Dear Asswipe Client,
Stop IMing me to ask if you can call me at home, I have shit to do that is incompatible with listening to you take fifteen minutes to explain to me that you need a description for the product that you're going to email me a link to. Just send the email with the link in the first place, I check my email more reliably than I answer my phone anyway.
Also, if you want me to include seven specific keywords/phrases in the title, you might also want to let me know that you have a hard limit of 88 characters *before* the third revision, otherwise I will keep sending you stuff that is too long. Especially since the bizarre keywords you gave me add up to more than the word limit BEFORE the addition of conjunctions, punctuation, or words that describe what the actual product is used for.
In other words, dickhead, email me your requirements before I start writing, or I'm going to start charging you every time I have to do something over because you weren't up-front about simple but important shit like character count.
Sincerely,
-- Your Copywriter