reply #20 on: May 21, 2008, 02:15:21 pm »

*weeps*

In a good way. 
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CortJstr

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Re: May 2008 Blogs
« Reply #21 on: June 01, 2008, 03:51:52 am »

http://philippesblog.blogspot.com/2008/05/i-am-learning-about-hobos.html

I already learned everything there is to know about hobos from John Hodgeman's book, thankyouverymuch.
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wombat

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Re: May 2008 Blogs
« Reply #22 on: June 01, 2008, 12:33:09 pm »

But that is a book for grownups and Phillippe is five.
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Lister

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Re: May 2008 Blogs
« Reply #23 on: June 02, 2008, 06:13:07 am »

Already he knows that karate is the proper response to being flipped off.

Kids grow up so fast these days.
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Lister.  Not that one, the other one.
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