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[Asherdan]

[Golfhaus]

I did a ninth grade report on Teddy Kennedy, and wrote to his office asking for some biographical information. A month after the report was due, I got the info from them. It did, however, include a letter that he had signed. The first "important" autograph I ever received.

So I have a soft spot for the man. Pull through, Teddy!

[wombat]

Oh, so mean. I have had such a bad day. Can we not be mean to people today just because we hate their politics?

Tomorrow might work, though. I'll let you know.

[littlefallsmets]

I'm convinced that the "murder" thing was a frame job, wherein The Powers That Be figured that killing three brothers with White House aspirations and passing them off as un-coordinated would have even the rubes of America calling shenanigans so...

Y'know. They had to cap his power in a different way.

But then, I suppose, I'm sort of a sucker for conspiracy theories that make too much sense.

[theinevitable]

i was just thinking the other day...
in other countries when a president/prime minister gets whacked it's always by a really coordinated conspiracy of high-ups or generals or whatever.
But in the US we're so awesome that lone whack-jobs can pull off amazing whack jobs?

[Arachno-capitalist]

i was just thinking the other day...
in other countries when a president/prime minister gets whacked it's always by a really coordinated conspiracy of high-ups or generals or whatever.
But in the US we're so awesome that lone whack-jobs can pull off amazing whack jobs?

Yeah, people believe that have obviously not watched enough internet documentaries. Did you know Bush killed JFK?

[littlefallsmets]

Grandpa Bush?

Wouldn't put it past him.

Much as it would be awesome and romantic to say that... you know... some big easily-identified historical personage behind it, Nixon or LBJ or Castro or some mad Russian dictator... it was a lot more likely shadow-men like Prescott Bush.

Piddling oil merchants who mistook the breath of history as the wind in the sails of their coming-in-ships. War profiteers. Conspiracies not of sweeping world conquest but of short-term amoral economic interest.

No one Big Bad, rather a thousand blandly greedy Invisible Hands.

Those who would only be kings and those who would only beget them.

A conspiracy of buzzards, a murder of crows.

[Choop]

uh

teddy survived a plane crash in '64. maybe he wasn't "supposed" to.

[littlefallsmets]

teddy survived a plane crash in '64. maybe he wasn't "supposed" to.

Lets ask his colleague, Senator Wellstone of Minnesota, his opinion on the matter.

Oh wait, sorry. He died in about the most ridiculously obvious plane "crash" since motherfuckers thought that airplanes would look like helicopters on pogo sticks. So we can't ask him.

[Golfhaus]

I just wanted to see some the complex mental gymspastics people would go through over the sadistic bag of shit evil.

At least Kennedy uses his evil for good. As opposed to someone like McCain, who's using his good for evil.

[wombat]

How about now?

Oh, all right.

But surely we can find more interesting news to talk about. How about the epidemic of escaping orangutans?

Associated Press - May 18, 2008 12:03 PM ET

TAMPA (AP) - Two orangutans are safely back in their cages after escaping from enclosures at two different zoos across the country.

At Busch Gardens in Tampa, Florida, part of a new exhibit is closed after a 10-year-old female orangutan escaped yesterday by climbing the exhibit's windows. Caretakers had to coax it into a back area using apples, carrots and vanilla ice cream for about an hour.

Meanwhile, 3,000 visitors at the Los Angeles Zoo were forced to head for the exit yesterday when a 29-year-old orangutan named Bruno punched a hole through mesh that surrounds his habitat. Authorities say he was free for about 20 minutes until a handler saw him in a holding area behind the cage. Keepers quickly approached the orangutan and sedated him.

Bruno never made it into the zoo's public area and zoo officials say "he was never aggressive."

[littlefallsmets]

There are many angles to this story, of course.

Were they in a long-distance May-December romance, breaking out to see each other?

Are apes just growing more intelligent because of pollution ala "Kamandi The Last Boy on Earth"?

Is Bruno the most awesome name for an orangutan ever or is a better one possible?

I imagine that he looks like Bruce Willis except, of course, more human and intelligent than Bruce Willis. Probably a better harmonica player as well.

[theinevitable]

I have a really big crush on Orangutans. Like, I think they are just such amazing animals. They are my favorite primate, I think (although Gibbons are pretty cool, if only for their human-like mating patterns).

[Golfhaus]

I have a really big crush on Orangutans. Like, I think they are just such amazing animals. They are my favorite primate, I think (although Gibbons are pretty cool, if only for their human-like mating patterns).

You're mom's my favorite primate.

I'm sorry.

[side_show]

I have a really big crush on Orangutans.

... is the sort of quote that will be taken out of context and used against you if you ever end up in the sort of job where people do that.